My first week back in therapy.

I look at transitioning different then alot of guys. Same goes for HRT. I look at it as the whole picture and think with the end in mind. The biggest difference I found & where alot of guys go wrong is comparing and contrasting transitions and results of therapy.

Not that I havent been on the short end of the stick for a while; quite a while if you know me personally. But if its one thing I learned society expects from men it is to be strong. No matter how many times you get knocked down get up and the key part: Fight back!

After going thru my first full dedicated week back in therapy in Jah knows how long; I’ve come to realize that I was anxious for no reason. (Which of course I already knew that, but just going thru the motions I suppose.

I’m not here to discuss physical changes thats going to pretty much happen to some extent regardless. I’m swinging by to discuss the mental and emotional changes. That can also be achieved way before therapy.

Before I get into that let me explain why I refer to taking horomones or testosterone as therapy. Besides the fact that’s basically what it is.

When you are prescribed horomones by your doctor they are for the Horomone Replacement Therapy you are going through to medical transition from one gender to another.
Yea real shit, I know.

It is therapy. Like someone would take therapy say for a messed up back or leg. Or even therapy for a speech or physiological problem. Therapy is exactly what it is. If you dont put forth the effort AND have the patience you will not be very successful in your goals you wish to achieve by going through the therapy in the first place.

Personally when I first started therapy a few years back I was not really serious about it. Not to confuse it with not being serious about my transition. I was just not “amused” with the whole idea of going through a medical replacement therapy. That indecisiveness led to therapy being put on the back burner. Missing doctor’s appointments, missing shots etc, and eventually led to me discontinuing therapy all together.

Even though I decieded to not continue with HRT that did not slow down or stop my process of transitioning.

Instead of focusing on achieving goals like facial hair, deep voice, masculine chest, gender reassignment surgeries etc (things that transmen keep telling society does not make you a man *kayne west shrug*) I focused on other, to me, more important qualities in being a man. A king to his castle.

All those little things set the foundation to the man I am building.

Doesnt matter how full my beard is or how deep my voice is if people are using incorrect pronouns and birth names.

I wont be seen as a real man just because my chest is flat or I’m bigger than most guys in the gym locker room if I’m not taking care of home and my family.

Kind of get where I’m going with this now?..

I couldnt respect myself as a man, made from dirt; no control of this emotions & actions, with no foundation and no principles and values of a real man and I wouldnt ask anyone else to.

Anyways, back to my first week back in therapy. Lets just say its way better the second time around, now that I know what I’m getting into.

Mentally I have already transitioned so honestly this therapy thing should be a breeze.

Thanks for dropping by again.
As always, feel free to follow me on social media.

IG: fullyawakedking
Fb: Kristian King
SC: selfmadekris
Tw: kristianimankin
YouTube: Mr Iman King

“Excuse me, can you turn your ‘cis’ down? You’re disturbing my ‘genders’.”

Peace & blessings yet again everyone. I know the title is a bit unorthodox so lets jump right in and break it down shall we. Great.
First and foremost let me remind my readers that this a personal blog full of personal ideas and some beliefs. Dont get butt hurt cause its different. 👌

Now then.. This blog is me breaking down genders by prefixes and suffixes; mainly to give depth to why I personally changing my vocabulary.

I am no expert on gender, but I think I can give a pretty good jist of it:

Gender non confirming
An individual that does not necessarily fall under 1 gender; no-gender, agender

Bi-gender
An individual that can fall under 2 or more genders; combine or separate.

Transgender
An individual that has made a transition from one gender to another; male to female, female to male.

Cisgender
An individual that is the same gender assigned from birth until death; one gender.

I never did agree on the “cisgender” term. I personally feel like the term
Onegender would be more suitable. Cisgender are women or men that are born into one gender and stay that way.
Cisgender. Its sounds like “ciscioety” and the “cistem” are trying to make onegender the “normal” gender to be. Like cisgender isn’t even a gender, its just a normal person.
Dont get me wrong I love all my onegender people, my wife is a onegender woman; married to a transgender man.
This is my personal opinion on the whole word, term definiton. It is what is in the dictionary(just dont get one 5-10years old).
So from now on my faithful readers when l say onegender you will understand what l mean.
I have love for all genders of course! After all the genitals dont make gender and gender doesnt make a person.

Thanks again for stopping by, until next time…

As always follow me on social media.
IG: fullyawakedking
Fb: Kristian King
SC: selfmadekris
Tw: kristianimankin
YouTube: Mr Iman King

 

Stuck in a BIND(er)??

Welcome, welcome peace & blessings everyone.

Today I’m going to review on 2 binder companies I’ve delt with in the past along with a few binding tips I picked up along the way

So this blog is mainly to give my brothers out here feedback. Even if your not a transman or have no need to purchase a binder, feel free to stay & look through the peephole.

My first binder was a half tank black binder from gc2b.co .

*(It was a while ago so my dates and time may be off. Theres a vlog review floating around youtube somewhere under an old alias)

When I ordered it offline everything was simple and easy to read. I recieved a conformation email & tracking number.

It arrived in a discrete package. Small enough to fit in an apartment community mailbox. A washing & handling info card and a reciet came inside the package with the binder.

Per usual, the first time is always “tight” . ha ha. I was working in landscaping at the time so the first 3 days I experienced some “cutting” in the pit area. Not enough to cause any real discomfort. It was tight enough to do its job correctly but not too tight to cause pain.

Since it was a half & not a full tank I did experience quite a bit of “rolling”. So I would suggest to go with a full tank unless you have like wash board abs or something.

Over all I was pleased with the company and its product. The only thing I would change would be the durability. An every day high-activity type wear on this binder after about 2 months it losts compression but still work ok.

I currently dont wear a binder as often as I used to.

My second binder was from underworks.com, dont quote me but I think it was the men’s half tank black compression Tee.

It arrived swiftly and discreetly straight to my mailbox.

It seemed like it was almost impossible to get in it but when I finally got into it; it was the best binding I’ve experienced so far. It didnt cut and even being a half/mid tank binder it didn’t roll up as much as I was expecting it to.

A few months in (I got into a tussle) it tore under the left pit. It still binds great and the slight 1inch tear gives me some breathing room since I currently need to move up a size.

If I had to choose one I would pick gc2b. Just order a few at a time. gc2b is a trans operated company and compared to other brands they bind just as well.

Binding with duck tape, ace bandages etc is harmful to your health. Not to mention lessening your options for top surgery down the road. But we all do what we have to do to survive. My tip, just like any type of binding, allow yourself to have enough room and normal mobility. If its hard to breath try something different. Dont bind with anything that leaves bruises or causes pain in your ribs. Remove any binding that has adhesive in the shower. And try not to bind for more than 9-10hrs.

Binding in summer’s extreme heat can be aggravating and painful. Wearing a moisture wick T or a undershirt to pull sweat away from your body and help prevent chaffing.

Personal tip: jean vest are great alternative depending on your chest. Wear it on top of a tank top or tshirt. Or wear it shirtless!!!

Bind safely guys!!!!

As always follow me on social media.
IG: fullyawakedking
Fb: Kristian King
SC: selfmadekris
YouTube: MrImanKing

Thanks again for looking through the peephole. Until next time…

-Iman King

Stealth or nah??

Peace & blessings readers. Good to see you came back.

Today I am going to discuss my opinion on the difference in being “stealth” vs “dont ask, dont tell.”

First let me explain what I personally mean about the terms I am using.

To me being stealth as a trans individual means that you do not disclose the information that you are transgender at anytime. And if questioned; denying your trans status. Basically, pretending to be cisgender.( not really big on that term ugh ) Again that is my definition of being stealth. The actual definition from our community may in fact be different.

Now when I say, “dont ask, dont tell” I am referring this to a transgender individual that is perceived by society as a cisgender *passable/unclockable* (still dont like the term). However if asked in a respectful way will disclose the fact that they are in fact transgender.

People choose stealth life or DADT for their own personal reasons. Just like those who are unapologetically themselves and live out loud.

Where do I fit at in this equation???

Allow me to give you some background about me. When I first began my transition I was in between jobs. At the time I was not “passing” (not big on that term either) as well as I do now. So some interviews I was viewed as a male & others I was viewed as female. Which was challenging and frustrating of course. I’ll stick a pin in this topic & maybe do a vlog on my youtube channel about interviews as trans identified or coming out as trans at a current job.
Anyways, I ended up landing a position at a local raising canes. My GM & shift managers were aware of my trans “status” but as far as coworkers they were still somewhat in the dark. If I was misgendered by a smartass I quickly corrected them and it wasnt a problem there after. As I became close to some of the other employees the question of course arose. I never denied the gender I was assigned at birth but I also firmly lived in my truth.
Fast fowarding (cause I feel like Im rambling) to my current job at Harrahs casino. Now that I am closer to my 3rd year of transitioning. “Passing” is a thing of the past. During the entire interviewing & hiring process I am read for the male I am. I work in the EVS department & my job description causes me to be in and out of restrooms & locker rooms. So of course I supervise the bathroom that I would normally use. Mens restroom, mens locker room.
After I completed the hiring process & finished my 3 days of orientation I went to human resources to let them know that I was in fact transgender. I ONLY did this because I would be in and out of mens rooms and I didnt know how they handled something like that as far as legal department. Lets face it Louisiana has no Trans laws to protect us. Also I rather know sooner  than later if it was gonna be a problem. Which it wasnt at all yayyyy. And to my surprise I was informed that there is other trans identifying individuals already employed here.

Getting off topic, my apologies.

Personally I would consider myself as DADT & not stealth. I have been working here just shy of 3 months. Other then HR no one else (to my knowledge anyways) knows that I am transgender. Not my supervisor, leads or coworkers. My gender identity has not been brought up or questioned. BUT if I am asked I will NOT lie NOR go out of my way to hide the fact that I am a transgender male.

In my opinion with stealth and DADT the difference starts & ends with your response when/if your gender identity is questioned. Not knocking anyone that lives stealth, DADT or flamboyantly outloud. To each their own and we all have our own reasoning behind our lifestyle choices. There are pros & cons to each choice, do whats best for you.

For me… I dont climb on top a building everyday and shout ” IM A TRANSGENDER MALE!!!”, but if I felt like it or my brothers needed me to stand with them in solidarity.. Im there in pink, white & blue!!

I hope I have provided clarity on my views and opinons about living stealth & how I choose to live my truth.
And if I havent, feel free to ask me to elaborate.

As always follow me on social media.
IG: fullyawakedking
Fb: Kristian King
SC: selfmadekris
YouTube: MrImanKing

Thanks again for looking through the peephole. Until next time…

-Iman King

Kris, meet testosterone.

Welcome back it has been a while. Sorry for the delay. A lot has happened since my last blog, as you can imagine for a young unapologetically black transmale.

Anyways focusing on positive side. I have recently become more dedicated with my work out routine. Found a full benefit job. Decided to renew my vows. And only 3 more months on papers.

As far as my transitioning I have a made a conscience decision to now medically transition.

I have gone through HRT before in the past but this time I have set goals & will continue to have HRT help me acheive those goals.

I put my Rx in and paid for it so it should arrive within the next few days. I will be taking testosterone in the form of a topical gel. 1 gram rubbed onto the body in various areas every day.

I am anxious about returning to HRT for a few reasons. I do not want to rush or force my puberty. And Im not extremely excited to give my already hairy body a boost in hair manufacturing. Ha ha.

All and all, I am pleased with my decision to begin taking horomones again. I will start a new chapter of my transition & allow myself to experience different qualities of transitioning.
Thanks for sticking with me readers & look forward to see this handsome intellectual creature again.

As always follow me on social media.
IG: fullyawakedking
Fb: Kristian King
SC: selfmadekris
YouTube: Kristian Iman King