Dating as A Transgender

Many people have talked about this subject, and I have decided to hop on the band wagon. Ha ha. No seriously. A lot of people miss the actual important difference when dating someone who is transgender vs dating someone who isnt.

Of course the main difference is simply just the word transgender. Notice I say the word instead of actually “being transgender”. Because like most transgender individuals; we realize that it really boils down to that one word. 

Looking at it this way. A transgender male such as my self; either dating a woman who is transgender or a woman who is not transgender. Simply for example, I may have a preference but I do not discriminate.

Now dating someone who is also transgender means I don’t really have to explain in detail what it means to transition and whatnot because my partner has also experienced some type of transition. 

Of course I know that mtf / ftm are also very different transitional experiences but just grabbing the complete concept of transition from one gender to another is difficult without first hand experience.

Also friends and family are already aware; regardless of personal stance, with the term transgender and you don’t get bombarded with the typical “seeing a transgender up close for the first time” questions like:

  • So what was your name
  • Did you have the surgery
  • Do you have before pictures
  • So how do y’all have sex


Yes, I am very aware that you may still receive questions like this from family and friends of your partner. But usually they have already been briefed on what’s PC and what isn’t. Usually…

Vs dating a one gender woman’s whose family and friends MIGHT be familiar with what it means to be transgender. Even though media wise we aren’t shown in the best light all the time. I mean it is 2018. But apparently some people are still ignorant. Then not only do you risk being exposed to those stupid and sometimes triggering questions but you may face people in your partners circle that are more than just ignorant..  yes I’m talking about the transphobic.

Cause let’s face it. As a transperson most of us will not stand to be associated with someone who is transphobic for obvious reasons. But to a one gendered person those reasons and being associated with someone who is transphobic doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. But it would be a big deal to the partner of course.

Now do we see that this is a topic that doesn’t receive a lot of attention…. But really should…

 Again I am not showing favoritism. So like look at this from another angle. If yours truly is dating a one gender woman there is certain aspects of my body she would have more understanding, and I would have less explaining to do; as far as biology goes. Honestly pre/post/non operation status doesn’t matter; at one time both have share experience in the same sex body. (Hope I said that without offending anyone too much)

That is the only Pro I can’t personally vouch for… My apologies.

There’s always pro’s and cons to every relationship cis/one gender or trans; hetero or homosexual. But put the word “Trans” on something and people always go straight for the genitals; “How do you have sex?” A relationship period is more than just sex. Yup, sex with someone who is trans is definitely different, but sex with a little person would be different too. Let’s be a little more concerned with how people love instead of how they have sex.

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Dear LGB , T , QAI , etc

I fight back…

And we all know my blogs are unfiltered and I will read you your rights.

But apparently it would seem that my image had gone soft….

Just because I don’t address everything doesn’t mean I don’t see it or I don’t feel some type of way about it. I practice a lot more self care now and have greatly reduced the amount of stress I put myself through on a daily basis.

I still see the transphobia, the loss of unity within our community, the judgement, the shade, the hate, the comparison, I see it and it STILL makes me sick. I have just choosen to live more healthy lately.

Oh but I still see you and ya bullshit.

I don’t care who you are but I will not tolerate any negative energy, vibes or statements aimed at LGB , T or Q community and it’s individuals. With that being said emphasis on the “I don’t care who you are” ; meaning if you are part of any of the communities mentioned prior and think that because you are “part of the community” you are safe to say whatever hurtful, negative or triggering bullshit you want to those also in the community.

BECAUSE I WILL CALL YO BITCH ASS OUT!

” Iman, what do you mean? “

I mean exactly what the fuck I said. Cause apparently the last time I blogged about how we should protect and pick each other up in a calm reasonable manner no one listened so nowwwwwwww, now I gotta get ignant ๐Ÿ™„.
Just because you are a transman don’t mean you can down talk other Tguys on how the choose to transition or what they decided to do with their bodies.

Just because your gay/lesbian & one gender doesn’t mean you can question transgender people on why they “just didn’t stay gay/straight”

Just because you’re GNC does not give you the right or reason to misgender and judge those who choose to transition. AND VERS VISE.

Just because you are a heterosexual transgender individual doesn’t mean it’s ok to speak down or negatively on the trans folxs that identify as bi or pansexual.

Just because you identify as a lesbian doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to misgender and invalidate transmen.

Just because you identify as a gay male doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to misgender and invalidate transwomen.

Transmen. It is NOT ok to disrespect transwomen.

Transwomen. It is NOT ok to disrespect transmen.

Just because your are a transwoman it doesn’t make it ok for you to judge other transwomen by the way they choose to transition or live their lives.

Just because your transgender doesn’t mean you can misgender or judge individuals who identify as GNC or A gender.
If you don’t know by now I don’t play with all this damn hate and judgement inside our own community walls. I can’t stress enough that we ALL have to face the negativity of cis heteronormative assholes…. Let’s not do this to each other.

” Get your shit together people ! “

Social platform handles

IG : iman.da.god

Twitter rants: iman_da_god

AMOSC: Selfmadekris

I am a sensitive little b*tch..

No seriously…

Since I’ve transitioned and started living my truth I’ve allowed myself to really become in tune with my emotions and my feelings. Either that or I transformed into a sensitive little bitch ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜‚

Being that I honestly don’t give a shit about what anybody thinks and having self awareness. Yes, I am more sensitive since I’ve transitioned.

It came on gradually after the initial breakdown my very first time in therapy but over time I noticed the shift little by little. I still have my dark humor but certain commercials or scenarios on TV had my eye all swelly and watery. And I don’t mean those deep ASPCA commercials with Sarah McLachlan singing in the background with close ups of helpless abused animals. But regular paper towel kid helps dad clean up mess , gives big hug and BOOM !; here come the water works. Then it got to the point where I would randomly think of a happy memory give a little chuckle and all of a sudden I have happy tears on my sleeve. When people tell me something that a normal person would just go “aww” and go about their day I’m clairvoyantly in a pile of empathetic borrowed emotions on the floor.

Not once was I like “Men Don’t Cry.”

But I applauded myself for letting my guards down and for once in my adult life truely allowing myself to feel. Feel everything. Not just happy and sad but a wide range of emotions.

So eh, if I’m a sensitive little bitch so be it …

๐Ÿ’FAN APPRECIATION GIVE AWAYS !!!

Hey readers, welcome back !!
Today I am here to talk about the FAN APPRECIATION GIVE AWAYS I will be doing every weekend for the month November !!!

I am hosting this via my YouTube channel in celebration and gratitude of all the love and support I have received from my fans since my channel debuted back in late August. 

Here’s my most recent video in case you might have missed it:

I wasn’t expecting the amount of people I would reach & would actually be interested and definitely never would have thought I would have this much support and such awesome fans.

600+ views & 60+ subscribers !!!!

You all are awesome and I appreciate everyone ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ’.

Soooo… to show my appreciation I am giving a #IAmIman T-shirt (with my cool new custom made logo) to an awesome fan once a week, every week in November.

To enter into the give away all you have to do is share the official trailer of my YouTube channel 

Click here: … https://youtu.be/ANbg_-Gbr8c … to be brought to the trailer

Multiple entries are allowed with a maximum daily entree of three(3).

You can share the video on many different social platforms, even ones I am not currently on.

I am trying to make these giveaways as simple and user friendly as possible while making in accessible to my fans on every social site. However this is my first give away so please continue to bare with me.

Here is a few ways to share the trailer

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/imanking

I will try my best to keep in towards the top of my timeline so you can easily find it. Simply find the public status advertising “FAN APPRECIATION GIVE AWAYS” click share , write post, and then tag my facebook account Iman King.

Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/iman_da_god

Probably the easiest way to share and enter the give away. Retweet my current pinned tweet for an entree. Retweet the retweet for multiple entrees. Too bad nobody is on Twitter these days ๐Ÿคฃ

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iman.da.god

Not as simple as Facebook but definitely easy to share and tag. Screenshot the photo of the screenshot of the Facebook status advertising about the “FAN APPRECIATION GIVE AWAYS” (sounds complicated, but it’s not) and post it on your Instagram page. Make sure to tag me or use the hashtag #IamIman. **Remember if your page is private I won’t receive the tag or be able to search the hash tag.

Snapchat – AMOSC: selfmadekris

This may be the most complicated way to enter, but I don’t want to leave my Snapchat fans out. So you can screenshot any advertising from any social platforms (Snapchat included) and post on your story, then take a screenshot of your story and snapchat it to me 

And of course to my readers…. You basically have all of those options to choose from.

Any screenshot of sharing the trailer on media sites not mentioned above are still valid but it is only one entree per day. Sorry but this is because I don’t have a way to verify entree on platforms I do not have and I feel like that’s not fair to everyone else.

If you have problems trying to share for a chance to win please let me know on the specific platform you are trying to share and I’ll fix it so it is available. Help me make this run as smooth as possible.

If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to ask.

Good luck everyone ๐Ÿคž and thanks again for your support it is greatly appreciated ๐Ÿ˜Š.

-Iman King

Let’s talk RELATIONSHIPS *#What’sUpIman

Hey readers, welcome back; today we a pulling a question out of the #WHATSUPIMAN hat !

So the original question pulled was:

“Are you in a relationship/ Which gender(s) do you date?”

Yup, so some readers who know me personally already know the answer to this question but for those who don’t know.. ..

What’s up Iman !?!

A few years ago at the very beginning of my transition I began to internally question my sexuality since I myself had recently become “the grey area” ;so to speak. At the time I was married to a onegender woman. Which had already made unrelated comments about how she felt about transrelationships & transgender people being interested in the same sex. I had also assumed that I was going to be with that person for the rest of my life so I figure it didn’t really matter what gender I was attracted to, I was already married and off the market.

Yes at the time I was somewhat in denial or just didn’t want to face the fact that I had become curious in relationships not only out of the cisgender heteronormative spectrum but also outside of the homosexual normative (apparently). 

I was always “bicurious” but I quickly realized that being transgender that umbrella in itself didn’t quite fit in the rap sheet…

As my marriage came to an end I was free to explore my sexuality and then I came across the term “pansexual”. Of course I’m not big on labels, but being pansexual seemed about as labeless as I was going to find. Not long after my discovery I started completely living in my truth; not just a transman but a pansexual.

For those who don’t know the definition of pansexual in laymen’s terms: I am attracted to any and all human genders. Male, female, transfemale, transmale, GNC etc.

I am still growing and coming in to myself so there’s is much more to learn about my self and my attractions.

I am currently in a relationship with a transwoman, we have been dating for about 7 months now and I must admit this is the most understanding relationship I have been in since/regarding my transition. I personally find onegender women don’t really get me like transwomen. 

*****

My advice for “dating while trans” , is to first make sure you are comfortable enough with yourself before you try and date anyone regardless of gender. Dating and maintaining a relationship is hard enough. Adding mood swings, dysphoria, searching for validation, surgeries, etc will only add on to the stress of making even the easiest relationship work.

If you are not yet comfortable with yourself, your body or where you are at in your transition how can you expect to be comfortable enough to be with someone else?

If you have any further questions about my sexuality or ftm/mtf relationship feel free to ask & I’ll make sure to cover them in the next episode of #WhatsUpIman .

As always thanks for stopping by.

-Iman

Approaching 90days HRT

Hello readers, it’s been a few weeks since I gave y’all any update on HR therapy. 

Well I believe this go round I am currently approaching 90 days in hormone replacement therapy. This particular time in therapy I have decided to stick it out with injections and I must say at first it was unpleasant.

However I have switched from intramuscular injections in my thighs to subcutaneous injections in my belly. Much easier for me personally because the shorter needle gives me less aniexty and since it’s not as deep as intramuscular I don’t experience feeling a needle piercing my muscle.

So update on my dosage: I am now .50 weekly subcutaneous.

This will be my 3rd week doing subcutaneous self injections so I figure I would do a video showing how I do that and explaining a little bit more in depth on my feelings out looks and expectations this time in therapy

So the first 3 months this time in HRT is basically equivalent to the previous times minus I knew what to expect it just happened slightly more rapidly.

Also seems like either the more my body is introduced to hormones or just me being older this time around that I and completely getting better results from therapy. 

I am still experiencing some body fat shift in my chest, waist and glutes. Steadily increasing in over all body hair. And a beautiful surprise of new placed facial hair and darkening/thickening of hairs that have been with me from the very beginning. 

I haven’t had such an incredible in energy and stamina since my first time in therapy (’14-’15). But I love it. Feels like I have also gained in total strength I’ll know that for sure in my next trip to the gym.

My bottom growth has returned bringing my sex drive back with a vengeance. I really could do with out the random boners. I can’t say much for actual growth because I never lost what I gained and I have also took up pumping so I can’t really judge what’s from horomones and what’s from pumping.

I am excited to see how the change from intramuscular to subcutaneous will effect the progress of my therapy.

Thanks for dropping by !!

http://www.facebook.com/imanking
http://www.instagram.com/iman.da.god
http://www.twitter.com/iman_da_god

My life as a “Cute” grown ass man..

Some people have cute smiles. Some people have cute personalities. Some people have cute bodies. You can see where I’m going with this.

I have way too many cute attributes. Especially as society expects a grown man of color to be portrayed as.

Now before you think I’m sucking my own dick let me explain I am no way in any form bragging on my cuteness. Honestly the shits not all it’s cracked up to be after age 5.

Just to emphasize; I went through an ugly duckling phase. Weirdly enough I was an adorable little girl then matured into this awkward prepubescent and then evolved in to this adolescent social butterfly.

Between the ages of 5 – 9 I was adorable my dimple would always get my way and my thick eyebrows and hyperjetic facial expressions got me out of almost anything.

As a child I always heard “you are so cute ” “oh wow she is so adorable” I’d give a little fake smile yada yada.

Fast forwarding here cause we are getting off track ; Now at almost 26 years old this “cute thing” does more harm then good in soooo many different ways. Yes of course I’m going to explain.

It’s is so hard to look my age. A simply task, taken for granted; that so many of you do naturally. It’s the 8th wonder of the world for me. I struggle from what style clothes I should wear. The way I wear my hair. Even the way I walk into a business or establishment. It’s a bother it is. And it’s rooted in the basic fact that I have a cute face. When you hear cute facial features your brain doesn’t necessarily think “man” now does it. So put a cute face on a individual the size of a teenager most likely in a Pokรฉmon Tee plus the amount of facial hair (mainly peach fuzz) of a prepubescent male. You see a sweet innocent cute young man. In some instances I’ve gotten as young as 14 (Caucasian) an in the rare occasion besides when someone guesses my correct age I’ve only gotten as old as 24 on a good day. You know nice suit fresh shave pep in his step kinda days.

Damn this cute face.

Mistaken identity; believe it or not me being so often perceived as a cute little young boy I get mistaken as such like for real. I’ve gotten stopped for being “truant” at 11:30 on a school day. Getting carded while my young barely legal associates walk right on through. And yes even embarrassingly enough mistook for a son when I was a boyfriend. Issa boyfriend. More recently being hit on by girls that are barely half my age. That’s appalling and disturbing to say the least. Not to mention that 16 year olds are staring to look at attempt to act like grown women. But this hasn’t just happen. This has been going on for quite some time in my liddo ol life. Interesting story about my first age ain’t nothing but a number till ha ppl find out scare. But will save that for another day. Point is when you look young you like shift into a whole other age bracket. And that sucks when it’s like been there done that.

Not being taken seriously. One person has a pit bull as a watch dog , another person has a chihuahua as a watch dog. Which person to you think is getting robbed more ? Maybe an extreme analogy but stay with me. Because this cute attribute makes every day like stressful to some extent. Especially when a person like me is already wary of relationships with other humans. Nice guys finish last but cute guys never finished. When you suffer from a cute personality people often see you as docile calm and in no way aย  threat. And it’s not like a brightly color “oh that’s cute but that shit can fuck me up cause it’s probably poisonous”. Its like that kid that stalks a harmless butterfly because it’s “cute” and then squashes it because it’s in now way shape or form dangerous.

With that being said take into consideration that I am that cute little butterfly every day of my life.

 

 

So I ask you is being cute all that it’s cracked up to be

Stealth or nah??

Peace & blessings readers. Good to see you came back.

Today I am going to discuss my opinion on the difference in being “stealth” vs “dont ask, dont tell.”

First let me explain what I personally mean about the terms I am using.

To me being stealth as a trans individual means that you do not disclose the information that you are transgender at anytime. And if questioned; denying your trans status. Basically, pretending to be cisgender.( not really big on that term ugh ) Again that is my definition of being stealth. The actual definition from our community may in fact be different.

Now when I say, “dont ask, dont tell” I am referring this to a transgender individual that is perceived by society as a cisgender *passable/unclockable* (still dont like the term). However if asked in a respectful way will disclose the fact that they are in fact transgender.

People choose stealth life or DADT for their own personal reasons. Just like those who are unapologetically themselves and live out loud.

Where do I fit at in this equation???

Allow me to give you some background about me. When I first began my transition I was in between jobs. At the time I was not “passing” (not big on that term either) as well as I do now. So some interviews I was viewed as a male & others I was viewed as female. Which was challenging and frustrating of course. I’ll stick a pin in this topic & maybe do a vlog on my youtube channel about interviews as trans identified or coming out as trans at a current job.
Anyways, I ended up landing a position at a local raising canes. My GM & shift managers were aware of my trans “status” but as far as coworkers they were still somewhat in the dark. If I was misgendered by a smartass I quickly corrected them and it wasnt a problem there after. As I became close to some of the other employees the question of course arose. I never denied the gender I was assigned at birth but I also firmly lived in my truth.
Fast fowarding (cause I feel like Im rambling) to my current job at Harrahs casino. Now that I am closer to my 3rd year of transitioning. “Passing” is a thing of the past. During the entire interviewing & hiring process I am read for the male I am. I work in the EVS department & my job description causes me to be in and out of restrooms & locker rooms. So of course I supervise the bathroom that I would normally use. Mens restroom, mens locker room.
After I completed the hiring process & finished my 3 days of orientation I went to human resources to let them know that I was in fact transgender. I ONLY did this because I would be in and out of mens rooms and I didnt know how they handled something like that as far as legal department. Lets face it Louisiana has no Trans laws to protect us. Also I rather know soonerย  than later if it was gonna be a problem. Which it wasnt at all yayyyy. And to my surprise I was informed that there is other trans identifying individuals already employed here.

Getting off topic, my apologies.

Personally I would consider myself as DADT & not stealth. I have been working here just shy of 3 months. Other then HR no one else (to my knowledge anyways) knows that I am transgender. Not my supervisor, leads or coworkers. My gender identity has not been brought up or questioned. BUT if I am asked I will NOT lie NOR go out of my way to hide the fact that I am a transgender male.

In my opinion with stealth and DADT the difference starts & ends with your response when/if your gender identity is questioned. Not knocking anyone that lives stealth, DADT or flamboyantly outloud. To each their own and we all have our own reasoning behind our lifestyle choices. There are pros & cons to each choice, do whats best for you.

For me… I dont climb on top a building everyday and shout ” IM A TRANSGENDER MALE!!!”, but if I felt like it or my brothers needed me to stand with them in solidarity.. Im there in pink, white & blue!!

I hope I have provided clarity on my views and opinons about living stealth & how I choose to live my truth.
And if I havent, feel free to ask me to elaborate.

As always follow me on social media.
IG: fullyawakedking
Fb: Kristian King
SC: selfmadekris
YouTube: MrImanKing

Thanks again for looking through the peephole. Until next time…

-Iman King