Dating as A Transgender

Many people have talked about this subject, and I have decided to hop on the band wagon. Ha ha. No seriously. A lot of people miss the actual important difference when dating someone who is transgender vs dating someone who isnt.

Of course the main difference is simply just the word transgender. Notice I say the word instead of actually “being transgender”. Because like most transgender individuals; we realize that it really boils down to that one word. 

Looking at it this way. A transgender male such as my self; either dating a woman who is transgender or a woman who is not transgender. Simply for example, I may have a preference but I do not discriminate.

Now dating someone who is also transgender means I don’t really have to explain in detail what it means to transition and whatnot because my partner has also experienced some type of transition. 

Of course I know that mtf / ftm are also very different transitional experiences but just grabbing the complete concept of transition from one gender to another is difficult without first hand experience.

Also friends and family are already aware; regardless of personal stance, with the term transgender and you don’t get bombarded with the typical “seeing a transgender up close for the first time” questions like:

  • So what was your name
  • Did you have the surgery
  • Do you have before pictures
  • So how do y’all have sex


Yes, I am very aware that you may still receive questions like this from family and friends of your partner. But usually they have already been briefed on what’s PC and what isn’t. Usually…

Vs dating a one gender woman’s whose family and friends MIGHT be familiar with what it means to be transgender. Even though media wise we aren’t shown in the best light all the time. I mean it is 2018. But apparently some people are still ignorant. Then not only do you risk being exposed to those stupid and sometimes triggering questions but you may face people in your partners circle that are more than just ignorant..  yes I’m talking about the transphobic.

Cause let’s face it. As a transperson most of us will not stand to be associated with someone who is transphobic for obvious reasons. But to a one gendered person those reasons and being associated with someone who is transphobic doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. But it would be a big deal to the partner of course.

Now do we see that this is a topic that doesn’t receive a lot of attention…. But really should…

 Again I am not showing favoritism. So like look at this from another angle. If yours truly is dating a one gender woman there is certain aspects of my body she would have more understanding, and I would have less explaining to do; as far as biology goes. Honestly pre/post/non operation status doesn’t matter; at one time both have share experience in the same sex body. (Hope I said that without offending anyone too much)

That is the only Pro I can’t personally vouch for… My apologies.

There’s always pro’s and cons to every relationship cis/one gender or trans; hetero or homosexual. But put the word “Trans” on something and people always go straight for the genitals; “How do you have sex?” A relationship period is more than just sex. Yup, sex with someone who is trans is definitely different, but sex with a little person would be different too. Let’s be a little more concerned with how people love instead of how they have sex.

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What’s Iman’s religious beliefs?

Sure,  for those who don’t know; let’s change that. 

So I was baptized and raised in a Catholic home. Went to Catholic School. Catholic Church. Bible study. First Communion. Catechism. The whole sha-bang. 

Even at a young age, 7ish ;I wasn’t really “sold” on the whole ideology of Christianity and Jesus Christ. So I began to question it, but only to myself. Up until about age 11 I still blessed my food, and said my prayers when instructed but other than that I just wasn’t with it.

After the devastation my family, my city and my self felt from the wrath of the the flood waters following hurricane Katrina; on top of losing my grandmother my faith in “God” was completely gone. After praying and praying that she would be found safe and alive then one day after school being told she was found dead in her home I started to hate “God” and just about everything Christianity stood for. I soon found it was easier to dismiss that “God” really exsisted instead of having so much hate toward someone I wasn’t even sure was real in the first place. 

Between ages 15-17 I had dismissed any religious beliefs that were taught to me but it wasn’t until about age 22 when I had the urge to seek out something to believe or have faith in. Around this time now being an adult I was free to explore different religions and soon found myself at a Muslim errr umm.. church (pretty sure that’s the wrong word, sorry) I didn’t agree with all of their views and eventually we hit an ice breaker. 

Any type of organized religion,.. religion, period isn’t really for me.”

So I decided to revisit an bootleg DVD a found at my mother’s house titled “The Secret” and gave the ideology of the law of attraction a second thought. So it was this time; around 2013 that I labeled myself a spiritual person instead of a religious one.
And so well that’s where I’ve been since. I don’t knock anyone’s religion. I just rather just chill.

You either are a good person or you aren’t, ya know; and I try to be a good person.”

So now everyone knows 😊.

Smoke and be happy

An official Affiliate !!!

Of Solidarity Soap Change Project πŸ’―πŸ˜ŽπŸ“’

If you’ve read some of my prior blogs you may have stumbled on a review I did on the awesome transpride candle I purchased from them. I was so excited that someone was not only making products that cater to the trans community but also actively gives back by donating a percentage of certain sales to pointofpride.

So of course what does Iman do…..

“Oo , oo ; I can help! I want to help! This is awesome! What you’re doing is awesome! I want to help!”

And sooner rather than later I was receiving an email stating that I had been accepted into the affiliate program πŸ™ŒπŸΎ. At first I was nervous because even though I am pretty active in the community with things such as this; but being “Official” was somewhat unnerving. Again Mr Steven was great and answered all my questions and concerned. Success! 

What better way to kick off the new year than an awesome giveaway with some amazing products! As per usual Iman is still tardy to the party… But not by as much as I normally am πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ #improvement 

Time frame to enter is today(started @9am , sorry) until Friday 1/12/2018 @9pm. Rules for entree are simple and you can find them on most of my social platforms, i.e. Instagram, Facebook etc. Or you can watch me mix up my words in this unedited YouTube video here:

 Or click some of these links to learn more 😊

https://www.instagram.com/iman.da.god
https://www.facebook.com/ImanKing
https://www.solidaritysoaps.com/?tap_a=28385-061d88&tap_s=208457-6a1a09
Promo code #IMANNFRIENDS

420 experiment; Stems.

The age old question, is there enough THC in stems to get you high????

I was forced to find the answer to this question πŸ™„

In between careers, low on cash lead to the event we are about to discuss. It was going on close to a week since I had a proper dose of THC. Stress levels were increasingly high and I had become desperate. Google assistant of course found some nice articles about cannis plants and the how much THC is in every part of the plant.

 So I had the GREEN light 

 Actually I didn’t really read the article top to bottom, I got my answer and I proceeded. Missed the minor note that it may cause headaches; on top of several other reasons I would have probably got a headache today anyways. Ohhhhh man was is bad I had to wrap some ice in a towel and put it in the base of my neck to fall asleep. Before that pain was so excruciating I could barely see street. 

The buzz wasn’t even worth. But there indeed was a 30-50mins period where I was back to my normal relaxed self. And the headache didn’t get bad till almost 8hrs later & it didn’t turn into migraine until 12hrs after the first rip.

It’s mostly likely nearly impossible to simply roll a spliff full of sticks and stems and it be very successful. But a grinder and a water bong did about as much justice as it could.

Would I suggest it on a regular basis, probably not. But hey I definitely know the struggle. It’s hard out here for a pimp.

They should just legalize it πŸ™„

New DAY’s Resolutions

Yup, cause that’s just how often I’mma f*ck up this year. Not saying I’m planning to fail. Just being realistic; EVERY DAY of the “New Year” will be new and unfamiliar in some way & I’m definitely not perfect. So there’s gonna be times where I fail at life miserably.

But hey that’s why we make resolutions in the first place 

Here’s a short list of things I plan to take a swing at every day of 2018:

  1. Stop apologizing so much
  2. Quiting cigarettes
  3. Focusing on my goals
  4. Prioritizing myself
  5. Smell more flowers
  6. Healthy living habits
  7. Stop letting people mistreat me
  8. Stop letting people use me.
  9. Reach out to more POC
  10. Support black business

    That’s just a very, very small list. 

    But I’m not going to say, New Year; New Me. Rather: “New Year, Same Me, Better Decisions”. A lot of folxs go into a new year expecting for change to come overnight which is just about impossible. You have to first fix your behavior and then your personality will shift. Can’t expect to become a better person when you are not reprimanding your own actions & holding yourself accountable.

    Be Great Everyone

    -Iman

    My new baby Dragon πŸ‰πŸ’

    Yup, finally did it. How to train your dragon style… I know absolutely nothing 🀦…

    But this is a learning experience for both of us. I wanted a bearded dragon for close to 5 years now. For whatever reason I hadn’t got one until now. And I’m super stoked.

    I haven’t named them yet but they are approximately 2 months old. Normal not fancy style but just as cool looking.

    They are set up with the basics in a 40 gal long breeder tank. Eating a healthy arrangements of crickets, meal worms and veggies and even had it’s first shed a week after being home.

    They wave at me alot and sometimes I’ll catch them simply staring at either me or the tv, it’s hard to tell since you know their eyes are on the side of their head ha ha.

    So far it seems like we are getting along still sussing each other out. But they haven’t bit me and I haven’t forgotten to feed them so I guess it’s moving along pretty well.

    I am officially a beardie πŸ’―πŸ˜ŽπŸ€˜πŸΎ

    If anyone has any name suggestions I’m all ears 😊

    Dear LGB , T , QAI , etc

    I fight back…

    And we all know my blogs are unfiltered and I will read you your rights.

    But apparently it would seem that my image had gone soft….

    Just because I don’t address everything doesn’t mean I don’t see it or I don’t feel some type of way about it. I practice a lot more self care now and have greatly reduced the amount of stress I put myself through on a daily basis.

    I still see the transphobia, the loss of unity within our community, the judgement, the shade, the hate, the comparison, I see it and it STILL makes me sick. I have just choosen to live more healthy lately.

    Oh but I still see you and ya bullshit.

    I don’t care who you are but I will not tolerate any negative energy, vibes or statements aimed at LGB , T or Q community and it’s individuals. With that being said emphasis on the “I don’t care who you are” ; meaning if you are part of any of the communities mentioned prior and think that because you are “part of the community” you are safe to say whatever hurtful, negative or triggering bullshit you want to those also in the community.

    BECAUSE I WILL CALL YO BITCH ASS OUT!

    ” Iman, what do you mean? “

    I mean exactly what the fuck I said. Cause apparently the last time I blogged about how we should protect and pick each other up in a calm reasonable manner no one listened so nowwwwwwww, now I gotta get ignant πŸ™„.
    Just because you are a transman don’t mean you can down talk other Tguys on how the choose to transition or what they decided to do with their bodies.

    Just because your gay/lesbian & one gender doesn’t mean you can question transgender people on why they “just didn’t stay gay/straight”

    Just because you’re GNC does not give you the right or reason to misgender and judge those who choose to transition. AND VERS VISE.

    Just because you are a heterosexual transgender individual doesn’t mean it’s ok to speak down or negatively on the trans folxs that identify as bi or pansexual.

    Just because you identify as a lesbian doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to misgender and invalidate transmen.

    Just because you identify as a gay male doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to misgender and invalidate transwomen.

    Transmen. It is NOT ok to disrespect transwomen.

    Transwomen. It is NOT ok to disrespect transmen.

    Just because your are a transwoman it doesn’t make it ok for you to judge other transwomen by the way they choose to transition or live their lives.

    Just because your transgender doesn’t mean you can misgender or judge individuals who identify as GNC or A gender.
    If you don’t know by now I don’t play with all this damn hate and judgement inside our own community walls. I can’t stress enough that we ALL have to face the negativity of cis heteronormative assholes…. Let’s not do this to each other.

    ” Get your shit together people ! “

    Social platform handles

    IG : iman.da.god

    Twitter rants: iman_da_god

    AMOSC: Selfmadekris

    Transguys having babies ?…

    Yes for some reason this is always a question…πŸ™„

    Asked by whom…. Transguys 🀦

    I’ve already done several rants on this subject on several social platform but I realized I only slightly touched on transmen procreating in an older blog so I figured I would clear the fog today.

    ” IF IT’S NOT YOUR FUCKING BODY WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WORRIED. “

    So sick of this dumb ass community pointing fingers & judging each other.

    And thats all I feel like I have or anyone should have to say on the subject.

    -Iman

    Β Losing my job a week before Christmas…

    Hey readers, can’t say this blog will be any good news sorry…

    But yes I did lose my job a week before Christmas πŸ˜₯…

    The news totally came as a shock to me. I went through so many emotions in the matter of a few hours. My stress was at an all-time high and my confidence in myself was at a low it hadn’t seen in a while. 12 hours in I found myself still somewhat flabbergasted but had already began the stages of grief. 

    “It really hurts man. I thought I’d be making prosthetics forever.”

    It was hard copping with such a drastic and abrupt change in my everyday life; my way of living. Already having gone through several life altering events and having mental disorders I did what I could to fight off depression and not go down the ugly cold dark road. 

    My termination was not yet public knowledge but due to my line of work I had to somewhat explain to customers why I would no longer be able to help them. That was probably one of the worst things about being fired. 

    About 2 days in I found myself snapping back and on the job hunt again. It was still pretty tough getting out of bed and putting on clothes to go out into the world but it was even tougher looking myself in mirror and thinking about just giving up.

    ” I got fired. A week before Christmas. Through a text message. On my day off. ” , Now tell me that ain’t some shitty type of luck.

    As always though I had some amazing black girl magic to help me pick my self off the ground and keep on pushing. My moms, my sister & of course my girlfriend. My recovery time was way less than alot of the life changing events I had been through in the past. Considering it’s severity I would say it’s a new record. And I owe it all to my support system of women who love me unconditionally.

    So it’s only been a 2 days shy of a week since the whole ordeal and maybe it’s the holidays or just me mature and not being so angry all the time now but I am extremely optimistic about everything Iman.

    Thanks for reading.

    *Special thanks to all those who knew and reached out on more than one occasion to check on me, I really appreciated that πŸ’―

    ” Whose hiring ? “πŸ˜‚

    Letter to my exes…

    No , no don’t panic. This is not a petty blog..

    Dear Ex,

    What we had was special. At the time, I’m assuming; maybe not. That was then. This is me now. For whatever reason you didn’t make it to this chapter of my life; but that is neither here nor there now. I came to say that you taught me something. Wether it was a painful lesson or a bittersweet memory. No, you did not make me who I am today but you are forever part of my past. Something that can never be erased only learned from. However the promises I may have made, promises that I intended to keep; are no more. The past is the past for a reason. Irregardless to the facts and circumstances that lead you to becoming an Ex, I am grateful for all the learning experiences. And I am overjoyed to tell you that I am not the broken person you once knew… 

    -I am Iman