My life as a “Cute” grown ass man..

Some people have cute smiles. Some people have cute personalities. Some people have cute bodies. You can see where I’m going with this.

I have way too many cute attributes. Especially as society expects a grown man of color to be portrayed as.

Now before you think I’m sucking my own dick let me explain I am no way in any form bragging on my cuteness. Honestly the shits not all it’s cracked up to be after age 5.

Just to emphasize; I went through an ugly duckling phase. Weirdly enough I was an adorable little girl then matured into this awkward prepubescent and then evolved in to this adolescent social butterfly.

Between the ages of 5 – 9 I was adorable my dimple would always get my way and my thick eyebrows and hyperjetic facial expressions got me out of almost anything.

As a child I always heard “you are so cute ” “oh wow she is so adorable” I’d give a little fake smile yada yada.

Fast forwarding here cause we are getting off track ; Now at almost 26 years old this “cute thing” does more harm then good in soooo many different ways. Yes of course I’m going to explain.

It’s is so hard to look my age. A simply task, taken for granted; that so many of you do naturally. It’s the 8th wonder of the world for me. I struggle from what style clothes I should wear. The way I wear my hair. Even the way I walk into a business or establishment. It’s a bother it is. And it’s rooted in the basic fact that I have a cute face. When you hear cute facial features your brain doesn’t necessarily think “man” now does it. So put a cute face on a individual the size of a teenager most likely in a Pokémon Tee plus the amount of facial hair (mainly peach fuzz) of a prepubescent male. You see a sweet innocent cute young man. In some instances I’ve gotten as young as 14 (Caucasian) an in the rare occasion besides when someone guesses my correct age I’ve only gotten as old as 24 on a good day. You know nice suit fresh shave pep in his step kinda days.

Damn this cute face.

Mistaken identity; believe it or not me being so often perceived as a cute little young boy I get mistaken as such like for real. I’ve gotten stopped for being “truant” at 11:30 on a school day. Getting carded while my young barely legal associates walk right on through. And yes even embarrassingly enough mistook for a son when I was a boyfriend. Issa boyfriend. More recently being hit on by girls that are barely half my age. That’s appalling and disturbing to say the least. Not to mention that 16 year olds are staring to look at attempt to act like grown women. But this hasn’t just happen. This has been going on for quite some time in my liddo ol life. Interesting story about my first age ain’t nothing but a number till ha ppl find out scare. But will save that for another day. Point is when you look young you like shift into a whole other age bracket. And that sucks when it’s like been there done that.

Not being taken seriously. One person has a pit bull as a watch dog , another person has a chihuahua as a watch dog. Which person to you think is getting robbed more ? Maybe an extreme analogy but stay with me. Because this cute attribute makes every day like stressful to some extent. Especially when a person like me is already wary of relationships with other humans. Nice guys finish last but cute guys never finished. When you suffer from a cute personality people often see you as docile calm and in no way a  threat. And it’s not like a brightly color “oh that’s cute but that shit can fuck me up cause it’s probably poisonous”. Its like that kid that stalks a harmless butterfly because it’s “cute” and then squashes it because it’s in now way shape or form dangerous.

With that being said take into consideration that I am that cute little butterfly every day of my life.

 

 

So I ask you is being cute all that it’s cracked up to be

Today is the day!

Welp, today is finally here. I have a doctor appointment this afternoon to start horomone replacement therapy. A few weeks ago a had blood drawn for my labs. The regular check my levels, liver, blood count etc. So if everything comes back accordingly today I should be getting my script for testosterone.

Mentally speaking I am somewhat anxious just for the fact that therapy will bring on several changes mentally and physically. Glad I already know what to expect as far as body fat redistribution, mood swings, body masculinization, growth, body hair increase, body temperature and odor changes etc. But going into therapy this time knowing Im in it for the long haul has me uneasy.
If you have been following my blogs for quite sometime then you know that staying in therapy long term has been somewhat challenging. Usually discontinuing therapy was a result of either a lack of funds or a lack of desire, mostly the latter. Im not sure if I said this before but I’m not completely content with taking a bi weekly shot of testosterone or a daily dose of topical testosterone for the rest of my life. Not having a deep voice or a full beard would not make me dysphoric. I stand firm with my beliefs that it takes wayyyy more than that to be a man. So with that being said Im still not completely sold with taking testosterone for the rest of my life, however I will consider it & also set goals and a timeline to decide when/if I will discontinue therapy. I do no want to nor do I plan on being in therapy my entire life.
If you know me personally then you know I switch my mind like night and day & nothing personally is set it stone. So I guess if you really want to know how everything turns out you’ll have to follow my blogs/vlogs to stay up to date.

Thanks for sticking around this long

Social media sites:
FB: Kristian King
SC: Selfmadekris
GM: kristianimanking

The Secret to MY Facial Hair

In honor of no shave november, today I will be ironic and blog about my facial routine.

Personally I feel like shaving CAN help facial hair grow. I’m not saying it does & I’m not saying it doesnt. However I DONT think it has any negative side effects.
For me, personally; shaving ALONG with my facial hygiene routine did help my facial hair grow.
If you know me then you know I have had problems in the past with schedule keeping so technically the routine I am about to explain is more of an outline than a exact dialogue. Ha ha. Bare with me.

1.) Wash your face
2.) Rinse your face
3.) Moisturize your face

**Not kidding folks all of those steps are important. Don’t skip any!

Going through my first puberty (more of a small growth hiccup) I was lucky enough to not have acne problems. Unfortunately I also had “not so great” facial hygiene. Since my face didnt require that extra attention as a result of acne.. I didnt pay it any attention at all.
Fast fowarding to a few years ago when I began my transistion & went through my 2 puberty. I would exactly call it acne, but my face definitely went through something. I’m assuming it was because of new peach fuzz poppin through un-used hair follicles, sweating more profusely & small changes in everyday activities.

So now I have to like wash my face everyday… Ugh
(just kidding, kinda)

After growing tired of popping pimples on my jawline & putting toothpaste on my cheeks; I started taking exquisite care of my face.
Washing your face in the shower every day is a duh, right? Yeah, but somehow I still managed to jack that up.
So my routine now is to have a separate towel for my face with a 3 day max use. I only wash my face with gold dial antibiotic bar soap or the white dove sensitive skin bar soap. I save the smell good soap for my body.

Next is a step that I used to half-a** all the time.
RINSE!
I rinse my face until its squeaky clean, literally. And usually once more after. No matter how “skin friendly” a soap says it is, not properly rinsing can clog your pores and cause a pimple outbreak.
Also,(here’s the part where its mostly an outline) I wash my face once when I get out of bed and once before laying down for bed. Not sure about the statistics or fun facts behind this, It just makes my face feel cleaner.
Do NOT OVER moisturize your face! That puts you back at square one, with an oily dirty face covered in gunk thats just not supposed to be there. Drying your face out can also be a con. But personally I rather be a little ashy than greasy.
Im not going to tell you what I use, (no one pays me for advertising, yet) but just listen to your body and try not to constantly over or under do it.

And that is how I finally learned how to properly wash my face at age 22.
Again, I am not a scientist nor do I have scientic proof for the following statement. This is my personal opinions and results.

When I started to feel blue about being “beardless”, I took it upon myself to be proactive and started to try and grow a legit beard.
Now when I say proactively grow a beard a mean I adopted the habit as if I had patchy stubble, instead of just sporadic peach fuzz.

I started shaving my (imaginary) beard every 2 to 4 days. Sometimes clean, but mostly trying different styles. Always using a sharp razor, shaving cream & after shave. Even faithfully brushing my beard & carrying my brush almost 100% of the time.
Occasionally doing smaller things I read online; like daily 10-15min facial massages, eating foods that promotes healthy skin and hair & home made mixture that stimulate hair follicles.

It took a while, but eventually I started seeing more facial hair. At first it was barely noticable. The longer and more strict I was with my invented routine the more changes I saw.
In the recent months I started seeing my imaginary beard come to life. Just barely, but its nice to have peach fuzz everywhere you want with connections. Gives me hope for when I shed my down feathers and grow into my big boy beard. Ha ha.

“Patience is key. Finding what individually works for you is the lock. And your beard is the door, open it up.”
NO SHAVE, NOVEMBER

No shave november is more than letting your beard grow, boycotting the barber & letting your inner hippy breathe. November is cancer awarenes month. (as well as transgender, diabetes & men’s health awareness month)
During November if you choose to participate in #NSN let your hair grow wild, free & unkept. This is done for a few different reasons.
To show support and solidarity to all those who have lost the ability to grow hair due to chemotherapy while battling any type of cancer & those that have passed because of it.
To raise awareness about all different types of cancer. If you are normally known to be clean and neat; you will arouse questions when you change to a more of a wild and free look. “Why?” Conversation starter!
To donate all of the money that you would normally spend on hair care products such as hair cuts and styles, razors and shaving accessories, relaxers, perm etc to a cancer charity.

No shave november is mostly known in the male community and is expected to bring thick wild facial hair from stubble to paul bunyan beards. But everyone can participate in #nsn , men, women & everything in between. You dont have to skip a hair cut & you don’t have to have to grow an overnight drake beard. No shave november = cancer awarness. As long as you spreading awarness you are paticipate.

And that my friends.. is the real story behind the misunderstood & misinterpreted #NoShaveNovember

Thanks for stopping by and see you next time 🌎✌
Peace & blessings

IG: k.king_legendary
Tw: kristianimankin
SC: selfmadekris
Yt: Kristian King

So fresh & so clean, clean.

Ello gov’ner,

Welcome back peeps today I’m going to talk about hygiene. Woah, seriously?

Yes seriously; as a transmale going through puberty(again for some) can be a tough & confusing time.  Weird smells, odd hair, sweaty oily skin all this shit can get happen crazy fast. Especially if you’re going through therapy.

Lucky for me I already had a natural musk that over the years I learned what worked for me. And I was hairy as a pubescent tween, runs in the family. But even I wasnt prepared for the chest and back hair. The increased natural body temperature. And basically “hulked-out” all my favorite t shirts.

I also picked up a few tips along the way and maybe they will work for you.

Body hair.
As you transition depending on your genetics and therapy you will experience increase hair growth on varies areas of your body. Since this is a hygienic blog I’m not going to dig deep into stuff like leg, arm, back hair etc.
Starting with arm pit hair. First and most important rule. If you can smell your self so can others! If you haven’t already switched deodorants you probably should. Men deo like axe, old spice, and riteguard are made for men. For the extra sweating and more odor we sometimes produce then our female counter parts.

Hopefully this doesn’t trigger anyone..

Pubic hair… Some dudes, actually alot of men manscape. But if you dont there’s nothing wrong with a trim now and again. If you’re one of those fellas that prefer the buckwheat style; powder can be your bestfriend (especially if you pack) and I would suggest to stay away from tight fitting briefs & speedos. Let your bush breath. Ha ha. Nobody likes the smell of sweaty ball sack 😝.

Feet.
Some men are still trapped in the past. There is nothing wrong with a man who takes care of his feet. It does not make him any less masculine. Smelly feet do not make you a man. They make you a caveman. 😂
If you have extra sweaty or “wet” toes it helps to dry in between each toe individual, dust them with a little foot powder and make sure to give them a minute when you get out the shower to really “dry” out.

Face and acne.
Personally I wasnt assaulted with acne the first time I went thru puberty. The second time was slightly different but I was able to fight it off with proactive preventative tricks of the trade.
Rinsing off cold water after a bath or shower, closes pores & also tightens skin.
Washing my face every morning with an only face towel and throughly rinsing. Apply aftershave after each shave. Most importantly keeping my hands and fingers out of my face.

In conclusion there is nothing wrong with a man with excellent hygiene. Which can prove difficult while going through puberty but if you listen to your body and try a few trials and errors you could easily become the best smelling guy on the block. 😃

If you have any questions about penis hygiene especially after growth feel free to email me.

As always, feel free to follow me on social media.

IG: fullyawakenedking
Fb: Kristian King
SC: selfmadekris
Tw: kristianimankin
YouTube: Mr Iman King
Gmail: Kristianimanking

My first week back in therapy.

I look at transitioning different then alot of guys. Same goes for HRT. I look at it as the whole picture and think with the end in mind. The biggest difference I found & where alot of guys go wrong is comparing and contrasting transitions and results of therapy.

Not that I havent been on the short end of the stick for a while; quite a while if you know me personally. But if its one thing I learned society expects from men it is to be strong. No matter how many times you get knocked down get up and the key part: Fight back!

After going thru my first full dedicated week back in therapy in Jah knows how long; I’ve come to realize that I was anxious for no reason. (Which of course I already knew that, but just going thru the motions I suppose.

I’m not here to discuss physical changes thats going to pretty much happen to some extent regardless. I’m swinging by to discuss the mental and emotional changes. That can also be achieved way before therapy.

Before I get into that let me explain why I refer to taking horomones or testosterone as therapy. Besides the fact that’s basically what it is.

When you are prescribed horomones by your doctor they are for the Horomone Replacement Therapy you are going through to medical transition from one gender to another.
Yea real shit, I know.

It is therapy. Like someone would take therapy say for a messed up back or leg. Or even therapy for a speech or physiological problem. Therapy is exactly what it is. If you dont put forth the effort AND have the patience you will not be very successful in your goals you wish to achieve by going through the therapy in the first place.

Personally when I first started therapy a few years back I was not really serious about it. Not to confuse it with not being serious about my transition. I was just not “amused” with the whole idea of going through a medical replacement therapy. That indecisiveness led to therapy being put on the back burner. Missing doctor’s appointments, missing shots etc, and eventually led to me discontinuing therapy all together.

Even though I decieded to not continue with HRT that did not slow down or stop my process of transitioning.

Instead of focusing on achieving goals like facial hair, deep voice, masculine chest, gender reassignment surgeries etc (things that transmen keep telling society does not make you a man *kayne west shrug*) I focused on other, to me, more important qualities in being a man. A king to his castle.

All those little things set the foundation to the man I am building.

Doesnt matter how full my beard is or how deep my voice is if people are using incorrect pronouns and birth names.

I wont be seen as a real man just because my chest is flat or I’m bigger than most guys in the gym locker room if I’m not taking care of home and my family.

Kind of get where I’m going with this now?..

I couldnt respect myself as a man, made from dirt; no control of this emotions & actions, with no foundation and no principles and values of a real man and I wouldnt ask anyone else to.

Anyways, back to my first week back in therapy. Lets just say its way better the second time around, now that I know what I’m getting into.

Mentally I have already transitioned so honestly this therapy thing should be a breeze.

Thanks for dropping by again.
As always, feel free to follow me on social media.

IG: fullyawakedking
Fb: Kristian King
SC: selfmadekris
Tw: kristianimankin
YouTube: Mr Iman King