Dating as A Transgender

Many people have talked about this subject, and I have decided to hop on the band wagon. Ha ha. No seriously. A lot of people miss the actual important difference when dating someone who is transgender vs dating someone who isnt.

Of course the main difference is simply just the word transgender. Notice I say the word instead of actually “being transgender”. Because like most transgender individuals; we realize that it really boils down to that one word. 

Looking at it this way. A transgender male such as my self; either dating a woman who is transgender or a woman who is not transgender. Simply for example, I may have a preference but I do not discriminate.

Now dating someone who is also transgender means I don’t really have to explain in detail what it means to transition and whatnot because my partner has also experienced some type of transition. 

Of course I know that mtf / ftm are also very different transitional experiences but just grabbing the complete concept of transition from one gender to another is difficult without first hand experience.

Also friends and family are already aware; regardless of personal stance, with the term transgender and you don’t get bombarded with the typical “seeing a transgender up close for the first time” questions like:

  • So what was your name
  • Did you have the surgery
  • Do you have before pictures
  • So how do y’all have sex


Yes, I am very aware that you may still receive questions like this from family and friends of your partner. But usually they have already been briefed on what’s PC and what isn’t. Usually…

Vs dating a one gender woman’s whose family and friends MIGHT be familiar with what it means to be transgender. Even though media wise we aren’t shown in the best light all the time. I mean it is 2018. But apparently some people are still ignorant. Then not only do you risk being exposed to those stupid and sometimes triggering questions but you may face people in your partners circle that are more than just ignorant..  yes I’m talking about the transphobic.

Cause let’s face it. As a transperson most of us will not stand to be associated with someone who is transphobic for obvious reasons. But to a one gendered person those reasons and being associated with someone who is transphobic doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. But it would be a big deal to the partner of course.

Now do we see that this is a topic that doesn’t receive a lot of attention…. But really should…

 Again I am not showing favoritism. So like look at this from another angle. If yours truly is dating a one gender woman there is certain aspects of my body she would have more understanding, and I would have less explaining to do; as far as biology goes. Honestly pre/post/non operation status doesn’t matter; at one time both have share experience in the same sex body. (Hope I said that without offending anyone too much)

That is the only Pro I can’t personally vouch for… My apologies.

There’s always pro’s and cons to every relationship cis/one gender or trans; hetero or homosexual. But put the word “Trans” on something and people always go straight for the genitals; “How do you have sex?” A relationship period is more than just sex. Yup, sex with someone who is trans is definitely different, but sex with a little person would be different too. Let’s be a little more concerned with how people love instead of how they have sex.

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Gendercat*** 3D Floating Testicles aka “Amazeballs” review

Well they’ve done it again over at GenderCat!!!

Of course we we’re all waiting for the STP to be released but floating 3D testicles ain’t half bad.

GenderCat also sometimes referred as GenderMender wowed it’s audience a few months back and released a pleasure / flesh light type of sleeve dual purposed for pleasure and pumping. Debuted publicly at the Vermont Translating Identity Conference. (Fascination Sleeve)

My promo code for a discount on fascination sleeves #ImanSleeve

So this new available add on to the already pretty neat prosthetics you can get at GenderCat still doesn’t cost you an arm and a leg. It doesn’t add an outrageous production wait time. It’s also available on just about any size, texture or color code.

I’ve had my Amazeballs for a little over a month. As always I am “fascinated” and “amazed” with my GenderCat product. I wanted to know more about packing with realistic testicles instead of the play perspective because there’s 24hrs in a day and personally currently I don’t spend not one of them having sex. However I do tend to sit on my ass alot. Ha ha.

The material inside is not a solid but some type of liquor so of course I was nervous because I didn’t want my nuts to bust, break my balls, etc; but after going on 2 month I am pretty sure they will hold up and withstand most.

” I haven’t been kicked in the balls yet “

I also decided to switch from an 6″ prosthetic to a 4″ intact prosthetic. Figured if the balls were different might as well step outside my comfort zone and try something else new.

(Yayyyy, now I get to do a review on the 4″ intact supersoft.)

I will save the jist of that review for a later day but I can say as a small frame guy I prefer 4″ supersoft in the winter.

Back to these amazing floating testicles.. not only does the skin on the sack rolls, pinches and moves naturally but there’s testicles floating around in there. I loved that the testicles were firm yet soft; completely life-like and natural. They even have gotten “lost” once or twice , moving from the lower natural spot at the bottom of my sack to being up close to my body and at the base of my penis.

They move and adjust like a biological scrotum and it’s so much more comfortable to wear especially in tight fitting boxer briefs. I notice without the add on of “Amazeballs” the sack seems whole and lacks the independent movement of each side of the sack. Causing more friction with movement which leads to adjustments and can cause the prosthetic to sit a unnatural way and be uncomfortable and even worse shift out of original placement.

“I still like the standard models, but who doesn’t like an upgrade…. Let’s face it balls are important.”

Again 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 for just about everything; from the product, to the company, to the customer service.

Check out GenderCat’s website here

Or check out some of my GenderCat YouTube reviews for other products like the 6″ Supersoft , Fascination Sleeve stand alone & helpful how to vids on the Self Adhesive Sheets

Don’t forget promo code (#IAmIman) for paid in full orders only !!!!!

Happy packing 

Underwear: GenderCat 
Socks: Hustlers
Photo cred: Kristian King

New DAY’s Resolutions

Yup, cause that’s just how often I’mma f*ck up this year. Not saying I’m planning to fail. Just being realistic; EVERY DAY of the “New Year” will be new and unfamiliar in some way & I’m definitely not perfect. So there’s gonna be times where I fail at life miserably.

But hey that’s why we make resolutions in the first place 

Here’s a short list of things I plan to take a swing at every day of 2018:

  1. Stop apologizing so much
  2. Quiting cigarettes
  3. Focusing on my goals
  4. Prioritizing myself
  5. Smell more flowers
  6. Healthy living habits
  7. Stop letting people mistreat me
  8. Stop letting people use me.
  9. Reach out to more POC
  10. Support black business

    That’s just a very, very small list. 

    But I’m not going to say, New Year; New Me. Rather: “New Year, Same Me, Better Decisions”. A lot of folxs go into a new year expecting for change to come overnight which is just about impossible. You have to first fix your behavior and then your personality will shift. Can’t expect to become a better person when you are not reprimanding your own actions & holding yourself accountable.

    Be Great Everyone

    -Iman

    Konfidence is Beauty **Mink lashes

    Sooooooo yea..

    The lashes, I’m sorry; MINK lashes, were not for me of course 🀦…

    However, I was blown away by the customer service πŸ’―. So why not spread the word. Just cause I didn’t use the product personally doesn’t mean I can’t give a review. People do it all the time on Yelp.

    So anyways 

    The owner Ji’hana was simply the best πŸ’―. I know just about nothing about lashes minus the fact they grow on my face. I wanted the gift to be a surprise but I also didn’t want to be the boyfriend that doesn’t pay attention to his girlfriend enough to know what kind of lashes she likes. What I’m saying is I wasn’t the average or the easiest customer but she made me Konfident in my order and that my girlfriend was going to love her gift.

    Even with the holiday jams at the post office it still made it’s way to me before Christmas and I was super excited for my girlfriend to open her gift. I don’t remember the exact amount of days between order, confirmation, shipping and arrival but the whole process wasn’t more than 3 weeks.

    My girl loved her lashes and she was so excited she didn’t even wait till Christmas. 🀦.

    I know I don’t really have much to “review” but I love the way the look and I know she likes them so that’s all that matters. But what I can say about these high quality MINK lashes is they don’t look like those gross big black caterpillars back home after a few wears πŸ˜‚.

    She tries to keep them in the original case when she isn’t wearing them since the case is cute and would keep them in good condition and she won’t have to always ask me where her lashes are. Key word here being “tries”.

    Fellas I definitely suggest you get ya girl a pair of two, she’ll love them and you won’t regret it.

    Ladies, you see the pics enough said but guess what she also sells all types of quality hair as well as doing individual MINK lash AND bundle installations. 

    My girlfriend had this to say:

    “I love the lashes they feel so nice, very full, they give me such a wonderful effect on my eyes and I most definitely will recommend them to my friends”

    Ya girl Ji’hana is a beast make sure to go check out her website 
    https://www.konfidenceisbeauty.com/

    Dear LGB , T , QAI , etc

    I fight back…

    And we all know my blogs are unfiltered and I will read you your rights.

    But apparently it would seem that my image had gone soft….

    Just because I don’t address everything doesn’t mean I don’t see it or I don’t feel some type of way about it. I practice a lot more self care now and have greatly reduced the amount of stress I put myself through on a daily basis.

    I still see the transphobia, the loss of unity within our community, the judgement, the shade, the hate, the comparison, I see it and it STILL makes me sick. I have just choosen to live more healthy lately.

    Oh but I still see you and ya bullshit.

    I don’t care who you are but I will not tolerate any negative energy, vibes or statements aimed at LGB , T or Q community and it’s individuals. With that being said emphasis on the “I don’t care who you are” ; meaning if you are part of any of the communities mentioned prior and think that because you are “part of the community” you are safe to say whatever hurtful, negative or triggering bullshit you want to those also in the community.

    BECAUSE I WILL CALL YO BITCH ASS OUT!

    ” Iman, what do you mean? “

    I mean exactly what the fuck I said. Cause apparently the last time I blogged about how we should protect and pick each other up in a calm reasonable manner no one listened so nowwwwwwww, now I gotta get ignant πŸ™„.
    Just because you are a transman don’t mean you can down talk other Tguys on how the choose to transition or what they decided to do with their bodies.

    Just because your gay/lesbian & one gender doesn’t mean you can question transgender people on why they “just didn’t stay gay/straight”

    Just because you’re GNC does not give you the right or reason to misgender and judge those who choose to transition. AND VERS VISE.

    Just because you are a heterosexual transgender individual doesn’t mean it’s ok to speak down or negatively on the trans folxs that identify as bi or pansexual.

    Just because you identify as a lesbian doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to misgender and invalidate transmen.

    Just because you identify as a gay male doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to misgender and invalidate transwomen.

    Transmen. It is NOT ok to disrespect transwomen.

    Transwomen. It is NOT ok to disrespect transmen.

    Just because your are a transwoman it doesn’t make it ok for you to judge other transwomen by the way they choose to transition or live their lives.

    Just because your transgender doesn’t mean you can misgender or judge individuals who identify as GNC or A gender.
    If you don’t know by now I don’t play with all this damn hate and judgement inside our own community walls. I can’t stress enough that we ALL have to face the negativity of cis heteronormative assholes…. Let’s not do this to each other.

    ” Get your shit together people ! “

    Social platform handles

    IG : iman.da.god

    Twitter rants: iman_da_god

    AMOSC: Selfmadekris

    Β Losing my job a week before Christmas…

    Hey readers, can’t say this blog will be any good news sorry…

    But yes I did lose my job a week before Christmas πŸ˜₯…

    The news totally came as a shock to me. I went through so many emotions in the matter of a few hours. My stress was at an all-time high and my confidence in myself was at a low it hadn’t seen in a while. 12 hours in I found myself still somewhat flabbergasted but had already began the stages of grief. 

    “It really hurts man. I thought I’d be making prosthetics forever.”

    It was hard copping with such a drastic and abrupt change in my everyday life; my way of living. Already having gone through several life altering events and having mental disorders I did what I could to fight off depression and not go down the ugly cold dark road. 

    My termination was not yet public knowledge but due to my line of work I had to somewhat explain to customers why I would no longer be able to help them. That was probably one of the worst things about being fired. 

    About 2 days in I found myself snapping back and on the job hunt again. It was still pretty tough getting out of bed and putting on clothes to go out into the world but it was even tougher looking myself in mirror and thinking about just giving up.

    ” I got fired. A week before Christmas. Through a text message. On my day off. ” , Now tell me that ain’t some shitty type of luck.

    As always though I had some amazing black girl magic to help me pick my self off the ground and keep on pushing. My moms, my sister & of course my girlfriend. My recovery time was way less than alot of the life changing events I had been through in the past. Considering it’s severity I would say it’s a new record. And I owe it all to my support system of women who love me unconditionally.

    So it’s only been a 2 days shy of a week since the whole ordeal and maybe it’s the holidays or just me mature and not being so angry all the time now but I am extremely optimistic about everything Iman.

    Thanks for reading.

    *Special thanks to all those who knew and reached out on more than one occasion to check on me, I really appreciated that πŸ’―

    ” Whose hiring ? “πŸ˜‚

    Letter to my exes…

    No , no don’t panic. This is not a petty blog..

    Dear Ex,

    What we had was special. At the time, I’m assuming; maybe not. That was then. This is me now. For whatever reason you didn’t make it to this chapter of my life; but that is neither here nor there now. I came to say that you taught me something. Wether it was a painful lesson or a bittersweet memory. No, you did not make me who I am today but you are forever part of my past. Something that can never be erased only learned from. However the promises I may have made, promises that I intended to keep; are no more. The past is the past for a reason. Irregardless to the facts and circumstances that lead you to becoming an Ex, I am grateful for all the learning experiences. And I am overjoyed to tell you that I am not the broken person you once knew… 

    -I am Iman

    90 days in Dryden.

    It seems like so much longer than that…

    Only because I’ve done so much since September. Several trips to NYC, a few trips to Philly, a road trip to Vermont & solemn return home. Conferences, marches, birthdays, funerals, vacations, just becauses. My travels over the last 3 months were strenuous, interesting, enjoyable and even heartbreaking.

    I’ve had ups and downs. Ha ha’s and oh shit’s. But still the end of 2017 was better than the beginning of it and for that I am totally grateful. 

    My 360 wave journey has been a rough one but as it should be I hate dealing with my hair. I wanted to get a little more in shape and bulk up a little but… holidays 🀦. In good news in these few months I’ve got to try something amazing products and I can’t wait to see what type of Christmas goodies I get.

    I didn’t think I would like this small village… Jury is still out, but I don’t hate it.

    Here’s to new beginnings πŸ’―πŸ’―

    The secret to my facial hair growth. v2.0

    I’VE DONE IT!!!!!

    I FOUND THE KEY TO GROWING FACIAL HAIR….

    Sorry if you don’t smoke marijuana.. this maybe out of your reach unless you have pothead friends🀘😎

    Yes. The key is weed.

    As we all should know, marijuana has several helpful uses. Treating diseases like cancer. Helping mental disorders like anxiety. Improving appetite and cognitive function.

    A Tbro of mine hipped me to the secret last year… I’m pretty gullible for old wives remedies and natural herbs for ailments. And of course it was always on hand with me 😎 especially at the time.

    “Weed ashes bro.”

    “Weed ashes bro?”

    And that’s how it all began….

    I originally started randomly ashing the blunt in my hand and rubbing on my chin. Didn’t really think too much of it and any new whiskers I came across I chalked it up to being remotely still somewhat in therapy. But as the months progressed and I again found myself weaned out of therapy the gains were still apparent, and still happening. So then I started to put more thought into.

    Fast forwarding to a few months ago when I moved into my apartment (by this time I am convinced the ashes do help stimulate hair growth), from the first blunt I smoked in my house to this very day I have been ashing my blunts,joints, bowls etc into a small container. I knew that I would eventually find a way to combine the ashes with other natural products in hope to create my own beard oil/cream.

    Almost to current time now..

    About 6 weeks ago I ran across a unique concoction of natural oils that help facial hair growth AND that also didn’t smell like ass. So of course now I have to figure out how I was going to mix the ash and the oils & how I planned to apply it to my face.

    4 weeks ago at the beginning of “No Shave November” I said fuck it and just went for it. At this point I have been out of therapy for just about 2 months. Also attended my Aunt’s funeral the first week of November so I was clean shaven to my normal stache and struggling goatee. 

    Soo with all of the variables going in to the month of November compared to the gains documented during December I believe it’s safe to say; “By George! I think he’s got it!”

    So with the confidence that I now I have in all this January will be my official documents of the gains from my “not officially named yet” beard oil. 😎

    Never too old to discover your hidden talent. That’s why its called “hidden” talent.

    -Iman

    iAMi **FTM Beard Shop

    Before I even talk about this product I have to say I loved loved loved it!!!!

    So I opted for the full beard kit. Which includes beard shampoo & conditioner, beard butter & oil. I choose the beard kit because I’m over excited to graduate from baby beard & everything looks so awesome I couldn’t just try one product.

    All of his products are homemade with natural oils & products. Plus he also offers several different style tshirts and even has transpride socks.

    Package arrived within 2-3 business days if I’m not mistaken it was over the Thanksgiving break for me so I was out of town. But the owner did contact me to see if I had received my order. He was also in touch through my order to answer any questions I had.

    When I got my beard kit everything smelled so natural and herbal & everything was clearly and cooly labeled I could barely wait to try it. 

    The beard wash I ordered came in a small deodarant like container which was awesome to me so I didn’t have to worry about getting my beard so dirty since… Ya know.. I put it on my face. The natural ingredients had my face and baby beard all tingly suds well and it left my face squeaky clean.

    The container needs a gentle shake as some of the oil settles during shipping but again it feels great and it leaves my face and facial hair feeling soft after letting it set for a few minutes as per instructions in the kit.

    I use the beard butter before I go to sleep. I noticed after the first few days my baby goatee wasn’t dry or itchy even after a touch up at the barber. Also I felt as if my hair had became healthy and stronger.

    I use the beard oil in the mornings or when I’m going to be out and about. Not really a particular reason other than it has a stronger smell than the butter and because I don’t want to wear oil to bed.

    Its only been 2 weeks but I definitely give this product 🌟 🌟 🌟🌟🌟. From the time of order to delivery and even after when I had a few follow up questions I received excellent service and I can’t wait till my next purchase.

    Buy yours beard kit and a ton of other products here:  

    https://www.etsy.com/shop/iAMiBeardAndBodyShop
    And don’t forget to use my official promo code #iamiman