Back in to a Fish Tank

Hey hey readers. If I’m going to blog I might as well make them interesting. You know I’m not THAT guy, so this might be as interesting as it gets.

I’ve shared about my plants and moving right along I think I’m just about ready to move on and try to keep a fish alive. If you didn’t know they have this saying about recovery and ultimately relationships while in early recovery I believe. Or just a good rule of thumb in general.

Get a plant. If in 4 weeks it’s still alive get a fish. If the fish is still alive in 2 months get a cat/dog. If everything is still alive and THRIVING including yourself in 6 months get a human.

Im pretty sure I’m paraphrasing but that’s the “it goes something like” version.

As I’ve learned about myself over the last 2/3 year impulsive, rash and not well thought plans never seem to go the right way for very long in my life. So lately I have been taking a much calmer gradual pace at life. And that has extended into my hobby of fish husbandry. Cause the old me would have a 4 fully stocked tanks by now.

I’ve played around with aquascaping before as I’ve brought up here on my blog. I never felt like it was a good effort because for the scape I wanted I lacked the one thing (minus CO2) it required, patience. Oddly enough I have the upmost patience when it comes to plants. Watering seemingly empty pots and containers for weeks until one magic day. The records shows that I fill a tank with some kind of stock within the first 30/60 days.

Well not this time. And yea before you ask it is killing me. Visit my Snapchat for daily updates of nothing visibly changing. Depending on how long you have been flowing my blog or how far back your read at least under the fish page you may be familiar with the “Zen Garden”. Don’t matter anyhow I’m about bring it up anyways.

So the Zen Garden went through a few changes in its early days mostly because it was my first live planted tank and also because I have a very indecisive personality. It’s final design was a shrimp and snail planted tank with a pair of 24k gold white cloud minnows. Ehhh. Ringing a bell now. Cause I’m jogging my own memory.

Happy and sad feelings. Great it was my first. Learned a lot. Unfortunate I no longer have that set up. Mainly happy thoughts because I’ve learned from my mistakes and the errors I made in the first go round like the “GASSING” RIP chocolate le sigh.

So this time around no stock (maybe snails or shrimp if NECESSARY cause algae or something) until it proves to be a WELL established planted tank. I have found plants that grows speedy even with out co2 and easy for beginners. So if you have planted tanks weather fully established or just started out please send in those pictures I would love to see them.

To help myself “keep calm” about the weight I tried something new or rather never properly done. Growing aquarium plants immersed and then switching them to their submersed state. Adds a new step and makes the wait time seem shorter giving there’s a halfway mark. Being the replanting and the submersing. It’s so like me but I have no idea what aquarium plants I am growing from seeds. If I have to guess one looks like some type of hair grass and the other some type of clover. So if you’ve purchase aquarium seeds and you might can help me classify the one I have I would greatly appreciate the help.

Of course I bought other stock from the store to give the aqua scape a deep dense look also because I can’t buy fish to put in yet. I kept the tags as well as took pictures so I’ll be able to properly identify those plants in the tank. Sorry to inform you readers I will not be disclosing that on my blog at this time. That is because I am also documenting the journey of this tank on video so make sure to check that out and see a clear view and some video comparison on my YouTube channel. PS: I’ve had fans say they have trouble finding it. If that’s you message me and I can send you the direct link.

Still playing the waiting game and honestly this tank has a ways to go and it won’t be until it’s finished when I release the information here on my blog. Don’t be like that. Normally the readers get everything first. But I’ll leave this wordy blog on another good suprise. I may not be able to buy stock for my….. tank(s) but I’m happy for other reasons. Quantity over quality. 1 is nice, 2 is better. …. Guessed it yet ??

Ok the secret is I’m currently working on more than one tank. The Zen Garden.5 is the slow to start tank. But the tank soon to be called “the Mississippi” is a fast set up for someone other than myself. Guess who gets the behind the scenes stuff first for that project. Yup. That right you guys all 1.5k of my subscribers.

Next in this series is going to be trips down memory lane, do and donts, lessons learned, opinions,facts and myths. Since ya know, we’ll be wait on the planted tank to decides to be established. Look forward to seeing you back here soon.

-K

Yes, I still have fish

Now that I’m realizing Ive come clean about my prewritting and scheduling posts but still haven’t explained, the title may be a bit confusing. Here’s a sad shocker… I don’t have any shrimp 😔 But good fish news my school of cory which unfortunately down to 3 did successfully spawn at least once, and produced health offspring.

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The gold pack are also still kicking with their original numbers and the runt of the bunch Pepper seems to have finally hit his growth spurt. I also bought a mystery fish for the Nancy drew bowl but no spoilers because it will be on youtube soon.

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Right now all my attention is on my community tank, specifically my live plants getting them to flourish in the tank b and then going back and adding hard scape. Keeping a sharp eye on the baby Corys , even though they seem to be in excellent condition you can’t be too sure. And boy is it fun to watch them grow from egg to fry to fish.

So in the mean time as I get my blogs together enjoy and catch up on all the footage from blogs months ago that is soon available on my YouTube channel.

Thanks for reading….

And yes the blogs will get better

Renaming the Mystery Tank

Since the tank is a busy it’s time for a complete over haul again. More fundamental changes. First off it’s not a tank it’s more of a bowl and maybe because of it being an oversized wine glass the distortion from the curved glass is basically a magnifying glass. Still thinking about the same stocking options but with a wider variety of plants. And the name has got to go. It’s a bowl , not a “tank”. I guess the mystery has been spoiled instead of solved. I don’t know the name of the 2 plants from seeds but I often don’t know what type of plants I have. Unfortunately they died before I could really identify them.

I have decided to rename the mystery tank fish bowl to : The Nancy Drew bowl. One for the magnifying look and feel of looking into it and two because I’m counting on the stock to be elusive  especially once the plants grow in. As you can see I have got my aquarium sand in the mail and will be giving that a try. Personally I think the fluval stratum is good just not for beginners, plants that are slow to create roots, or in tanks that already have stock in them and are trying to add plants to. Over all do it does as advertised, great for shrimp and plants as far a nutrients go and does not harshly affect the pH of the water.

Still trying to solve that mystery Nancy Drew? Still no exact species names for the seed plants. One might be some type of hair grass and the other I believe is some type of clover. I have a spot for the Anacharis with some trimmings curious to see if they can be switched from submersed to immerse state relatively easy. Since any hard scape is going to look oversized because of the magnification I decided to just go with out. I’ve made small tweeks in the substrate that hopefully in a couple will help the view of the scape as imagined.

I’ve never worked with aquarium sand but it was the same process getting seeds to germinate and sprout using the dry start method. Same amount of growth and root system. However because the sand will become more compact when the bowl is filled with water and it’s heavier than the stratum I believe that the young seedlings will have more stability. Like most seedlings they will stretch towards the light if it’s not close enough or strong enough cause carpet plants to look like sickly stem plants. Luckily most seedlings don’t need an expert light to grow in the early stages.

Spoiler Alert : I have also added the flourite black sand to what was once known as the Zen Garden… Not really sure what I’m going to do with that tank of the poorly put together scape in it. I really put it in there because the last of the fluval that I had went into that tank and it wasn’t enough for a good layer or substrate.  There isn’t any plants or stock in that tank so for now its just basically a control tank. Still a spoiler because I am eventually going to be giving the nano 3.5 a nice over haul.

If everything goes according to plan, which is rare, I’ll be letting the Nancy Drew Bowl sit for a few weeks and allow the seedlings to really get establish. Which would make for a pretty boring blog post. So hopefully we won’t be back with an update here for about 3 weeks. Let’s keep our fingers crossed, I can’t possibly fail at the same project 3 times right?

Worm infestation !!!

First, yuck. Secondly, oh wow. Lastly, “well fuck”.

Remember the little white worms I found in my tank a few weeks ago. Well little turned in to a lot real quick. So heavy handed feed strikes again and this time with what appears to be dire consequences. Yes I know I said I wasn’t going to be feeding the Zen garden but what can I say. I really don’t have a valid excuse actually. Detritus to baby shrimps was still more than enough to keep them fed. I digress, it was only one wafer.

It first it was interesting seeing one or 5 near the old decaying wafer that the shrimp seemed to ignore until it was gross looking anyways. In a few days it was slightly concerning because I started to see them wriggling around in the substrate on the other side of the tank. It got a whole lot worse in less than 3 days.

Granted I am only skimming water near the surface when I do a change so the substrate hasn’t been disturbed or maintained in almost a month now. Still have baby shrimp in there. During the water change last week I ended up kicking up a bunch of detritus from the back compartments into the living space of the tank. It looked like ash on the plants and over all it made the tank look like ass too.

Now after doing more research I have mixed emotions exactly what to do with these little white worms that I know now are just blooming in the Zen garden. I am following my first mind and leaving the tank alone and just keeping an eye on it. I won’t step in unless I have to, like if I have bad water test or start seeing dead baby shrimp . Let’s hope everything is going to balance itself out.

This could be a lot worse. I could have planaria which is a carnivorious type of flatworm or some form a parasite that could be a big danger not only to the garden but to any tanks I might have.  Since I was able to dodge somewhat of a bullet I am going to stick to my guns and not feed the Zen garden at all.

Worse cause scenario the population continues to bloom and I notice a food shortage of any detritus matter I did find a handy diy method of catching and removing detritus worms with an empty bottle. At an extreme measure I could  remove as many shrimp as I can and simply put them into the community tank since the minnows would happily feed on any worms that decides to hitch hike over and boom problem irraticated.

Let’s hope nature takes its course, the course that I would love for my tanks.

Make sure to only feed what your livestock can consume in about 15 minutes…. Or you can end up with worms too!

Oh… Btw, Brownie the shrimp is buried (pregnant) again 🤷🏾‍♂️

Have a safe weekend everyone. 💙

29 years later.

Corny title I know but here we are. I didn’t think I’d live to see 21 let alone make it this close to 30 years of life. We all can admit that 2020 has been a shittt year no matter which way you turn the Rubik’s cube. Unfortunately we are still in the year 2020 and things are still , things… So for me I am going to revamp going into another year of life even if it is only approaching the end of the worse year America has seen in quite some time. So yayyyyy happy 29th birthday to me.(soon)

So here we go with the new year (of life)resolutions and I do believe I have good ones and you’ll get to seem some of the cooler ones this week.

Instead of going in order I’m going to go by what excites me the most. And currently, because Sunday morning came alot faster than predicted; a new venture coming into my life is furry fatherhood. Yup, I’m going to be a pet dad. Yes, I am still into my fish husbandry but there’s nothing like having one of man’s best friends around. I am getting a dog. I know the ups and downs, ins and outs, pros and cons of it all as well as some really juicy spoilers. But first let me as you, “What breed do you think would be a good fit for me?”.

Next one, not excited for the journey but super excited for the results. This goal is fitness, planet fitness to be exact. Yes, yes I know the world is coming to a bitter end but that’s still not much of an excuse to take care of your physical form. With the Covid running rampant I don’t know if I’ll actually be able to get into a gym let alone feel comfortable in one. Should the opportunity arise that’s my go to gym. Until that time I have taking my exercise serious again and with the help of Yang gang fitness on Twitter I find myself running on the beach at least twice a week sometimes more.

As mentioned briefly in the first paragraph I still have updates coming from my Zen garden aquarium as well as a new aqueon tank that got set up soon than expected and stocked heavier than my budget. I don’t want to give away too much on this subject because it is a category all by itself as well as a key point branching off to other platforms. So sit tight bud, I’ll be right back with that.

Smaller things include refinding my love in alot of different hobbies I’ve enjoyed over the last decade; video games, drawing, poetry, diy’s, comedy, etc. I know I promised something that would knock your socks off Sunday morning but cut me a break here, it’s Sunday morning.🤣 In all seriousness though, I am excited for what’s coming soon and I am passed excited to get my life back on track and focused towards doing things that I wholeheartedly enjoy & of course sharing all that stuff with all of my readers.

Let’s be productive this week! Nothing beats a failure but a try.

Follow/Add me on the few platforms I still use. To stay up to date with my movement through out the week. AMOSC: Selfmadekris Twitter: MrImanKing

Self Esteem & Motivation

Welcome back readers. Getting a little personal with this post. It is necessary for the post to come. I thought on it for almost 5 minutes, and this subtle explanation was what I came up. The new subscribers might not notice that I have been off schedule for a little over 2 weeks. The veterans probably aren’t surprised in the least. With the title in mind I struggle with one of those character traits, can you guess which one?

All above is honestly the correct answer. In my opinion I think they go hand in hand for a lot of different reasons. Motivation can be hard to find if you lack self esteem and being able to believe in yourself. Having self esteem is super awesome but if you have no motivation to push your awesomeness into doing something great, do you really have esteem in your self? Not sure it that made a whole lot of sense but if you get it then we are on the same wavelength my friend and we can vibe, you should stick around.

For the sake of this writing(and my pride) we are going to talk about the lack of motivation I’ve had almost all my life I suppose. Suffering from bipolar depression having healthy motivation and not hypo mania can some times be a difficult thing to grasps. Also I’m lazy and I’m stupid and I pull other people into my lazy stupid bullshit (for the Rick and Morty fans). In reality however I do have quite a track record of not finishing or seeing things through. I can read a list full, might be a 2 part blog. But if I’ve learned anything in recovery it’s not to beat yourself up. So instead let’s read off the things I did finish. High school. Military. Trade school.

I digress the list of incompletes is longer but that gives me a longer list that I can turn into completions. There’s several underlying reason that my level of motivation can go from a 10 to a 0 quick. All little things that I will improve over time. I’ve talked about a lot of them on this platform. My almost inability to make hard decisions. My distorted black and white thinking. Of course my “ADHD” and my problems with staying focused on a single task to begin with. I seem to get comfortable in my stagnancy all to quickly and easily.

Self esteem was in the title so let’s not leave it out. Like many Americans I am not in the best of shape especially for a 30year old veteran. There’s time where I desperately need a hair cut, laundry day outfits etc. I would like to think my self esteem is about where it should be on an average basis. I might not be a 10 in some eyes but I think overall in anyone’s book I’m a 6-7 on a good day.

So obviously if I could find motivation to complete anything from small daily tasks to bigger monthly and yearly goals my life would start to form some direction and having constant motivation will become second nature. I really said all this to somewhat explain my disappearances with my blog post and other platforms(not Facebook tho, fuck that guy. Facebook can go eat a dick). Trust me there is a lot of drafts over here I just can’t ever seem to “find the time”

Bare with me… This is an ongoing issue we are working on. Good thing it’s Friday…

One Week of FULL Fitness

Technically, from Tuesday to today

Going from once or twice a week to more than a few days streak is a big accomplishment for me. It was all a matter of find my motivation and staying dedicated to the task at hand. I have to admit going from zero to a hundred ain’t all its cracked up to be. It was a welcomed physical barrier instead of just a mental one. Not being able to work out because of my depression has been weighing on me for quite some time.

10, 12 or even 30 minute workouts may not seem like much to gym rats but at this point working out for a total of almost an hour a day is enough for me. As I wake my muscles up, build mass and workouts become a little too easy I plan on getting some low maintenance equipment. Simple things like a mat, jump rope and maybe 2 20-25lbs weights. Little things to keep the drive alive and rewards for sticking to it. For now a full gallon of water is enough added resistance to feel like I’m accomplishing some sort of growth.

On most weekdays I wake up around 7am and go to sleep anywhere from 10pm to midnight. So on days I was running late I split my daily work out in 2, with a totally different routine for morning & night. This not only helped in my fitness journey by ultimately being able to do more in a total day but my mental health recovery as well. It’s helped my confidence and self esteem. I may not have the exact physique I right now but just knowing that I’ve been consistently making progress to the body I want is doing so much for me entirely.

For the past few day my muscles have been tight from the “no days off” routine but I do seem to be walking more straight back and shoulders and my posture seems to be improving too. I guess being stiff and sore can be a positive in some aspects. No pain, no gain. These last few days have been all about the upper body, arms and core muscles with a little bit of a back work in there. I look forward to assigning muscle groups to certain days like a normal person.

One of my favorite short routines is a 12 minute work out video on YouTube, from the channel called “Bully Juice”. I stumbled across his channel some time last week looking for short workouts under 15 minutes. Then earlier this week he came out with a different variation and more intense routine. So I made that my morning video follow along with a few slight changes to make it a little more personal and less intense for me.

In my previous blog in my fitness category I talked about the 10 minute morning routine from the Bully Juice YouTube channel. I was unsure last week if I was going to stick to that video. It was pretty simple and easy enough to follow but I felt like maybe it wasn’t really enough to do in the mornings. However with it accompanied with the 12 minute video it seemed to be getting the job done I started to feel the burn again. I left it completely optional, if I wanted to add a 10 more mins I could but I didn’t feel like it was a set in stone part of the routine. Some days I skipped it, but I found on days that I did do 22 minutes instead of just 12 I felt better about myself.

Having way more time to play with in my night routine slot I decided to round it out and work out close to an hour a day if I can. Also I wanted to do something strenuous enough that it would help me with falling asleep faster and staying asleep throughout the night. I wasn’t trying to sike myself out and do a long workout but upwards towards 20 minutes seemed like a good place to start since its about double the sessions I do in the morning. Sometimes I have days where I really had to push threw those last few reps with everything I had. I can only do that so many times before I start slacking in my form due to fatigue and bad form does way more harm then good. So again I’ve been taking it nice and slow and steady.

I don’t see a whole lot of physical changes, nothing looks more defined, cut or tone but it’s only been a week and I am making up for a lot of lost time. I am more motivated. More focused. More driven. That is the main ingredients you need to improve anything in your life, not just fitness.

 

When to Disclose?

In my opinion it should be brought up pretty early in the relationship. Especially since it can be a deal breaker for some people. Sucks but its true. Everyone have a right to their preferences no matter how close minded or shallow you may feel they are.

I think it goes to how deep you want the relationship to go and how much are you willing to share. If you don’t plan on telling them you have morning gas repeatedly every day then you probably aren’t going to share your complete anatomy with them either. Or if they know your parents and your full social you most likely have already told them extensively about your childhood.

I am 30 years old I don’t really have time to settle with some one who can’t appreciate all of me. Trust me my anatomy has nothing to do with the way I communicate in a relationship, or how I get the bills paid(not knocking anyone who does tho), or if I’m going to be a loving, understanding and caring boyfriend. I am more concerned if my partner can cope with my bipolar disorder than my experience and what led me to be the man I am.

And of course let’s be real people its 2020 and the world ain’t so black and white as it never was. Honestly, if this is a question you have to ask yourself don’t you think you should maybe either change the company you keep, the individuals you seek after or really do some inner seeking and find who you are, yeah?

circaMarch2018

Improper injections ?

This is a blog that’s long over due , bit of great great importance. If you feel like any of these facts I’m bout to drop are incorrect , Google it & thank me later.

First off guys, WE ARE NOT JUICERS !!! There is no reason why we should be offered intramuscular injections… men who have testosterone deficiency are not “suggested” to inject the hormones intramuscular. Don’t believe me, Google it. If you are like me and don’t like needles having the option of a less painful injection would have been awesome, especially at some of the clinics I’ve been at.

For the guys that do inject intramuscular especially in the thigh because I see so many dangerous injections on Facebook and Instagram live. Not passing judgement, just here to once again share public knowledge.

I was first instructed at at small youth clinic in New Orleans. It was not a trans-specific clinic and this was back in 2014 so I’m going to assume that both the doctors and nurses were not properly trained in hormones replacement therapy. Even though my doctor seemed other be knowledgeable; she ran all the proper tests, checked all my levels, and went through all the paperwork with me. I was doing clinical injections at first, of course because needles and injections give me a lot of anxiety. Soon it became quite a burden traveling from New Orleans East to downtown every other week , especially trying to juggle work and home schedules. So I decided to make the transition to self injections at home. Needless to say it did not go well, 4 years later and it still doesn’t go swimmingly🙄

When I advised my doctor I wanted to start doing self injections at home she sent me to the nurse who not only gave me a 5 minute hand demonstration and made the motion at my thigh but some how gave me the wrong gauged needles.

“Already nervous about stabbing myself with a needle that really didn’t help at all.”

Not going into detail but most of my injections during that session of therapy were painful and most likely improper.

Fast forwarding to almost half a decade later I find myself at a LGBTQAI specific clinic in NYC learning how to properly do a intramuscular injection. It was also at this time that I found out the first time I had been showed how to do my injections were not only incorrect but dangerous. That was then, this is now. So a few self injections using the new method and I found myself more confident and less anxious. Still probably took me longer than the average guy but whatever. It was less painful then prior injections, but I still would have opted for a choice even less painful if it would have been presented.

Again skipping to current time. I am no longer on team intramuscular injections. Subcutaneous I recently have found is the the best method for me. Result are about the same as they were before, since most guys believe the myth that intramuscular injections are more effective than subcutaneous injections. A myth of course that can be debunked quite easily with a little bit of research.

I’m not going to out right say guys are injecting hormones wrong but I will say some guys are practicing dangerous injection methods/habits that are improper. This is indeed a touchy subject. So allow me to just drop some uncommon facts and let everyone take away from it what they will.

• intramuscular injections are absorbed faster than subcutaneous.
• subcutaneous tend to be less painless
• intramuscular injections are administered in the muscle
• subcutaneous injections are administered in the fat
• intramuscular injections are absorbed quickly by the bloodstream

I am not a doctor and I am still very much suffering from Aichmophobia. Personally subcutaneous is the way to go for me. No matter what type of injection you do just be safe and be clean.

circaJan2018

 

The benefits from being around nature.

I’ve always enjoyed having pets. Even if they weren’t really pets. I used to get in so much trouble for sneaking and feeding the stray cats. Causing them to hang out around the house.

Not to mention the stray somehow suprisingly never rabid dogs. I even found much enjoyment and interest in wildlife. Like feeding the birds in squirrels in my back yard. Helping my grandmother in the day Lilly flower beds and rose bushes

Biology was always my favorite subject since elementary. And just being outside was a pleasure…. 

That was until I developed an unhealthy distrust for all human species.

Seeing another creature wether sential or not seems to promote calms and relaxation for me personally. And also usually being stoned it’s fun to watch pets just… live, you know.
Gives me hope 💗
Never stop appreciation life