The last and finally stretch… I have just under an hour until I reach New York.
This has legit been the longest aggyiest uncomfortable bus ride of my 25 years. I will be freakin ecstatic when its all over.
I havent been this hungry in a while. And I hope to never feel this stomach pain from malnutrition ever again. 😢
Now that Im just about in arms reach of the door to my future… Im nervous as hell.
See on the bus, I have a destination, a goal. Once I step foot in New York I have no idea what my next step is. But I’m going to keep putting one foot in front of the other & keep my eyes focused on my goal.
Oh, whats my goal you ask?…
For now, just to be better than I was yesterday.
Thanks for reading & be on the look out for the video footage mash up “On the road”
YT: Mr Iman King
Second to last pit stop…
I finally got some sleep on this long ass bus ride; somewhere between VA & NC I think. From 4 to about 8am.
No more long layovers thank Jah.
I didnt do much personal thinking this stretch of highway because someone important needed my attention. Homestly all I can think about is food now anyways. I strongly advise anyone taking a 26hr+ bus or train right stock zoozoos properly. I dont know how I burned calories & energy by simply sitting on a bus.
I think I’ll take a nap until the finally pit stop.. 6 more hours to go.
I dont think I’ve ever been this nervous & anxious in my life…
YT: Mr Iman King
That 3hr layover in Atlanta nearly killed me ugh. But finally back on this highway, this is one long ass bus ride.
Having some time to think to myself
(ignoring the social media stalking from a VERY bitter ex wife) I had an epiphany. Before transitioning I really wasnt torn about my gender or sexuality. Now that I have learned the dynamics & aspects of society & its ridiculous cis gender binary I realize that I might be more fluid than I thought at first.
I know I gender wise fit the male spectrum ( I refuse to use the term “umbrella” , i hate it). I use male pronouns & I embrace my male privilege. But again, going back to compare to the gender binary. There is some “discrepancies”. Jajaja
I do have more feminine tendencies; such as talking with my hands, softer walk, fluctuation & inflection when I speak and I overall do have certaint flamboyant (also dislike using that word in this context) or “gay” personality. I dont force myself to completely to fit into the male spectrum & I embrace all my characteristics wether they are masc or femme.
Coming to terms with the fact that I do have femme qualities I started to really embrace and find myself. I dropped the whole heterosexual male act and really did some soul searching. My gender identity doest change; I am a male. However my gender personality is somewhat fluid. Sometimes Im in a masc space and attitude & sometimes I’m in a more femme mood. My gender itself is always and will always be male. Couldnt change that if I wanted do. (Clearly after 20+ years of crossdressing haha)
As far as embrancing my pansexuality I realize that I am more sexually attracted to femininity. Not necessarily female bodied individuals. So that of course takes me out the category heterosexuality, because I could be sexually attracted to a male bodied/masc person that gives femininity.
Embracing even further I find myself to be more completely attracted to people and not gender or femme or masc. So that also could leave a door open to be somewhat sexually attracted to a masc/male bodied indiviual that shows no feminity what so ever. If I first find attraction with them as a person.
Hmm so yup yup…
Guess i did learn somethin about myself on this long ass bus ride haha
Made it to my first pit stop in Mobile, AL with a layover of an hour…
A small pit stop compared to all the ones I will take over the course of the next day & a half. Bummed that I misplaced my ipod charger so vloggin is going to be crappy quality but I’m still vloggin anyways ha ha.
Doing alot of thinking on this bus ride & in these terminals, hopefully soon ill have some type of break through because this crook in my neck is blowing it.
So I am currently on a speeding greyhound with just under 26hrs till I reach my destination. I figure wen why not tap into my mind and find my thoughts on this day long bus ride.
My current feeling would be a total concoction of emotions; so I rather not frustrate myself by trying to put it into words. Just know Im all over the place, but in a good way ja ja ja.
For once I have made a decision all by myself. Yes 25 years of life and I can count on one hand how many choices or decisions I’ve made completely on my own. Being transparent, with my readers; the most recent one prior to this was my choice to transistion from one gender to another.
Yea, I’ve been slacking in the “Me” department, hence this soul searching journey….
I feel invigorated and powerful, yea its been a looong time…
Dont go no where!!!..
Ill be here for the next 24hrs..