Me and my waves broke up.

Still love them tho…

So apparently I was less of a waver than I originally thought. I was half stepping and didn’t even know it. I knew it was a tad bit more to 360waves then just brushing. But it was so much more than what I originally thought.

It wasn’t my fault. I was brushing and combing my hair. I didn’t know I wasnt doing shit.”

From the type of brushes you use. The way you tie your rag. The angles to train your crown. There was soooo much I was missing.

Not to mention I didn’t have as much dedication and motivation as a probably should have. And to be honest my routine could have used a few pointers. 

Enough about the bad. Out with the old and in with the new. I have decided to scalp myself. Yes I am going to do it myself. I figured why not. If I am going to try and start this journey over I might as well start it myself.

“I used to cut my own hair on the regular, for almost a year(2014). I’m not a stranger to clippers,… Or taking an L by my own hands.”

Worse comes to worse it’s still pretty cold out so a beanie is the back up plan 😂

Now when I say scalped. I mean scalp. Completely going against the grain trying to undo as much progress as possible. So I guess this would be 360waves v3.0. I haven’t given up yet.

There was a few key factors on why I am starting over:

  • Change the angles I want my pattern
  • Different products and methods
  • Finding a good, knowable barber

I’ve figured out what works best for my hair to get a closed 360spin crown. So know that me and my waves have solved our differences we have decided to give it another chance with a fresh start.

Going back to the fundamentals on this one coach. As I progressed in this journey my dedication started to lack simply because I have good full textured hair; I didn’t have to do much, for the bare minimum. So I’ve agreed to go back to the basics. Keep it simple. Slow and steady.

Most importantly finding a GOOD barber. Not one that is going to knick my crown or give me a regular run of the mill haircut. My pattern is unique and an ordinary haircut slows progress. Sometimes when you want something done right you have to do it yourself. 

Enough of the chit chat see for yourself:

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Thanks for stopping by 👍🏾

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If “humans” ain’t shit 🤔 then what does that mean for me…

Hey readers today I am going to get a little deep and share some thoughts that I have more times then is probably healthy for someone.

If you’re not relatively new to who Iman is then you know that I’m not a big fan of the human species. Don’t really trust them and as a whole & I am pretty close to being darn right terrified. Several time I mention how ridiculous human beings are; never excluding myself. Even though I am aware humans are not the nicest mammals on the planet I cannot deny what I am. Just because I am aware I am an disgusting homosapien doesn’t make me any less of that. 

Never have I tried to deny it but I also never really expressed how much being a human and aware that I am in fact a human really bugs me. So if someone down talking your species bothers you now would be a good time to exit stage left.

Why could I have been a horse or a jaguar or something.

I know that self-hatred isn’t good for you, physically or mentally so I’m not going to say I hate myself just for being human. I realize it’s something that I can’t change. It’s easier to cope with life when you truly understand what humans are capable of. Or at least it is for me.

Sometimes I make the most selfish, arrogant and dumbest decision and I start to question myself and my judgement. Human ain’t shit. What’s worse about all this is I would hate if someone did the same thing to me but I’ll admit sometimes I don’t think about other people’s feelings. 

Have you ever seen those random viral videos about animals helping animals? My favorite one was the lioness who lost her cub and adopted an abandoned gazelle.

“Sure I’ve met dogs and cats that had shitty attitudes; some were just plain douchebags, but I’d rather deal with a bitch.”

I know I can be just as bad sometimes. I push people’s buttons on purpose, I say things I don’t mean, I can be selfish. Hey it’s part of being a human. Does it mean that I’m necessarily a bad person no, but it also doesn’t mean that people who do those things are necessarily good people either. We are all capable of very beautiful things and very terrible things. Just like all other animals on the planet. Some are good some are bad. In my opinion I think majority of people have less love and compassion then other animals in the food chain.

So I suppose; in closing, some(most) humans lack love and compassion. Without love, you ain’t shit. Therefore some(most) humans ain’t shit. I am in fact a human, so yes there could be a possibility I ain’t shit either.

*shrugs*

Should I move back?

Yea never thought I would be considering this and to be honest I’m not even sure if that’s what I’m really considering.

But yet here I am blogging about it so it must be some kinda subconscious problem. So yup, part of me wants to move back to NYC because it’s familiar for one and living there for almost a year I had built bonds with people and established friendship and daily interactions that I really miss. Then of course with Mardi Gras just passing I am becoming increasingly homesick again. And with nothing of really importance keeping me in my current village my brain is telling me; “Well, why the fuck not? *shrug* ” For no other real reason besides that being  HOME 

All of this stems basically from feeling really isolated and alone. Imagine moving into a dorm but not having a roommate. Going to a 2hr class in the same building 5 days a week. Going off campus once a month and that’s only to get food for your ferret. 95% of all social interaction is through a cell phone. Not to mention running out of bud at least 3 times a month. 

Welcome to my life.”


But it’s not all bad. I’ve managed to secure 2 things in adult life that I hate having to deal with. A place of employment & a place of residence. Neither has very taxing upkeep and both are relatively comfortable considering. And that’s basically why I have been stationary. Somewhat just going with the flow for right now.

Partially because that’s easier than stressing about something that’s not even really a problem yet. Mainly because I dread making decision and hate making bad ones.

Of course I could always pack up everything and move to Cali like I did when I basically backpacked to NYC…

Adulting is hard 🙄

Social anxiety/trust issues + Personal Relationships = ???

Excellent question..

To this very day still solving this equation. Here’s what I’ve found so far.

My social aniexty and my distrust in people go hand in hand. My trust issues cause out of place and what some would call outrageous thinking especially in social interactions and relationships. My thought process on how to deal with and understand other people and how they interact was skewed a long time ago.

…like a glass plate once it’s broken, even if you gather all the peices; it will never be the same.

It is a daily struggle and an ongoing battle for me personally but I have learned that not everyone is out to get me. For the most part. I still think unrealistic pessimistic outcomes in certain social interactions. But not as much as I have in the past.

One of my coping methods that seem to be working is thinking, “What’s the worst that could happen?”. It sounds like thinking like that would actually increase my aniexty. On the contrary it helps. I am an over-thinker, can’t really change that and working on the way I think is still being, well; worked on. So no matter how outrageous and non-likely whatever crazy outcomes my aniexty cause me to come up with I let them play out in my head.

Most of the time these thoughts are so farfetched I end up laughing at myself and realizing how ridiculous I am. Some more realistic thoughts however do require some soul searching. For example: a lot of times I find myself stressing about what people’s intentions are with me. So I map out exactly what’s the worst that could happen if they are in fact out to hurt me in some way. I pretty confident in my ability to protect myself both physical and mentally. So instead of just wondering I prepare. 

The downside to this is it takes a lot of brain power to manifest these thoughts without hurling myself into some kind of depression. I would compare it someone being scared of a rollercoaster. They watching rare videos of people in rollercoaster accidents. Then look up exactly how rollercoasters work, how to spot defects and faults on the tracks; fully understanding the end and outs of the coaster and mapping out all the possibilities that could actually happen should they decided to get on that ride.

“Now that I’m actually writing this… You know what, this will probably only work for my weirdness.”

So technically I’m still working on the answer to the equations above…. 

My BALLS busted…***GENDERCAT AMAZEBALLS DISASTER

At 6 am….

In my bed…

Thank goodness this happened inside and not at my job or on public transportation 🙄

It held up for quite a while considering that it was one of the first beta products. GenderCat is improving their products everyday and now AMAZING BALLS are made with stronger silicone with the same great 3D floating testicles.

Even with the tester product I held up substantially well considering that it was my go-to , everyday packer.

I can’t wait for my new Amazeballs packer !!!

I’ll be sure to do another review once I get it 😊

Order yours today at GenderCat.com

First 6 months in my new apartment

Well well, never thought I’d get this far…

Let’s just say I’m like an adult cat , I can probably take care of myself but someone should be around.

This is the first time that I have lived alone for longer than two weeks in almost in a decade. I usually end up with a roommate or a partner. Yes I am aware I have dependency issues. Anywho, I am remarkable proud of myself for holding my own for this long without adult supervision.

Especially losing my job so suddenly back in late December. With less than $500 in savings I was pretty worried. I don’t normally live above my means anyways. But I did manage to let somethings go that weren’t necessities, like Netflix & my Xbox Game Pass. I work weird hours now so I don’t really have time for all that anyways.

Slipping into a slight depressive state for a  few weeks the end of January; jet lag from all the mistakes I made in 2017 most likely. I kept my mind and my apartment clean so and I’m doing much better.

Still have yet to seek out a physician to get back into therapy. But I’m still recovering from having to go through 3 different doctors in a year. My anxiety isn’t exactly telling me it’s a priority.

I’ve even used the open floor plan of my place to my advantage in my healthy living goals. I’ve been able to do more advanced at home work outs and even do a little yoga once in a while.

Over all I am very proud of myself 😊

“Wonder if you are too…”