Dating as A Transgender

Many people have talked about this subject, and I have decided to hop on the band wagon. Ha ha. No seriously. A lot of people miss the actual important difference when dating someone who is transgender vs dating someone who isnt.

Of course the main difference is simply just the word transgender. Notice I say the word instead of actually “being transgender”. Because like most transgender individuals; we realize that it really boils down to that one word. 

Looking at it this way. A transgender male such as my self; either dating a woman who is transgender or a woman who is not transgender. Simply for example, I may have a preference but I do not discriminate.

Now dating someone who is also transgender means I don’t really have to explain in detail what it means to transition and whatnot because my partner has also experienced some type of transition. 

Of course I know that mtf / ftm are also very different transitional experiences but just grabbing the complete concept of transition from one gender to another is difficult without first hand experience.

Also friends and family are already aware; regardless of personal stance, with the term transgender and you don’t get bombarded with the typical “seeing a transgender up close for the first time” questions like:

  • So what was your name
  • Did you have the surgery
  • Do you have before pictures
  • So how do y’all have sex


Yes, I am very aware that you may still receive questions like this from family and friends of your partner. But usually they have already been briefed on what’s PC and what isn’t. Usually…

Vs dating a one gender woman’s whose family and friends MIGHT be familiar with what it means to be transgender. Even though media wise we aren’t shown in the best light all the time. I mean it is 2018. But apparently some people are still ignorant. Then not only do you risk being exposed to those stupid and sometimes triggering questions but you may face people in your partners circle that are more than just ignorant..  yes I’m talking about the transphobic.

Cause let’s face it. As a transperson most of us will not stand to be associated with someone who is transphobic for obvious reasons. But to a one gendered person those reasons and being associated with someone who is transphobic doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. But it would be a big deal to the partner of course.

Now do we see that this is a topic that doesn’t receive a lot of attention…. But really should…

 Again I am not showing favoritism. So like look at this from another angle. If yours truly is dating a one gender woman there is certain aspects of my body she would have more understanding, and I would have less explaining to do; as far as biology goes. Honestly pre/post/non operation status doesn’t matter; at one time both have share experience in the same sex body. (Hope I said that without offending anyone too much)

That is the only Pro I can’t personally vouch for… My apologies.

There’s always pro’s and cons to every relationship cis/one gender or trans; hetero or homosexual. But put the word “Trans” on something and people always go straight for the genitals; “How do you have sex?” A relationship period is more than just sex. Yup, sex with someone who is trans is definitely different, but sex with a little person would be different too. Let’s be a little more concerned with how people love instead of how they have sex.

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Konfidence is Beauty **Mink lashes

Sooooooo yea..

The lashes, I’m sorry; MINK lashes, were not for me of course 🀦…

However, I was blown away by the customer service πŸ’―. So why not spread the word. Just cause I didn’t use the product personally doesn’t mean I can’t give a review. People do it all the time on Yelp.

So anyways 

The owner Ji’hana was simply the best πŸ’―. I know just about nothing about lashes minus the fact they grow on my face. I wanted the gift to be a surprise but I also didn’t want to be the boyfriend that doesn’t pay attention to his girlfriend enough to know what kind of lashes she likes. What I’m saying is I wasn’t the average or the easiest customer but she made me Konfident in my order and that my girlfriend was going to love her gift.

Even with the holiday jams at the post office it still made it’s way to me before Christmas and I was super excited for my girlfriend to open her gift. I don’t remember the exact amount of days between order, confirmation, shipping and arrival but the whole process wasn’t more than 3 weeks.

My girl loved her lashes and she was so excited she didn’t even wait till Christmas. 🀦.

I know I don’t really have much to “review” but I love the way the look and I know she likes them so that’s all that matters. But what I can say about these high quality MINK lashes is they don’t look like those gross big black caterpillars back home after a few wears πŸ˜‚.

She tries to keep them in the original case when she isn’t wearing them since the case is cute and would keep them in good condition and she won’t have to always ask me where her lashes are. Key word here being “tries”.

Fellas I definitely suggest you get ya girl a pair of two, she’ll love them and you won’t regret it.

Ladies, you see the pics enough said but guess what she also sells all types of quality hair as well as doing individual MINK lash AND bundle installations. 

My girlfriend had this to say:

“I love the lashes they feel so nice, very full, they give me such a wonderful effect on my eyes and I most definitely will recommend them to my friends”

Ya girl Ji’hana is a beast make sure to go check out her website 
https://www.konfidenceisbeauty.com/

Dear LGB , T , QAI , etc

I fight back…

And we all know my blogs are unfiltered and I will read you your rights.

But apparently it would seem that my image had gone soft….

Just because I don’t address everything doesn’t mean I don’t see it or I don’t feel some type of way about it. I practice a lot more self care now and have greatly reduced the amount of stress I put myself through on a daily basis.

I still see the transphobia, the loss of unity within our community, the judgement, the shade, the hate, the comparison, I see it and it STILL makes me sick. I have just choosen to live more healthy lately.

Oh but I still see you and ya bullshit.

I don’t care who you are but I will not tolerate any negative energy, vibes or statements aimed at LGB , T or Q community and it’s individuals. With that being said emphasis on the “I don’t care who you are” ; meaning if you are part of any of the communities mentioned prior and think that because you are “part of the community” you are safe to say whatever hurtful, negative or triggering bullshit you want to those also in the community.

BECAUSE I WILL CALL YO BITCH ASS OUT!

” Iman, what do you mean? “

I mean exactly what the fuck I said. Cause apparently the last time I blogged about how we should protect and pick each other up in a calm reasonable manner no one listened so nowwwwwwww, now I gotta get ignant πŸ™„.
Just because you are a transman don’t mean you can down talk other Tguys on how the choose to transition or what they decided to do with their bodies.

Just because your gay/lesbian & one gender doesn’t mean you can question transgender people on why they “just didn’t stay gay/straight”

Just because you’re GNC does not give you the right or reason to misgender and judge those who choose to transition. AND VERS VISE.

Just because you are a heterosexual transgender individual doesn’t mean it’s ok to speak down or negatively on the trans folxs that identify as bi or pansexual.

Just because you identify as a lesbian doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to misgender and invalidate transmen.

Just because you identify as a gay male doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to misgender and invalidate transwomen.

Transmen. It is NOT ok to disrespect transwomen.

Transwomen. It is NOT ok to disrespect transmen.

Just because your are a transwoman it doesn’t make it ok for you to judge other transwomen by the way they choose to transition or live their lives.

Just because your transgender doesn’t mean you can misgender or judge individuals who identify as GNC or A gender.
If you don’t know by now I don’t play with all this damn hate and judgement inside our own community walls. I can’t stress enough that we ALL have to face the negativity of cis heteronormative assholes…. Let’s not do this to each other.

” Get your shit together people ! “

Social platform handles

IG : iman.da.god

Twitter rants: iman_da_god

AMOSC: Selfmadekris

Letter to my exes…

No , no don’t panic. This is not a petty blog..

Dear Ex,

What we had was special. At the time, I’m assuming; maybe not. That was then. This is me now. For whatever reason you didn’t make it to this chapter of my life; but that is neither here nor there now. I came to say that you taught me something. Wether it was a painful lesson or a bittersweet memory. No, you did not make me who I am today but you are forever part of my past. Something that can never be erased only learned from. However the promises I may have made, promises that I intended to keep; are no more. The past is the past for a reason. Irregardless to the facts and circumstances that lead you to becoming an Ex, I am grateful for all the learning experiences. And I am overjoyed to tell you that I am not the broken person you once knew… 

-I am Iman

Let’s talk How do you feel about living stealth* #WhatsUpIman

First off, too each their ownπŸ˜‡βœŒοΈ…

And I’ve said this multiple times., Personally I am DADT (don’t ask don’t tell). 

I also understand when people live stealth for certain reasons like safety or comfort. Just like those who choose to live unapologetically out loud like advocates.

Same as those who choose to go through legal transition, therapy & SRS; you do and live how best suits your needs and what is important to you.

So I can say that this is going to be a lengthy blog because this is more of an opinion than actual facts.

“…Because there is no way that you can fuck up every day living so bad that you might die.”

However I will say this… Eventually,now that I’m older and “cis passing” way more than the first time I blogged about this subject; I can see me living more out loud then DADT. I have taken this into consideration not only with my recent career change which puts my face out there more than before in the queer community but also because I CAN live my truth. I’ve never been one to rub my trans status it someone said face or always bringing it up in conversation outside of context. But I am fortunate enough that I can live my truth safely and comfortablely. Which not alot of trans and queer people can say. Those that can seem to forget that someone’s , guilty as charge. So I do see myself living a little more outloud in the future 😎

-Iman

πŸ’FAN APPRECIATION GIVE AWAYS !!!

Hey readers, welcome back !!
Today I am here to talk about the FAN APPRECIATION GIVE AWAYS I will be doing every weekend for the month November !!!

I am hosting this via my YouTube channel in celebration and gratitude of all the love and support I have received from my fans since my channel debuted back in late August. 

Here’s my most recent video in case you might have missed it:

I wasn’t expecting the amount of people I would reach & would actually be interested and definitely never would have thought I would have this much support and such awesome fans.

600+ views & 60+ subscribers !!!!

You all are awesome and I appreciate everyone πŸ˜ŠπŸ€—πŸ’.

Soooo… to show my appreciation I am giving a #IAmIman T-shirt (with my cool new custom made logo) to an awesome fan once a week, every week in November.

To enter into the give away all you have to do is share the official trailer of my YouTube channel 

Click here: … https://youtu.be/ANbg_-Gbr8c … to be brought to the trailer

Multiple entries are allowed with a maximum daily entree of three(3).

You can share the video on many different social platforms, even ones I am not currently on.

I am trying to make these giveaways as simple and user friendly as possible while making in accessible to my fans on every social site. However this is my first give away so please continue to bare with me.

Here is a few ways to share the trailer

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/imanking

I will try my best to keep in towards the top of my timeline so you can easily find it. Simply find the public status advertising “FAN APPRECIATION GIVE AWAYS” click share , write post, and then tag my facebook account Iman King.

Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/iman_da_god

Probably the easiest way to share and enter the give away. Retweet my current pinned tweet for an entree. Retweet the retweet for multiple entrees. Too bad nobody is on Twitter these days 🀣

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iman.da.god

Not as simple as Facebook but definitely easy to share and tag. Screenshot the photo of the screenshot of the Facebook status advertising about the “FAN APPRECIATION GIVE AWAYS” (sounds complicated, but it’s not) and post it on your Instagram page. Make sure to tag me or use the hashtag #IamIman. **Remember if your page is private I won’t receive the tag or be able to search the hash tag.

Snapchat – AMOSC: selfmadekris

This may be the most complicated way to enter, but I don’t want to leave my Snapchat fans out. So you can screenshot any advertising from any social platforms (Snapchat included) and post on your story, then take a screenshot of your story and snapchat it to me 

And of course to my readers…. You basically have all of those options to choose from.

Any screenshot of sharing the trailer on media sites not mentioned above are still valid but it is only one entree per day. Sorry but this is because I don’t have a way to verify entree on platforms I do not have and I feel like that’s not fair to everyone else.

If you have problems trying to share for a chance to win please let me know on the specific platform you are trying to share and I’ll fix it so it is available. Help me make this run as smooth as possible.

If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to ask.

Good luck everyone 🀞 and thanks again for your support it is greatly appreciated 😊.

-Iman King

Let’s talk RELATIONSHIPS *#What’sUpIman

Hey readers, welcome back; today we a pulling a question out of the #WHATSUPIMAN hat !

So the original question pulled was:

“Are you in a relationship/ Which gender(s) do you date?”

Yup, so some readers who know me personally already know the answer to this question but for those who don’t know.. ..

What’s up Iman !?!

A few years ago at the very beginning of my transition I began to internally question my sexuality since I myself had recently become “the grey area” ;so to speak. At the time I was married to a onegender woman. Which had already made unrelated comments about how she felt about transrelationships & transgender people being interested in the same sex. I had also assumed that I was going to be with that person for the rest of my life so I figure it didn’t really matter what gender I was attracted to, I was already married and off the market.

Yes at the time I was somewhat in denial or just didn’t want to face the fact that I had become curious in relationships not only out of the cisgender heteronormative spectrum but also outside of the homosexual normative (apparently). 

I was always “bicurious” but I quickly realized that being transgender that umbrella in itself didn’t quite fit in the rap sheet…

As my marriage came to an end I was free to explore my sexuality and then I came across the term “pansexual”. Of course I’m not big on labels, but being pansexual seemed about as labeless as I was going to find. Not long after my discovery I started completely living in my truth; not just a transman but a pansexual.

For those who don’t know the definition of pansexual in laymen’s terms: I am attracted to any and all human genders. Male, female, transfemale, transmale, GNC etc.

I am still growing and coming in to myself so there’s is much more to learn about my self and my attractions.

I am currently in a relationship with a transwoman, we have been dating for about 7 months now and I must admit this is the most understanding relationship I have been in since/regarding my transition. I personally find onegender women don’t really get me like transwomen. 

*****

My advice for “dating while trans” , is to first make sure you are comfortable enough with yourself before you try and date anyone regardless of gender. Dating and maintaining a relationship is hard enough. Adding mood swings, dysphoria, searching for validation, surgeries, etc will only add on to the stress of making even the easiest relationship work.

If you are not yet comfortable with yourself, your body or where you are at in your transition how can you expect to be comfortable enough to be with someone else?

If you have any further questions about my sexuality or ftm/mtf relationship feel free to ask & I’ll make sure to cover them in the next episode of #WhatsUpIman .

As always thanks for stopping by.

-Iman

“Excuse me, can you turn your ‘cis’ down? You’re disturbing my ‘genders’.”

Peace & blessings yet again everyone. I know the title is a bit unorthodox so lets jump right in and break it down shall we. Great.
First and foremost let me remind my readers that this a personal blog full of personal ideas and some beliefs. Dont get butt hurt cause its different. πŸ‘Œ

Now then.. This blog is me breaking down genders by prefixes and suffixes; mainly to give depth to why I personally changing my vocabulary.

I am no expert on gender, but I think I can give a pretty good jist of it:

Gender non confirming
An individual that does not necessarily fall under 1 gender; no-gender, agender

Bi-gender
An individual that can fall under 2 or more genders; combine or separate.

Transgender
An individual that has made a transition from one gender to another; male to female, female to male.

Cisgender
An individual that is the same gender assigned from birth until death; one gender.

I never did agree on the “cisgender” term. I personally feel like the term
Onegender would be more suitable. Cisgender are women or men that are born into one gender and stay that way.
Cisgender. Its sounds like “ciscioety” and the “cistem” are trying to make onegender the “normal” gender to be. Like cisgender isn’t even a gender, its just a normal person.
Dont get me wrong I love all my onegender people, my wife is a onegender woman; married to a transgender man.
This is my personal opinion on the whole word, term definiton. It is what is in the dictionary(just dont get one 5-10years old).
So from now on my faithful readers when l say onegender you will understand what l mean.
I have love for all genders of course! After all the genitals dont make gender and gender doesnt make a person.

Thanks again for stopping by, until next time…

As always follow me on social media.
IG: fullyawakedking
Fb: Kristian King
SC: selfmadekris
Tw: kristianimankin
YouTube: Mr Iman King