Dating as A Transgender

Many people have talked about this subject, and I have decided to hop on the band wagon. Ha ha. No seriously. A lot of people miss the actual important difference when dating someone who is transgender vs dating someone who isnt.

Of course the main difference is simply just the word transgender. Notice I say the word instead of actually “being transgender”. Because like most transgender individuals; we realize that it really boils down to that one word. 

Looking at it this way. A transgender male such as my self; either dating a woman who is transgender or a woman who is not transgender. Simply for example, I may have a preference but I do not discriminate.

Now dating someone who is also transgender means I don’t really have to explain in detail what it means to transition and whatnot because my partner has also experienced some type of transition. 

Of course I know that mtf / ftm are also very different transitional experiences but just grabbing the complete concept of transition from one gender to another is difficult without first hand experience.

Also friends and family are already aware; regardless of personal stance, with the term transgender and you don’t get bombarded with the typical “seeing a transgender up close for the first time” questions like:

  • So what was your name
  • Did you have the surgery
  • Do you have before pictures
  • So how do y’all have sex


Yes, I am very aware that you may still receive questions like this from family and friends of your partner. But usually they have already been briefed on what’s PC and what isn’t. Usually…

Vs dating a one gender woman’s whose family and friends MIGHT be familiar with what it means to be transgender. Even though media wise we aren’t shown in the best light all the time. I mean it is 2018. But apparently some people are still ignorant. Then not only do you risk being exposed to those stupid and sometimes triggering questions but you may face people in your partners circle that are more than just ignorant..  yes I’m talking about the transphobic.

Cause let’s face it. As a transperson most of us will not stand to be associated with someone who is transphobic for obvious reasons. But to a one gendered person those reasons and being associated with someone who is transphobic doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. But it would be a big deal to the partner of course.

Now do we see that this is a topic that doesn’t receive a lot of attention…. But really should…

 Again I am not showing favoritism. So like look at this from another angle. If yours truly is dating a one gender woman there is certain aspects of my body she would have more understanding, and I would have less explaining to do; as far as biology goes. Honestly pre/post/non operation status doesn’t matter; at one time both have share experience in the same sex body. (Hope I said that without offending anyone too much)

That is the only Pro I can’t personally vouch for… My apologies.

There’s always pro’s and cons to every relationship cis/one gender or trans; hetero or homosexual. But put the word “Trans” on something and people always go straight for the genitals; “How do you have sex?” A relationship period is more than just sex. Yup, sex with someone who is trans is definitely different, but sex with a little person would be different too. Let’s be a little more concerned with how people love instead of how they have sex.

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Gendercat*** 3D Floating Testicles aka “Amazeballs” review

Well they’ve done it again over at GenderCat!!!

Of course we we’re all waiting for the STP to be released but floating 3D testicles ain’t half bad.

GenderCat also sometimes referred as GenderMender wowed it’s audience a few months back and released a pleasure / flesh light type of sleeve dual purposed for pleasure and pumping. Debuted publicly at the Vermont Translating Identity Conference. (Fascination Sleeve)

My promo code for a discount on fascination sleeves #ImanSleeve

So this new available add on to the already pretty neat prosthetics you can get at GenderCat still doesn’t cost you an arm and a leg. It doesn’t add an outrageous production wait time. It’s also available on just about any size, texture or color code.

I’ve had my Amazeballs for a little over a month. As always I am “fascinated” and “amazed” with my GenderCat product. I wanted to know more about packing with realistic testicles instead of the play perspective because there’s 24hrs in a day and personally currently I don’t spend not one of them having sex. However I do tend to sit on my ass alot. Ha ha.

The material inside is not a solid but some type of liquor so of course I was nervous because I didn’t want my nuts to bust, break my balls, etc; but after going on 2 month I am pretty sure they will hold up and withstand most.

” I haven’t been kicked in the balls yet “

I also decided to switch from an 6″ prosthetic to a 4″ intact prosthetic. Figured if the balls were different might as well step outside my comfort zone and try something else new.

(Yayyyy, now I get to do a review on the 4″ intact supersoft.)

I will save the jist of that review for a later day but I can say as a small frame guy I prefer 4″ supersoft in the winter.

Back to these amazing floating testicles.. not only does the skin on the sack rolls, pinches and moves naturally but there’s testicles floating around in there. I loved that the testicles were firm yet soft; completely life-like and natural. They even have gotten “lost” once or twice , moving from the lower natural spot at the bottom of my sack to being up close to my body and at the base of my penis.

They move and adjust like a biological scrotum and it’s so much more comfortable to wear especially in tight fitting boxer briefs. I notice without the add on of “Amazeballs” the sack seems whole and lacks the independent movement of each side of the sack. Causing more friction with movement which leads to adjustments and can cause the prosthetic to sit a unnatural way and be uncomfortable and even worse shift out of original placement.

“I still like the standard models, but who doesn’t like an upgrade…. Let’s face it balls are important.”

Again 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 for just about everything; from the product, to the company, to the customer service.

Check out GenderCat’s website here

Or check out some of my GenderCat YouTube reviews for other products like the 6″ Supersoft , Fascination Sleeve stand alone & helpful how to vids on the Self Adhesive Sheets

Don’t forget promo code (#IAmIman) for paid in full orders only !!!!!

Happy packing 

Underwear: GenderCat 
Socks: Hustlers
Photo cred: Kristian King

New DAY’s Resolutions

Yup, cause that’s just how often I’mma f*ck up this year. Not saying I’m planning to fail. Just being realistic; EVERY DAY of the “New Year” will be new and unfamiliar in some way & I’m definitely not perfect. So there’s gonna be times where I fail at life miserably.

But hey that’s why we make resolutions in the first place 

Here’s a short list of things I plan to take a swing at every day of 2018:

  1. Stop apologizing so much
  2. Quiting cigarettes
  3. Focusing on my goals
  4. Prioritizing myself
  5. Smell more flowers
  6. Healthy living habits
  7. Stop letting people mistreat me
  8. Stop letting people use me.
  9. Reach out to more POC
  10. Support black business

    That’s just a very, very small list. 

    But I’m not going to say, New Year; New Me. Rather: “New Year, Same Me, Better Decisions”. A lot of folxs go into a new year expecting for change to come overnight which is just about impossible. You have to first fix your behavior and then your personality will shift. Can’t expect to become a better person when you are not reprimanding your own actions & holding yourself accountable.

    Be Great Everyone

    -Iman

    Dear LGB , T , QAI , etc

    I fight back…

    And we all know my blogs are unfiltered and I will read you your rights.

    But apparently it would seem that my image had gone soft….

    Just because I don’t address everything doesn’t mean I don’t see it or I don’t feel some type of way about it. I practice a lot more self care now and have greatly reduced the amount of stress I put myself through on a daily basis.

    I still see the transphobia, the loss of unity within our community, the judgement, the shade, the hate, the comparison, I see it and it STILL makes me sick. I have just choosen to live more healthy lately.

    Oh but I still see you and ya bullshit.

    I don’t care who you are but I will not tolerate any negative energy, vibes or statements aimed at LGB , T or Q community and it’s individuals. With that being said emphasis on the “I don’t care who you are” ; meaning if you are part of any of the communities mentioned prior and think that because you are “part of the community” you are safe to say whatever hurtful, negative or triggering bullshit you want to those also in the community.

    BECAUSE I WILL CALL YO BITCH ASS OUT!

    ” Iman, what do you mean? “

    I mean exactly what the fuck I said. Cause apparently the last time I blogged about how we should protect and pick each other up in a calm reasonable manner no one listened so nowwwwwwww, now I gotta get ignant 🙄.
    Just because you are a transman don’t mean you can down talk other Tguys on how the choose to transition or what they decided to do with their bodies.

    Just because your gay/lesbian & one gender doesn’t mean you can question transgender people on why they “just didn’t stay gay/straight”

    Just because you’re GNC does not give you the right or reason to misgender and judge those who choose to transition. AND VERS VISE.

    Just because you are a heterosexual transgender individual doesn’t mean it’s ok to speak down or negatively on the trans folxs that identify as bi or pansexual.

    Just because you identify as a lesbian doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to misgender and invalidate transmen.

    Just because you identify as a gay male doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to misgender and invalidate transwomen.

    Transmen. It is NOT ok to disrespect transwomen.

    Transwomen. It is NOT ok to disrespect transmen.

    Just because your are a transwoman it doesn’t make it ok for you to judge other transwomen by the way they choose to transition or live their lives.

    Just because your transgender doesn’t mean you can misgender or judge individuals who identify as GNC or A gender.
    If you don’t know by now I don’t play with all this damn hate and judgement inside our own community walls. I can’t stress enough that we ALL have to face the negativity of cis heteronormative assholes…. Let’s not do this to each other.

    ” Get your shit together people ! “

    Social platform handles

    IG : iman.da.god

    Twitter rants: iman_da_god

    AMOSC: Selfmadekris

    Letter to my exes…

    No , no don’t panic. This is not a petty blog..

    Dear Ex,

    What we had was special. At the time, I’m assuming; maybe not. That was then. This is me now. For whatever reason you didn’t make it to this chapter of my life; but that is neither here nor there now. I came to say that you taught me something. Wether it was a painful lesson or a bittersweet memory. No, you did not make me who I am today but you are forever part of my past. Something that can never be erased only learned from. However the promises I may have made, promises that I intended to keep; are no more. The past is the past for a reason. Irregardless to the facts and circumstances that lead you to becoming an Ex, I am grateful for all the learning experiences. And I am overjoyed to tell you that I am not the broken person you once knew… 

    -I am Iman

    I am a sensitive little b*tch..

    No seriously…

    Since I’ve transitioned and started living my truth I’ve allowed myself to really become in tune with my emotions and my feelings. Either that or I transformed into a sensitive little bitch 🙄😂

    Being that I honestly don’t give a shit about what anybody thinks and having self awareness. Yes, I am more sensitive since I’ve transitioned.

    It came on gradually after the initial breakdown my very first time in therapy but over time I noticed the shift little by little. I still have my dark humor but certain commercials or scenarios on TV had my eye all swelly and watery. And I don’t mean those deep ASPCA commercials with Sarah McLachlan singing in the background with close ups of helpless abused animals. But regular paper towel kid helps dad clean up mess , gives big hug and BOOM !; here come the water works. Then it got to the point where I would randomly think of a happy memory give a little chuckle and all of a sudden I have happy tears on my sleeve. When people tell me something that a normal person would just go “aww” and go about their day I’m clairvoyantly in a pile of empathetic borrowed emotions on the floor.

    Not once was I like “Men Don’t Cry.”

    But I applauded myself for letting my guards down and for once in my adult life truely allowing myself to feel. Feel everything. Not just happy and sad but a wide range of emotions.

    So eh, if I’m a sensitive little bitch so be it …

    90 days in Dryden.

    It seems like so much longer than that…

    Only because I’ve done so much since September. Several trips to NYC, a few trips to Philly, a road trip to Vermont & solemn return home. Conferences, marches, birthdays, funerals, vacations, just becauses. My travels over the last 3 months were strenuous, interesting, enjoyable and even heartbreaking.

    I’ve had ups and downs. Ha ha’s and oh shit’s. But still the end of 2017 was better than the beginning of it and for that I am totally grateful. 

    My 360 wave journey has been a rough one but as it should be I hate dealing with my hair. I wanted to get a little more in shape and bulk up a little but… holidays 🤦. In good news in these few months I’ve got to try something amazing products and I can’t wait to see what type of Christmas goodies I get.

    I didn’t think I would like this small village… Jury is still out, but I don’t hate it.

    Here’s to new beginnings 💯💯

    Steven Romeo ** Solidarity Soaps & Candles

    A small natural & essential oils, all handmade soap and candle business located in Nashville, Tennessee.

    Mr. Romeo partnered with Mr Aydian Dowling, president of the Point of Pride organization and donated 50% of sales on select soaps and candles.

    Now about his awesome product…

    I got the transpride flag color 4oz candle, naturally. I’m still on the first layer (pink), I burn it a few hours each day. I’m a VERY heavy smoker and the candle neutralizes the smoke very well.

    There’s not a whole lot of things I can say about this product… It’s a candle 🕯️😎🤘. I am very pleased with it. 

    But the owner Steven is good with customer service and his team even included a handwritten thank you note with my order, which was a nice personal touch. I was slightly worried about it breaking in the mail but it was packaged great and made it to me in 2-5 business day in one piece.

    Definitely pick me up another candle in the future and maybe try my luck at a bar of soap.

    iAMi **FTM Beard Shop

    Before I even talk about this product I have to say I loved loved loved it!!!!

    So I opted for the full beard kit. Which includes beard shampoo & conditioner, beard butter & oil. I choose the beard kit because I’m over excited to graduate from baby beard & everything looks so awesome I couldn’t just try one product.

    All of his products are homemade with natural oils & products. Plus he also offers several different style tshirts and even has transpride socks.

    Package arrived within 2-3 business days if I’m not mistaken it was over the Thanksgiving break for me so I was out of town. But the owner did contact me to see if I had received my order. He was also in touch through my order to answer any questions I had.

    When I got my beard kit everything smelled so natural and herbal & everything was clearly and cooly labeled I could barely wait to try it. 

    The beard wash I ordered came in a small deodarant like container which was awesome to me so I didn’t have to worry about getting my beard so dirty since… Ya know.. I put it on my face. The natural ingredients had my face and baby beard all tingly suds well and it left my face squeaky clean.

    The container needs a gentle shake as some of the oil settles during shipping but again it feels great and it leaves my face and facial hair feeling soft after letting it set for a few minutes as per instructions in the kit.

    I use the beard butter before I go to sleep. I noticed after the first few days my baby goatee wasn’t dry or itchy even after a touch up at the barber. Also I felt as if my hair had became healthy and stronger.

    I use the beard oil in the mornings or when I’m going to be out and about. Not really a particular reason other than it has a stronger smell than the butter and because I don’t want to wear oil to bed.

    Its only been 2 weeks but I definitely give this product 🌟 🌟 🌟🌟🌟. From the time of order to delivery and even after when I had a few follow up questions I received excellent service and I can’t wait till my next purchase.

    Buy yours beard kit and a ton of other products here:  

    https://www.etsy.com/shop/iAMiBeardAndBodyShop
    And don’t forget to use my official promo code #iamiman

    Let’s talk How do you feel about living stealth* #WhatsUpIman

    First off, too each their own😇✌️…

    And I’ve said this multiple times., Personally I am DADT (don’t ask don’t tell). 

    I also understand when people live stealth for certain reasons like safety or comfort. Just like those who choose to live unapologetically out loud like advocates.

    Same as those who choose to go through legal transition, therapy & SRS; you do and live how best suits your needs and what is important to you.

    So I can say that this is going to be a lengthy blog because this is more of an opinion than actual facts.

    “…Because there is no way that you can fuck up every day living so bad that you might die.”

    However I will say this… Eventually,now that I’m older and “cis passing” way more than the first time I blogged about this subject; I can see me living more out loud then DADT. I have taken this into consideration not only with my recent career change which puts my face out there more than before in the queer community but also because I CAN live my truth. I’ve never been one to rub my trans status it someone said face or always bringing it up in conversation outside of context. But I am fortunate enough that I can live my truth safely and comfortablely. Which not alot of trans and queer people can say. Those that can seem to forget that someone’s , guilty as charge. So I do see myself living a little more outloud in the future 😎

    -Iman