Want it, think it, have it ..Β 

Familiar with the law of attraction πŸ€”….

“I’ve become pretty good with the force. It’s about a 3-4 month turnaround.”

 I have had a pretty adventurous 2018 so far. Recapping the last month of 2017…. I lost my job, I was already struggling to make ends meet and trying to find balance in my life. But before I knew it my life started to change for the better. 

In the month of January I started a new job. Still struggling to make ends meet but I was making it. I started conveniently working at the restaurant I lived above of. I had experience and paperwork to be hired at least $1.50 above minimum wage but nevertheless I was hired at a dishwasher at $10.00 an hr.

February was an easier month, with finding myself again gainfully employed and no longer stressing the worry of becoming evicted. I continued to bust my ass at work. Picking up all hours I could as the kitchen dishwasher. Even picked up shifts as the opening cleaner. 

Things were continuously looking up as I did the awkward transition from February to March. My hard work did not go unnoticed and I began my training for being not only the night time closing chef but also a promotion to manager with a $2.00 raise.

Now in the first week in May rumors are going around that I am being looked at to replace the current assistant GM (lead chef/white hat in kitchen terms) whom is stepping down to spend more time with his kids. I’ve been giving more responsibility, unsupervised shifts, hiring and firing privileges, recipe creation etc. So it looks like a little over half a year and I’ve moved up from second to last on the totem pole to second to first.

Not bad.

Guess hard work does pay off πŸ™ŒπŸΎπŸ’―

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The benefits from being around nature.

I’ve always enjoyed having pets. Even if they weren’t really pets. I used to get in so much trouble for sneaking and feeding the stray cats. Causing them to hang out around the house.

Not to mention the stray somehow suprisingly never rabid dogs. I even found much enjoyment and interest in wildlife. Like feeding the birds in squirrels in my back yard. Helping my grandmother in the day Lilly flower beds and rose bushes

Biology was always my favorite subject since elementary. And just being outside was a pleasure…. 

That was until I developed an unhealthy distrust for all human species.

Seeing another creature wether sential or not seems to promote calms and relaxation for me personally. And also usually being stoned it’s fun to watch pets just… live, you know.
Gives me hope πŸ’—
Never stop appreciation life

Goodbye 360, hello 720!

Well if you couldn’t pull off 360 how are you gone manage 720??

Excellent question. I have no idea.

But I’m trying it anyways. 

Most likely my YouTube is way behind compared to the information in my blogs. Nevertheless, here’s the sit. About a month ago I cut my hair down to bare clippers no guard. Maybe a .5 in my crown. Started with a somewhat new canvass. 

Which was for the best because I’m approaching this wave journey at whole new angles. About 8 to be specific. I have said goodbye and good riddance to the 360 beehive and hello please don’t hurt me to 720 swirl. 

For those that aren’t all familiar with natural wave patterns maybe Google it cause I’m not the best to explain things. However key points are…

360 waves beehive

  • Brushing out from crown to egde.
  • What appears to be a bald spot in your crown.
  • Blind brush with ease.
  • 8 angles

720 waves spiral/swirl

  • Brushing in a clockwise motion.
  • “Ponytail at crown.
  • Difficult to blind brush crown.
  • 8 angles out, 4 angles in, 2 angles crown.

That probably didn’t make a whole lot of sense either. Well I tried.

Anyways, yup if at first you don’t succeed try something harder I guess. The most difficult change to cope with is brushing at different angles and of course the hook method trying to learn how to get this dang swirl.

So far I’m happy with the change in events and the new products that I’ve been using. Like new brushes and new durag/caps. Be on the look out for product placement in a future YouTube episode.

Thanks for sticking with me.

I still love my 360 & beehive wavers.

Minding your OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS!!!!!

“If you don’t have something nice to say; don’t say anything at all… If it doesn’t concern you, it isn’t any of your concern… What ever happened to that?..”

I’m starting to find as I get older and mature my patience for people not minding their own business, and not shutting the fuck up is fleeting. Like that shit really grinds my gears. 

Sometimes even though an issue doesn’t directly involve you but you still have a valid part as an ally. For instance: Men considering themselves feminist. Directly indirectly involved. 

By all means stand up for what’s right. I’m referring to people speaking up on with negative opinions on things are aren’t directly affecting them.  Key word here being negative.

So many times on social media I come across people spewing hatred and negativity on situations that don’t involve them directly or indirectly. 

Don’t mind me, I’m just venting….

Hard work pays off

..  or I just have really good luck

Either way life has been going good. Recall me blogging about abruptly losing one job back in December (a week before christmas) then I got hired 3 days later and starting working a week later. Well things have come a long way since then.

This dish washing job was what I thought was just something that would keep me afloat untill I either won the lottery or figured out life. However it quickly turned into something great. Of course I was putting in an enormous amount of hard work and effort into it. Because this was the only thing I had at the time to keep me from sinking.

Originally hired as “kitchen help” I learned a new skill as far as cooking; πŸ˜‹ now I know how to toss dough, 😏 been tossing salads for a while now tho. Of course me being my own worst critic and never ever having tossed dough let alone do anything else with a pizza besides either order, put it in the over or eat it. I quickly got frustrated a seized the opportunity to quietly maneuver to busboy/dishwasher. 

“Like always pot brings people together.”

Just so happen that the current dishwasher wasn’t thrilled about coming to work. Probably a college kid just look to have something to do sometimes a a small paycheck. So soon it went from picking up his shifts, to; “you’re the only dishwasher”. Seems like a miniscule job, one the someone would not desire. Nope. Not me. Doing pretty much mindless one task labor for a decent amount is fine with me. Can’t go to work stoned of you’re an accountant or a brain surgeon. Think about.

Still, the “decent” amount of money wasn’t really making me smile on paydays exactly. So I worked a little harder. Picked up extra deep cleaning shifts. Made my schedule completely flexible. Stood out there. Went above and beyond. Showed up and showed out. At first I felt like I wasn’t being taken seriously then *boom* I came in the clutch. Earned some respect, recognition and not to mention hours and money.

And now. .    it was time for my demands. I started asking around; who does what & why and how long before I can start to do that??? Still seemed like I wasn’t getting the results I wanted so I snatch my chance like women snatch they edges. 

Made the leap from dish to expo. When they needed a hand I was there. Slowly at first then a little more confident and a lot less mistakes. Still, effort for no movement. But I was waiting on a raise from my MVP moment so I was content and enjoy the switch from dish to expo at my leisure. Since my title was still dish but also liked to lend a hand and give my brain different task.

“Some have greatness thrust apon them”

The light at the beginning of the tunnel. A morning chef was calling it quits and enough faith had already been proven from my part that the position was mine. It came as more of a question than a statement. However, I was still being called for those hail Mary plays and, well my arm was getting tired. And let’s not forget IMAN IS NOT A MORNING PERSON. So now I’m starting to think this isn’t really the tunnel I want.

Originally reluctantly I had to speak up that I was getting burned out with working my normal nights , then detailed mornings. Much less reluctant when me mentioning another raise got brushed off like a snow flurry. Whilst asking me to do additional mornings for training. Still waiting for a raise. Not to mention on top of insomnia and my sleep pattern officially going to shit around that time.

Still I rise, tho. Keep working hard, giving 109% and most importantly having a flexible work availability schedule. Immediately after dropping the details to focus on morning trainings. Things get switched again. And not only do I keep my nights instead of having to train in the mornings (at open btw) but a closing manager position opens up and my training started the following shift, which happened to be that same night. Plus I am currently working at my new wages πŸ’―

Present day:

Working 2 weeks straight putting in extra time and effort into my training and once again proving that I am that MVP. Already 2 weeks into to the 6 of +40hrs/week you need to qualify for full time benefits. Hopefully here after my training it will simmer down and I can work a set schedule 40 and can go back to having a normal life.

Thanks for stopping by

I don’t know if it was hard work, because I’ve put in hard work before and got nothing. But I’ve literally have done no work not even fake work and been lucky. So maybe this time it’s a little bit of both πŸ‘ŒπŸΎ

The big….. Scalp?

Yes yes I’ve done something outrageous again. This time scalping my waves, destroying progress and basically starting all over, again, again.

It didn’t take much consideration before I knew this was the right thing to do. I was unsteady with my methods and my sessions and just plain not treating my waves right.

I couldn’t bare to cut my hair against the grain like I had originally planned. It just seemed like something I didn’t want to do. I do however go with a 1 on my crown and a .5 wtg and a very low taper.

I refuse to be caught dead with out my rag because when I look in the mirror I see a recovering cancer patient no pun intended. But in about 2 weeks I will be making my returning debuted to the 360 wave community. Hopefully sporting nice connections and a spinning wet 360s.
Brush, Comb & Stay Waves πŸ’―πŸŒŠ

Me and my waves broke up.

Still love them tho…

So apparently I was less of a waver than I originally thought. I was half stepping and didn’t even know it. I knew it was a tad bit more to 360waves then just brushing. But it was so much more than what I originally thought.

It wasn’t my fault. I was brushing and combing my hair. I didn’t know I wasnt doing shit.”

From the type of brushes you use. The way you tie your rag. The angles to train your crown. There was soooo much I was missing.

Not to mention I didn’t have as much dedication and motivation as a probably should have. And to be honest my routine could have used a few pointers. 

Enough about the bad. Out with the old and in with the new. I have decided to scalp myself. Yes I am going to do it myself. I figured why not. If I am going to try and start this journey over I might as well start it myself.

“I used to cut my own hair on the regular, for almost a year(2014). I’m not a stranger to clippers,… Or taking an L by my own hands.”

Worse comes to worse it’s still pretty cold out so a beanie is the back up plan πŸ˜‚

Now when I say scalped. I mean scalp. Completely going against the grain trying to undo as much progress as possible. So I guess this would be 360waves v3.0. I haven’t given up yet.

There was a few key factors on why I am starting over:

  • Change the angles I want my pattern
  • Different products and methods
  • Finding a good, knowable barber

I’ve figured out what works best for my hair to get a closed 360spin crown. So know that me and my waves have solved our differences we have decided to give it another chance with a fresh start.

Going back to the fundamentals on this one coach. As I progressed in this journey my dedication started to lack simply because I have good full textured hair; I didn’t have to do much, for the bare minimum. So I’ve agreed to go back to the basics. Keep it simple. Slow and steady.

Most importantly finding a GOOD barber. Not one that is going to knick my crown or give me a regular run of the mill haircut. My pattern is unique and an ordinary haircut slows progress. Sometimes when you want something done right you have to do it yourself. 

Enough of the chit chat see for yourself:

Loading…….*Insert YouTube video here*

Thanks for stopping by πŸ‘πŸΎ

&& Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram Facebook Twitter πŸ˜Š

Should I move back?

Yea never thought I would be considering this and to be honest I’m not even sure if that’s what I’m really considering.

But yet here I am blogging about it so it must be some kinda subconscious problem. So yup, part of me wants to move back to NYC because it’s familiar for one and living there for almost a year I had built bonds with people and established friendship and daily interactions that I really miss. Then of course with Mardi Gras just passing I am becoming increasingly homesick again. And with nothing of really importance keeping me in my current village my brain is telling me; “Well, why the fuck not? *shrug* ” For no other real reason besides that being  HOME 

All of this stems basically from feeling really isolated and alone. Imagine moving into a dorm but not having a roommate. Going to a 2hr class in the same building 5 days a week. Going off campus once a month and that’s only to get food for your ferret. 95% of all social interaction is through a cell phone. Not to mention running out of bud at least 3 times a month. 

Welcome to my life.”


But it’s not all bad. I’ve managed to secure 2 things in adult life that I hate having to deal with. A place of employment & a place of residence. Neither has very taxing upkeep and both are relatively comfortable considering. And that’s basically why I have been stationary. Somewhat just going with the flow for right now.

Partially because that’s easier than stressing about something that’s not even really a problem yet. Mainly because I dread making decision and hate making bad ones.

Of course I could always pack up everything and move to Cali like I did when I basically backpacked to NYC…

Adulting is hard πŸ™„

Social anxiety/trust issues + Personal Relationships = ???

Excellent question..

To this very day still solving this equation. Here’s what I’ve found so far.

My social aniexty and my distrust in people go hand in hand. My trust issues cause out of place and what some would call outrageous thinking especially in social interactions and relationships. My thought process on how to deal with and understand other people and how they interact was skewed a long time ago.

…like a glass plate once it’s broken, even if you gather all the peices; it will never be the same.

It is a daily struggle and an ongoing battle for me personally but I have learned that not everyone is out to get me. For the most part. I still think unrealistic pessimistic outcomes in certain social interactions. But not as much as I have in the past.

One of my coping methods that seem to be working is thinking, “What’s the worst that could happen?”. It sounds like thinking like that would actually increase my aniexty. On the contrary it helps. I am an over-thinker, can’t really change that and working on the way I think is still being, well; worked on. So no matter how outrageous and non-likely whatever crazy outcomes my aniexty cause me to come up with I let them play out in my head.

Most of the time these thoughts are so farfetched I end up laughing at myself and realizing how ridiculous I am. Some more realistic thoughts however do require some soul searching. For example: a lot of times I find myself stressing about what people’s intentions are with me. So I map out exactly what’s the worst that could happen if they are in fact out to hurt me in some way. I pretty confident in my ability to protect myself both physical and mentally. So instead of just wondering I prepare. 

The downside to this is it takes a lot of brain power to manifest these thoughts without hurling myself into some kind of depression. I would compare it someone being scared of a rollercoaster. They watching rare videos of people in rollercoaster accidents. Then look up exactly how rollercoasters work, how to spot defects and faults on the tracks; fully understanding the end and outs of the coaster and mapping out all the possibilities that could actually happen should they decided to get on that ride.

“Now that I’m actually writing this… You know what, this will probably only work for my weirdness.”

So technically I’m still working on the answer to the equations above…. 

Dating as A Transgender

Many people have talked about this subject, and I have decided to hop on the band wagon. Ha ha. No seriously. A lot of people miss the actual important difference when dating someone who is transgender vs dating someone who isnt.

Of course the main difference is simply just the word transgender. Notice I say the word instead of actually “being transgender”. Because like most transgender individuals; we realize that it really boils down to that one word. 

Looking at it this way. A transgender male such as my self; either dating a woman who is transgender or a woman who is not transgender. Simply for example, I may have a preference but I do not discriminate.

Now dating someone who is also transgender means I don’t really have to explain in detail what it means to transition and whatnot because my partner has also experienced some type of transition. 

Of course I know that mtf / ftm are also very different transitional experiences but just grabbing the complete concept of transition from one gender to another is difficult without first hand experience.

Also friends and family are already aware; regardless of personal stance, with the term transgender and you don’t get bombarded with the typical “seeing a transgender up close for the first time” questions like:

  • So what was your name
  • Did you have the surgery
  • Do you have before pictures
  • So how do y’all have sex


Yes, I am very aware that you may still receive questions like this from family and friends of your partner. But usually they have already been briefed on what’s PC and what isn’t. Usually…

Vs dating a one gender woman’s whose family and friends MIGHT be familiar with what it means to be transgender. Even though media wise we aren’t shown in the best light all the time. I mean it is 2018. But apparently some people are still ignorant. Then not only do you risk being exposed to those stupid and sometimes triggering questions but you may face people in your partners circle that are more than just ignorant..  yes I’m talking about the transphobic.

Cause let’s face it. As a transperson most of us will not stand to be associated with someone who is transphobic for obvious reasons. But to a one gendered person those reasons and being associated with someone who is transphobic doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. But it would be a big deal to the partner of course.

Now do we see that this is a topic that doesn’t receive a lot of attention…. But really should…

 Again I am not showing favoritism. So like look at this from another angle. If yours truly is dating a one gender woman there is certain aspects of my body she would have more understanding, and I would have less explaining to do; as far as biology goes. Honestly pre/post/non operation status doesn’t matter; at one time both have share experience in the same sex body. (Hope I said that without offending anyone too much)

That is the only Pro I can’t personally vouch for… My apologies.

There’s always pro’s and cons to every relationship cis/one gender or trans; hetero or homosexual. But put the word “Trans” on something and people always go straight for the genitals; “How do you have sex?” A relationship period is more than just sex. Yup, sex with someone who is trans is definitely different, but sex with a little person would be different too. Let’s be a little more concerned with how people love instead of how they have sex.