Anonymous, anonymously.

Peace & love everyone and welcome back to your scheduled programming.

Trying something new today.
An anonymous young transman asked me what were the do’s & don’ts of courting, dating etc, a transwoman.
So this made me think; why not blog about this topic, because I dont see as much real life advice on transcouples from either spectrum as I would like.

Now before I even get started…
For those of you who don’t know me, I want to make it perfectly clear these are just my opinions and some lack first hand experience.
And in no way am I saying that dating a transwoman is different than dating a onegender woman, because in the end they are both women.
However being transgender (mtf or ftm) comes with trials that a onegender person might have a hard time fully understanding. Also not saying that is a pro or a con.

On a personal level I havent a had an sexual relationship with a transwoman so I cant speak on that aspect of the question from personal experience.
But as a transgender identifying individual I would suggest always asking when in doubt because you never know what a specific person finds triggering.

I have been intimate before. Like in personal space, touchy kinda way. Meaning I’ve cuddled, spooned and occasionally groped. Again, if you dont how (or even if) a person likes their gentials to be touched or referred to, just ask.
“The more you know!”

Every woman is different. Just show her the same love & affection you would want in return.

But for the stuff the I can only imagine to be general since I havent really “been around” and dont want to generalize all women from a handful of my experiences.

Again my opinions & views..

Just like anyone in transistion there are level to this ish. Some women are at different stages, some take different paths etc.
Hopefully you arent just planning on jumping into bed with this woman before you get to know her.(but if you’re in to that cool im not here to judge) Small conversations getting to know her is always helpful & most women disclose the specs earlier on.

Realize this fellaz, just like we go through our struggle; peach fuzz days, painful long binding days, days were you’re just not feeling your skin suit, these beautiful ladies go through things too. Just be mindful of that.

I thought about puttin a list up to kind of compare and contrast but i refuse to put a trigger warning on my blog.. Ugh.

Annnnnd try not to get triggered….GO!!

Guys like us sometimes have issues with growing a thick “passable” beards, blame genetics.
/
*Girls like us sometimes have issues with hair bumps & cannot close shave everyday

Guys like us sometimes still have a menstrual cycle, in can be embarrassing especially around a partner.
/
*Girls like us sometimes have morning erections time to time, it can be embarrassing especially around a partner.

Binding for too long can be painful for guys like us, sometimes performing certain upper body movements hurts
/
*Tucking for too long can be painful for girls like us, sometimes sitting a certain way hurts.

(short list)
([*] these statements are not quoted from any transwoman & are simply educated assumptions)

Like I said I personal cant give much detailed advice. But just treat her as you would want be treated.

Love is love.
Social media handles
IG: k.king_ledgendary
SC: Selfmadekris
YT: Mr Iman King

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Here’s the stitch, society has gotten to me…

More??? Yes. Much, much more.

So a few days ago I was hanging out with a very close friend. Long story short, she ended up having a few errands to run. And what better way to travel than *Lyft.

This was in my hometown of new orleans around 1800hrs after fall daylight savings time.. So fair enough to say it was already pretty dark when we left her house.

We leave out the door and begin to walk to the road because the house sits back from the sidewalk quite a ways away. She timed it so by the time we reached the street the driver would be pulling up. Instead of them arriving at our location & then us walking out her front door.

The walk from the door to the street isn’t the most well lit or with the clearest visability to see who is approaching.

I dont ride in uber or lyft that often but I am aware through small experiences that if you are not in sight when they arrive they will pull off. I can understand that, thats basically any paid ride. Snooze you lose.

But halfway through the front yard she tell me to take my hood off. (im wearing all black) She had a point and considering the time amerikkka is in it was very much valid. I took my hood down but the whole ride I couldnt let go of the feeling. The feeling that my life could possibly be in danger should I choose to go out at night in all black with a hoodie on.

I supposed it lingered because not even 2 weeks ago I had a similar experience with my mom. Again it was dark outside but actually not that late, maybe 6 or 7 o’clock.

We were entering her condominiums (which you cannot enter with out a physical key) and I had on my favorite blue jeans and dark grey jean vest. My jean vest has a removal black hood. Of course I have the hood on. Why not, I havent done anything wrong & I’m not hiding from anyone.

Halfway up the second flight of stairs leading into her apartment she says “boy you gone get in trouble with that hood on like that.” I immediately took it down. Even though beside all the circumstances that would keep someone who isn’t supposed to be on the property out. She had told me prior that there is at least 3 NOPD officers that stay in the building.

I remember when I was younger; playing outside or going somewhere after dark. The reason that was instilled in me not to wear dark colors at night was because cars would have a difficult time seeing me, should I happen to be playing in the street. Not because I would “fit a description of a ‘suspect'”. Simply for the obvious, dark colors are hard to see at night.

Then I think to the times my mother would tell me take my hood down. As far as I can remember it was only when I entered someones home or establishment. Still not because I “look like a ‘thug'” but for the same reason you remove your hat in the presence of a lady or walkin into someone’s house, church or business.

Then recently in a greyhound terminal I felt several eyes on me constantly. When I paid attention, I notice it was more than just a “feeling”.
I brushed it off and figured it was because I was dead leg walking from being cramped up on a bus for 10hrs.
After leaving out the restroom & finding me a seat to wait out the layover I notice a sign on the wall: “No hoods on inside the terminal.”

I removed my hood because I really wasn’t in the mood to be reprimanded like a child for not following simple (but dumb) rules. What caught my attention is when I later got up to go to the water fountain all of the stares were gone.

Has amerikkka really become that much of a pussy that a MOC wearing a black hoodie with the hood up in a public place is such dangerous thing??

What bothers me the most is not that the general public feels some type of way; but that should I come in contact with a police officer as a black man in a hoodie my life could be in danger. And if I was shot down by an officer of the law they would get paid suspension and I will just be another injustice & a another black man on a R.I.P. shirt.

Its actually been this way for quite some time now but only recently has it actually struck fear in my heart. Not because my life could be unjustly taken from me by someone who swore an oath to protect and serve but because my murderer would more than likely face no consequences.

I will still walk with pride no matter what I’m wearing; I’m just not gunhoe about dieing when I have committed no crimes.

But this is the amerikkka we live in…

Stay safe my people of color; fight, but dont lose your life.

Today I saw an angel…

 

👼
She was beautiful,
She was kind.
And on her face,
Was a gentle smile.

I couldn’t help but notice,
I could barely control it.
Praying,
Wishing,
Hoping..

That one day she’d be mine.

She took me on a journey,
To a place I’ve never been.
And tomorrow,
We’ll do it again.

The lights,
The sounds,
I’ll remember it all.
The world seemed to stall.

Everything else,
Seemed to fade away.
The only part that hurt,
Was the end of the day.

But still I smile,
She’d be back in a while.
Waiting,
Waiting.

For my angel to return,
The one with the brown eyes….

By: Kristian King

*Dedicated

One long bus ride pt. 5

The last and finally stretch… I have just under an hour until I reach New York.

This has legit been the longest aggyiest uncomfortable bus ride of my 25 years. I will be freakin ecstatic when its all over.

I havent been this hungry in a while. And I hope to never feel this stomach pain from malnutrition ever again. 😢

Now that Im just about in arms reach of the door to my future… Im nervous as hell.
See on the bus, I have a destination, a goal. Once I step foot in New York I have no idea what my next step is. But I’m going to keep putting one foot in front of the other & keep my eyes focused on my goal.

Oh, whats my goal you ask?…

For now, just to be better than I was yesterday.

Thanks for reading & be on the look out for the video footage mash up “On the road”

YT: Mr Iman King

One long bus ride pt. 4

Second to last pit stop…

I finally got some sleep on this long ass bus ride; somewhere between VA & NC I think. From 4 to about 8am.
No more long layovers thank Jah.

I didnt do much personal thinking this stretch of highway because someone important needed my attention. Homestly all I can think about is food now anyways. I strongly advise anyone taking a 26hr+ bus or train right stock zoozoos properly. I dont know how I burned calories & energy by simply sitting on a bus.

I think I’ll take a nap until the finally pit stop.. 6 more hours to go.

I dont think I’ve ever been this nervous & anxious in my life…

Social sites
IG: k.king_legendary
SC: selfmadekris
YT: Mr Iman King
TW: kristianimankin

One long bus ride pt. 3

Finally….

That 3hr layover in Atlanta nearly killed me ugh. But finally back on this highway, this is one long ass bus ride.

Having some time to think to myself
(ignoring the social media stalking from a VERY bitter ex wife) I had an epiphany. Before transitioning I really wasnt torn about my gender or sexuality. Now that I have learned the dynamics & aspects of society & its ridiculous cis gender binary I realize that I might be more fluid than I thought at first.

I know I gender wise fit the male spectrum ( I refuse to use the term “umbrella” , i hate it). I use male pronouns & I embrace my male privilege. But again, going back to compare to the gender binary. There is some “discrepancies”. Jajaja
I do have more feminine tendencies; such as talking with my hands, softer walk, fluctuation & inflection when I speak and I overall do have certaint flamboyant (also dislike using that word in this context) or “gay” personality. I dont force myself to completely to fit into the male spectrum & I embrace all my characteristics wether they are masc or femme.

Coming to terms with the fact that I do have femme qualities I started to really embrace and find myself. I dropped the whole heterosexual male act and really did some soul searching.  My gender identity doest change; I am a male. However my gender personality is somewhat fluid. Sometimes Im in a masc space and attitude & sometimes I’m in a more femme mood. My gender itself is always and will always be male. Couldnt change that if I wanted do. (Clearly after 20+ years of crossdressing haha)

As far as embrancing my pansexuality I realize that I am more sexually attracted to femininity. Not necessarily female bodied individuals. So that of course takes me out the category heterosexuality, because I could be sexually attracted to a male bodied/masc person that gives femininity.
Embracing even further I find myself to be more completely attracted to people and not gender or femme or masc. So that also could leave a door open to be somewhat sexually attracted to a masc/male bodied indiviual that shows no feminity what so ever. If I first find attraction with them as a person.

Hmm so yup yup…

Guess i did learn somethin about myself on this long ass bus ride haha

One long bus ride pt. 2

Made it to my first pit stop in Mobile, AL with a layover of an hour…

A small pit stop compared to all the ones I will take over the course of the next day & a half. Bummed that I misplaced my ipod charger so vloggin is going to be crappy quality but I’m still vloggin anyways ha ha.

Doing alot of thinking on this bus ride & in these terminals, hopefully soon ill have some type of break through because this crook in my neck is blowing it.

One long bus ride pt. 1

So I am currently on a speeding greyhound with just under 26hrs till I reach my destination. I figure wen why not tap into my mind and find my thoughts on this day long bus ride.

My current feeling would be a total concoction of emotions; so I rather not frustrate myself by trying to put it into words. Just know Im all over the place, but in a good way ja ja ja.

For once I have made a decision all by myself. Yes 25 years of life and I can count on one hand how many choices or decisions I’ve made completely on my own. Being transparent, with my readers; the most recent one prior to this was my choice to transistion from one gender to another.

Yea, I’ve been slacking in the “Me” department, hence this soul searching journey….

I feel invigorated and powerful, yea its been a looong time…

Dont go no where!!!..
Ill be here for the next 24hrs..
Ha Ha

New Beginnings

In less than 4 days I will (yet again) be leaving my hometown of New Orleans and venture off to another part of the US.

This chapter will begin this Saturday afternoon when I touch down in New York City. Focusing on my transition into successful manhood. During this time I will explore my many talents that have been dormant and suffocated for so long. Hopefully finding new skills as well.
I will be blogging as well as now vlogging alot more frequently and look forward to continuously having some kind of current update.

IG: k.king_legendary
SC: selfmadekris
YT: mrimanking

The Secret to MY Facial Hair

In honor of no shave november, today I will be ironic and blog about my facial routine.

Personally I feel like shaving CAN help facial hair grow. I’m not saying it does & I’m not saying it doesnt. However I DONT think it has any negative side effects.
For me, personally; shaving ALONG with my facial hygiene routine did help my facial hair grow.
If you know me then you know I have had problems in the past with schedule keeping so technically the routine I am about to explain is more of an outline than a exact dialogue. Ha ha. Bare with me.

1.) Wash your face
2.) Rinse your face
3.) Moisturize your face

**Not kidding folks all of those steps are important. Don’t skip any!

Going through my first puberty (more of a small growth hiccup) I was lucky enough to not have acne problems. Unfortunately I also had “not so great” facial hygiene. Since my face didnt require that extra attention as a result of acne.. I didnt pay it any attention at all.
Fast fowarding to a few years ago when I began my transistion & went through my 2 puberty. I would exactly call it acne, but my face definitely went through something. I’m assuming it was because of new peach fuzz poppin through un-used hair follicles, sweating more profusely & small changes in everyday activities.

So now I have to like wash my face everyday… Ugh
(just kidding, kinda)

After growing tired of popping pimples on my jawline & putting toothpaste on my cheeks; I started taking exquisite care of my face.
Washing your face in the shower every day is a duh, right? Yeah, but somehow I still managed to jack that up.
So my routine now is to have a separate towel for my face with a 3 day max use. I only wash my face with gold dial antibiotic bar soap or the white dove sensitive skin bar soap. I save the smell good soap for my body.

Next is a step that I used to half-a** all the time.
RINSE!
I rinse my face until its squeaky clean, literally. And usually once more after. No matter how “skin friendly” a soap says it is, not properly rinsing can clog your pores and cause a pimple outbreak.
Also,(here’s the part where its mostly an outline) I wash my face once when I get out of bed and once before laying down for bed. Not sure about the statistics or fun facts behind this, It just makes my face feel cleaner.
Do NOT OVER moisturize your face! That puts you back at square one, with an oily dirty face covered in gunk thats just not supposed to be there. Drying your face out can also be a con. But personally I rather be a little ashy than greasy.
Im not going to tell you what I use, (no one pays me for advertising, yet) but just listen to your body and try not to constantly over or under do it.

And that is how I finally learned how to properly wash my face at age 22.
Again, I am not a scientist nor do I have scientic proof for the following statement. This is my personal opinions and results.

When I started to feel blue about being “beardless”, I took it upon myself to be proactive and started to try and grow a legit beard.
Now when I say proactively grow a beard a mean I adopted the habit as if I had patchy stubble, instead of just sporadic peach fuzz.

I started shaving my (imaginary) beard every 2 to 4 days. Sometimes clean, but mostly trying different styles. Always using a sharp razor, shaving cream & after shave. Even faithfully brushing my beard & carrying my brush almost 100% of the time.
Occasionally doing smaller things I read online; like daily 10-15min facial massages, eating foods that promotes healthy skin and hair & home made mixture that stimulate hair follicles.

It took a while, but eventually I started seeing more facial hair. At first it was barely noticable. The longer and more strict I was with my invented routine the more changes I saw.
In the recent months I started seeing my imaginary beard come to life. Just barely, but its nice to have peach fuzz everywhere you want with connections. Gives me hope for when I shed my down feathers and grow into my big boy beard. Ha ha.

“Patience is key. Finding what individually works for you is the lock. And your beard is the door, open it up.”
NO SHAVE, NOVEMBER

No shave november is more than letting your beard grow, boycotting the barber & letting your inner hippy breathe. November is cancer awarenes month. (as well as transgender, diabetes & men’s health awareness month)
During November if you choose to participate in #NSN let your hair grow wild, free & unkept. This is done for a few different reasons.
To show support and solidarity to all those who have lost the ability to grow hair due to chemotherapy while battling any type of cancer & those that have passed because of it.
To raise awareness about all different types of cancer. If you are normally known to be clean and neat; you will arouse questions when you change to a more of a wild and free look. “Why?” Conversation starter!
To donate all of the money that you would normally spend on hair care products such as hair cuts and styles, razors and shaving accessories, relaxers, perm etc to a cancer charity.

No shave november is mostly known in the male community and is expected to bring thick wild facial hair from stubble to paul bunyan beards. But everyone can participate in #nsn , men, women & everything in between. You dont have to skip a hair cut & you don’t have to have to grow an overnight drake beard. No shave november = cancer awarness. As long as you spreading awarness you are paticipate.

And that my friends.. is the real story behind the misunderstood & misinterpreted #NoShaveNovember

Thanks for stopping by and see you next time 🌎✌
Peace & blessings

IG: k.king_legendary
Tw: kristianimankin
SC: selfmadekris
Yt: Kristian King