Failing at HRT, again x6 maybe 7..

πŸ™„πŸ™„

But this time it’s not totally my fault..

Ok, well maybe it is..πŸ€”

So as you know by now I have relocated to upstate NY which means I SHOULD switch my PCP to a new doctor and pharmacy in the area. And herein lies the problem; I had just found a doctor a liked. My original plan was to keep my same physician in the Bronx and just go once a month to refill my prescription and get blood work done. Then I started thinking, well that isn’t very smart. Which it still doesn’t seem to be. But I really rather not go through that aniexty of a new office, nurses and physician. So it may not be the smartest or cheapest way; but it is (what seems to be) the least stressful option.

Iman is a habitual procrastinator. Iman has problems making appointments. Iman has his priorities all mixed up..maybe..

So long story short I have yet to either switch to a new PCP or to see my old one and fill my prescription. So now am behind on my therapy…. Yet again. In my defense however; my stress & aniexty are still high from the move, new surrounds, new job, new everyday life. Not to mention working 6 days a week 50+ hrs & traveling every weekend, I have only had 1 or 2 chances to do either. We all know it takes me a few times to actually jump off the porch.

Lately I seem to have been doing better at adjusting and this should only be the only week I miss. Next weekend is self-care and I will be taking some down time to really recharge and relax. Life got overwhelming for a minute.

But I brought up this “fail” (again) at HRT because this time I do have a few changes to announce some good some bad. 

If you are up to date then you are aware that my dosage has changed again, this time amount and administration. Currently I am on .50 subcutaneous weekly injections in the fatty tissue of my belly.

So immediatly following the first week of the shot I experienced a 100% in my sex drive and overall physical stamina and endurance. Followed by a lost of appetite, which is weird because the actual amount of food I could consume in one sitting drastically increased.

Rounding my second weekly injections I starting experience “growing pains” in my muscles in my chest and upper back before I started my home work out routine.

After the first few days following my missed shot I started experiencing mood swings, a decrease in sex drive and an increase in appetite.

I don’t know exactly why third time in therapy it seems to be such drastic and apparent changes but I would like to assume that it’s because I switched from intramuscular to subcutaneous; I have absolutely no facts or proff of that, besides my gut feeling and know how my body normally reacts to therapy.

Hopefully this is the last missed shot and the last restart of HRT. With me, we can only hope for the best πŸ˜‚πŸ€ž

-Thanks for reading

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Fright Fest !!! πŸŽƒ First time in New Jersey

It’s the weekend so you know what means…

Iman is on the move, again.

So this weekend adventure is a two-fer. My first time in New Jersey and my first time at Fright Fest. So I left work about an early to catch my 4 hour bus ride to NYC (let’s hope for the best). And tomorrow morning I’ll be back on a bus heading to New Jersey for an entire day at Six flags Great Adventure theme park.

I haven’t been to a Six flags in easily over a decade and a half. I haven’t been on a rollercoaster in 2 years (counting the up and down thingy at the aquarium when I was in Houston). Let’s hope I don’t toss my cookies, pass out or shit my pants. Or go into cardiac arrest cause sometimes I forget how old I am πŸ˜‚.

Nervousness, aniexty, excitement are a few emotions I can currently pin point.. but then again I’ve been pretty scattered brain all day yesterday

πŸ€”I did have a latte instead of coffee this morning… I usually only have lattes on Sundays..

Guess I’ll see you guys on the other side 🀞

Gendercat’s NEW “Fascination Sleeve(stand alone)” ***customer review

Hey everyone, back with another review for a new awesome product at  http://www.gendercat.com

So today I am doing a 2 WEEK Review. I normally don’t review anything I haven’t used for less than a month because… Well let’s make sure something really works or doesn’t before we go writing things all over the internet.

This awesome new product made it’s debut in Burlington, Vermont last Saturday at the 15th annual Translating Identity Conference.

See my quick wrap up here: 

So the Fascination Sleeve stand alone is basically what’s available in the hard textures of gendercat’s packers… But stand alone. Fits in your hand. 

The best part of this new invention is it’s dual purpose also acting as a pumping device. The ridges in the inside combined with suction is similar to the well known Fleshlight in comparison.  It currently comes in 2 sizes small and large. Available in a wide range of colors including skin tones. 

I personally enjoy the new stand alone fascination sleeve. I quickly outgrew the smaller size and had to upgrade to a large. But no complaints there. No pain even after extensive use(not that I’m recommending that) and it has also increased my stamina now that my penis is becoming use to direct stimulation.

Watch my YouTube review here:

Looking for products to promote (queer only)

Hey everyone, doing something a little different in my blogs today; hope it doesn’t throw anyone off too much.

So I am hopeful that all of my readers are aware of my YouTube channel, if not you can find my most recent video here:

I want to personally use my platforms to help other queer folk reach a bigger audience. So this is a call to all my fellow LGBTAIQ* entrepreneurs and business/company owners !!! 

I am looking to buy new products and do reviews (and shoutouts) for my social platforms ie Instagram, Facebook, YouTube etc.

You get publicity , I get nifty new toys to play with and something interesting to share with my viewers/readers. All the queers win !!!
These are some products I am looking for…

Natural hair / 360 waver haircare products

Custom made clothing (tshirts, hats etc)

Transgear
I am also looking for long term partnerships with talented queers such as.. 

Graphic designers

Music producers, singers, songwriters

Web designers

Animation producers
And I’m always looking for fellow YouTubers (especially outside of the USA) to give shouts to and maybe even collaborate. Never know untill you ask..

Hope to hear from you soon & as always thanks for stopping by.
All business inquiries please email me

Imandagod@gmail.com

Approaching 90days HRT

Hello readers, it’s been a few weeks since I gave y’all any update on HR therapy. 

Well I believe this go round I am currently approaching 90 days in hormone replacement therapy. This particular time in therapy I have decided to stick it out with injections and I must say at first it was unpleasant.

However I have switched from intramuscular injections in my thighs to subcutaneous injections in my belly. Much easier for me personally because the shorter needle gives me less aniexty and since it’s not as deep as intramuscular I don’t experience feeling a needle piercing my muscle.

So update on my dosage: I am now .50 weekly subcutaneous.

This will be my 3rd week doing subcutaneous self injections so I figure I would do a video showing how I do that and explaining a little bit more in depth on my feelings out looks and expectations this time in therapy

So the first 3 months this time in HRT is basically equivalent to the previous times minus I knew what to expect it just happened slightly more rapidly.

Also seems like either the more my body is introduced to hormones or just me being older this time around that I and completely getting better results from therapy. 

I am still experiencing some body fat shift in my chest, waist and glutes. Steadily increasing in over all body hair. And a beautiful surprise of new placed facial hair and darkening/thickening of hairs that have been with me from the very beginning. 

I haven’t had such an incredible in energy and stamina since my first time in therapy (’14-’15). But I love it. Feels like I have also gained in total strength I’ll know that for sure in my next trip to the gym.

My bottom growth has returned bringing my sex drive back with a vengeance. I really could do with out the random boners. I can’t say much for actual growth because I never lost what I gained and I have also took up pumping so I can’t really judge what’s from horomones and what’s from pumping.

I am excited to see how the change from intramuscular to subcutaneous will effect the progress of my therapy.

Thanks for dropping by !!

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4 weeks in HRT *(again, again)

A month strong (minus one hiccup) in hormone replacement therapy πŸ™ŒπŸΎ

The first few weeks are the same every time. Subtle changes in the body here and there; if you know what you’re looking for.

What I can say restarting therapy so many times on different dosages has allowed me to see and understand the effects of my levels vs the amount and speed my body goes through certain changes.

Recap:

Original Dosage : .25
Biweekly

Original Gel Dosage : 1g /day

Restarted Dosage : .50
Weekly

Restarted Gel Dosage : 5g / day

Current Dosage : .25
Biweekly

 

My first levels ever test came back a little over 900. Definitely not good. For those who don’t know target testosterone levels for me are 600-850. *2014
Being more knowledgeable now I also notice that each time I reentered therapy my levels reacted differently excluding the change in dosage. As I suspected back then; the more on the low side my levels are the more rapid my body experiences the “re-puberty”.
So setting my own standards I am putting my target T levels at 650-750. Small window but it’s my transition so I think it’s fair I set my goals and limitations.

Looking back on all the times I began HRT I think the most evolved trait due to the introduction of hormones would be hair. Not so much the end result but the actual journey. To come from a place where peach fuzz took months to come in and regrow and was so thin and light it looked like my hairs could be wiped off. To now where legit stubble arrives at just under a week and and returning sporadic dark whisker patches on the bottom of both of my cheeks. And the icing on the cake my legit stache connects to my valid chin whiskers to make a struggling goatee. None of which I could say I had before. Wont even get started on the chest , belly and back hair.

In & out. Up & down the only thing that seemed to noticeably fluctuate was my weight, fat distribution & sex drive. Still I’ve heard unstable levels over time can be a health concern. But I’m sure everyone here already knows not to follow be behind me. πŸ€·πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈ

Personally each time in therapy got a little easier. I understood more. I got insurance. Overcame my phobias of needles (now I just don’t like them). And best of all I’ve learned how to make hormones a priority and actually stick to some type of schedule.

Back to present day…

Same changes around the same time period as the first time in hormone replacement therapy. Maybe a little more prudent because i.e. this isn’t my first rodeo. Hair was already growing there. Fat had been redistributed before. Adam’s apple had already enlarged etc.

Nothing magical…

Wish I could have more to share but the first month is usually boring.

If my calculations are correct my first home self injection should be coming up soon so be on the look out for that.

 

Thank you to all my readers !
-Iman

Living with bipolar depression and anxiety.

 

Or should I say “battling” πŸ€”

Either way I have been “struggling” with this mental disorder as a child. Yes as a child πŸ˜”. Sadly this has been an ongoing battle for as long as I can remember.

It makes life difficult but not impossible…

Let me take you back as far as I can remember;

I was around 5 years old. I had recently been told I was adopted by my mother. As a bright kid I understood what that meant but also as a care free child it didn’t make much sense. I only knew one parent. My mom was my mother irregardless to anything.
Going through court appearances & learning to spell my new name was trying but it didn’t affect me that much (or so I thought).
After i turned 8 I became what was; at the time, “a rebellious child”. My mother started receiving phone calls from the school, I was misbehaving at home & just seemed to always be the one that “did it”… But to me I was just a kid.
So my mom did what most parents did for an over active hyper child in the 90s πŸ™„ took me to a therapist.
And just like that boom πŸ’₯ I was diagnosed with ADHD and depression. I didn’t grasp what that was at all. I knew in the mornings I had to take a pill and at lunch everyday at school I had to take my medicine.
I can’t recall feeling all that different on the antidepressants. But the meds for my attention disorder well they did a number on me. Mostly for the better because I was physically able to keep still with out feeling like I was going to explode. So I guess the did they job.
Skipping a few years into the future I’m approaching my 11 birthday and my favorite phrase and answer for everything was ” I don’t care” at first it was shrugged off my mother. However by Christmas my response to what do I want from was still “I don’t care”. Looking back at in now what i thought was just a phase was a sign to deeper mental problems that would reveal themselves later on in life. Because when the rebuttal to my phrase was “Well what do you care about?” I really didn’t have an honest answer.
So that went on for more than a year. That was my first time dealing with my depression; not knowing exactly what it was at the time. Then the following 2 years were extremely difficult. Experienced my mother having a break down at the lost of her mother, the lost and abandonment I felt during hurricane Katrina and ultimately the lost of my grandmother weakened my strength ever more so. It was during this time that I could be honest with myself that I had a problem. But I down played it a chalked it up to PTSD & not having a loving environment. I had ups and down over the next decade or so.
Fast forwarding to 23 years old when I realized that my depression can in fact be cropping. It was in this 6-8th month breakdown I had 2 suicide attempts, constantly went missing for days & wouldn’t leave the house for months at a time. That was the first time I really reached out for help, professional help. Needless to say I could have used it 4-5 years sooner, but better late than never.
Can’t say this story has a happy fairy tale ending because to this day my life is a struggle dealing with the lack of capability to control my thoughts & emotions all the time and that’s putting it nicely.
I had another breakdown that almost wound me up in psychiatric hospital at the age of 25.

My mental disorders do not define me nor what I can accomplish in life. The do make up a part of who I am but it is not the biggest nor most important part of me.

I am Strong. I am Determined. I am Resilient.

Mental disorders like bipolar depression, PTSD, anxiety, schizophrenia etc are serious issues in our community. They aren’t talked about and even less likely treated or monitored.

So if you have a friend , family or know someone that suffers from these or any mental condition or disorder please let them know you are there for them; sometimes that’s all we need.

Thanks for listening..
-Kristian Iman

Apartment Hunting!!!

It’s currently “too damn early to be up” o’clock.

And once again I am on the road 😁

This time I am heading to Ithaca, New York; to check out some apartments. I’ve been frantically trying to gather information and schedule days and times to view prospective apartments since my return from philly last weekend.

It’s about a 4hr ride from Manhattan to Ithaca; greyhound style. All I want to do right now is nap.

I was able to get some sleep last night somehow and the anxiety didn’t kick in and wake me up till about 1am …yayy

Just my luck I ended up sitting in front of two underage college strangers that want to get to know each other’s whole life story on this greyhoundπŸ™„ I don’t know what’s worse the blonde chewing her gum or this guys accent πŸ€¦πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈ

Anyways….

Keeping my fingers crossed 🀞🏾 that hopefully I find reasonable accommodations today because I would loathe having to come back 2 & 3 times just to apartment hunt.
I learned first hand from Houston, Tx that no matter how much cash you have finding a suitable apartment can sometimes be a long winded game of chess.

The sooner I find a place the sooner I can settle in and the sooner I can begin my dream job.

Think I’ll take a nap for a little while and dream of all the good things to soon come.

Add me on Snapchat @selfmadekris

&

Follow me on Instagram @Iman.da.god

…For live videos and updates from my journey to Ithaca New York.

I’ll be back shortly !

Journey to 360s The first 14days

Day 1 August 8, 2017

Sooo,
Yea πŸ€·πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈ sporadic impulsive Kris has done it yet again πŸ€¦πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈ

Today was the big chop. I know I said I was going to wait until my birthday but no better time than the present.

Went to a lil barber shop in the duck off of Queensbridge projects. This was my second time at this particular shop and ironically I got the same barber that gave my manbun’s last lining. (R.I.P.)

Within hours of finalizing my decision I was in the barber shop picking my hair out for the last time, and before I knew it I was in the chair. Knee jerk reaction would be putting it lightly.

Just a month shy of my year mark of my last big chop….😭

Of course there is the instant regret as the barber scalps you, then there is the remorse when you stand up out the chair and finally the grieving the morning of the day after…..

 

Day 2 ✌🏾

Ahhh yes the morning after …. πŸ™„ Well there is no use crying over spilt milk. So after being overly dramatic and saying “I miss my hair😩” 4,389,601,725 times I seem to have gotten over it.

Now the fun part can begin; brushing. Hours and hours of tedious brushing. Cause if it’s one thing I gathered from all my intel on acquiring 360 waves the key element is BRUSHING.

So a morning routine to begin with sounds simple enough. Wake up, peel off durag, wet brush, brush session; easy enough.

Hmmm ..πŸ€” but what brush is best for me

I wouldn’t exactly say I’m “cheap” but I do despise purchasing a non returnable item and it ends up being wrong.

So what do we do? Test drive!

 

Day 3

This brush is too hard.

 

Day 4

This brush feels nice, but I think it’s too soft.

 

Day 5

Sigh πŸ˜” maybe I should try a different approach. Let’s not forget it’s been almost a year since the top part of my head has got this much action. So let’s take a step back and start looking at other important hair care product necessities.

Wave grease, shampoo & condition, permanent barber… So for now let’s just leave this durag on and hope no one notices how oddly shaped my head is.

However let’s also take a moment to realize that this is a big step and a huge journey that I am about to embark on. Look past the “take your rag off” , “what’s your cut look like” , “oh you cut your manbun/ponytail” and really come to terms with the fact that this is my hair for the next 9-12 months.

 

Day 6

Had my first wash since my scalping. Felt good. However the following brush session did not. Note: Hard brush is not a recommendation during the first week.

Did a little more research on what type of marvelous hair goodies I will need for this journey. Window shopped the hair stores around the neighborhoods I most frequently visit.

Ive come up with my own little night routine. Which is actually a mixture of methods I’ve learned about and a little of what I feel is right for my hair.

I’ve decided to do a brush session followed by the “plastic bag” method then putting my rag on.
Haven’t use any products yet still letting my scalp enjoy the clean pores and fresh air.

Did approximately a total of 3 brush sessions over the course of today. As well as letting them breath for 2 hours a day. And beginning my night routine.

Starting to feel like a “Waver”.

 

Week 2

It’s officially been a week… and my mood on all this is slightly changing. I also think I’m finally over my hair 😭. Either that or I’m stoked because I’ve located my crown, or because I stuck to something an entire week.

So a lot of new things happened in the past week and I’ve learned a little. Most importantly a hard brush is not my friend. I still need to gather more information but I believe I am a “corse hair waver”. I’ve learned what some of my weak points are in my routine. And I brush my hair approximately 2hrs a day now.

Couple baby shadow waves here n there. You can see them when I brush if the lighting is good and you catch me at a certain angle. Mostly on my right side and my top prolly due to the fact that I’m right handed and that’s the areas I hit the hardest during my brush sessions. Common problem easy fix. Trying to really set my crown is more difficult then it seems. It’s like the more I brush to obtain the perfect eye the more confusion I cause πŸ€·πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈ. I suppose I’ll figure it out as time progresses.

It takes 14 days to build a habit; 1 week down, one to go.

 

 

Travel jitters

 

Well it’s been almost a year since I last hopped a bus, train or plane & I seem to have a case of the butterflies.
Philadelphia is a place I haven’t yet been so I am overly anxious to add another notch on my belt. Also the weekend break from NYC will be much appreciated.

What better way to pass a two hour bus ride than to blog 😊.

I am traveling from New York to Philadelphia to attend my first Philly TransHealth conference. I will be going as an official representative from project Freedom Underground / Free Ky. I am also attending to meet and sit with the Creator & Owner of GenderCat. Not to mention all the information and knowledge at my fingertips while I am there.

This is the first conference I have ever attend and I am definitely feeling a mixture of emotions. But over all I’m excited and I can’t wait for the experience.

And me on Snapchat: Selfmadekris & Facebook: Iman King

Follow me on Instagram: Iman.da.god & twitter: imandagod

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