Failing at HRT, again x6 maybe 7..

πŸ™„πŸ™„

But this time it’s not totally my fault..

Ok, well maybe it is..πŸ€”

So as you know by now I have relocated to upstate NY which means I SHOULD switch my PCP to a new doctor and pharmacy in the area. And herein lies the problem; I had just found a doctor a liked. My original plan was to keep my same physician in the Bronx and just go once a month to refill my prescription and get blood work done. Then I started thinking, well that isn’t very smart. Which it still doesn’t seem to be. But I really rather not go through that aniexty of a new office, nurses and physician. So it may not be the smartest or cheapest way; but it is (what seems to be) the least stressful option.

Iman is a habitual procrastinator. Iman has problems making appointments. Iman has his priorities all mixed up..maybe..

So long story short I have yet to either switch to a new PCP or to see my old one and fill my prescription. So now am behind on my therapy…. Yet again. In my defense however; my stress & aniexty are still high from the move, new surrounds, new job, new everyday life. Not to mention working 6 days a week 50+ hrs & traveling every weekend, I have only had 1 or 2 chances to do either. We all know it takes me a few times to actually jump off the porch.

Lately I seem to have been doing better at adjusting and this should only be the only week I miss. Next weekend is self-care and I will be taking some down time to really recharge and relax. Life got overwhelming for a minute.

But I brought up this “fail” (again) at HRT because this time I do have a few changes to announce some good some bad. 

If you are up to date then you are aware that my dosage has changed again, this time amount and administration. Currently I am on .50 subcutaneous weekly injections in the fatty tissue of my belly.

So immediatly following the first week of the shot I experienced a 100% in my sex drive and overall physical stamina and endurance. Followed by a lost of appetite, which is weird because the actual amount of food I could consume in one sitting drastically increased.

Rounding my second weekly injections I starting experience “growing pains” in my muscles in my chest and upper back before I started my home work out routine.

After the first few days following my missed shot I started experiencing mood swings, a decrease in sex drive and an increase in appetite.

I don’t know exactly why third time in therapy it seems to be such drastic and apparent changes but I would like to assume that it’s because I switched from intramuscular to subcutaneous; I have absolutely no facts or proff of that, besides my gut feeling and know how my body normally reacts to therapy.

Hopefully this is the last missed shot and the last restart of HRT. With me, we can only hope for the best πŸ˜‚πŸ€ž

-Thanks for reading

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Gendercat’s NEW “Fascination Sleeve(stand alone)” ***customer review

Hey everyone, back with another review for a new awesome product at  http://www.gendercat.com

So today I am doing a 2 WEEK Review. I normally don’t review anything I haven’t used for less than a month because… Well let’s make sure something really works or doesn’t before we go writing things all over the internet.

This awesome new product made it’s debut in Burlington, Vermont last Saturday at the 15th annual Translating Identity Conference.

See my quick wrap up here: 

So the Fascination Sleeve stand alone is basically what’s available in the hard textures of gendercat’s packers… But stand alone. Fits in your hand. 

The best part of this new invention is it’s dual purpose also acting as a pumping device. The ridges in the inside combined with suction is similar to the well known Fleshlight in comparison.  It currently comes in 2 sizes small and large. Available in a wide range of colors including skin tones. 

I personally enjoy the new stand alone fascination sleeve. I quickly outgrew the smaller size and had to upgrade to a large. But no complaints there. No pain even after extensive use(not that I’m recommending that) and it has also increased my stamina now that my penis is becoming use to direct stimulation.

Watch my YouTube review here:

Approaching 90days HRT

Hello readers, it’s been a few weeks since I gave y’all any update on HR therapy. 

Well I believe this go round I am currently approaching 90 days in hormone replacement therapy. This particular time in therapy I have decided to stick it out with injections and I must say at first it was unpleasant.

However I have switched from intramuscular injections in my thighs to subcutaneous injections in my belly. Much easier for me personally because the shorter needle gives me less aniexty and since it’s not as deep as intramuscular I don’t experience feeling a needle piercing my muscle.

So update on my dosage: I am now .50 weekly subcutaneous.

This will be my 3rd week doing subcutaneous self injections so I figure I would do a video showing how I do that and explaining a little bit more in depth on my feelings out looks and expectations this time in therapy

So the first 3 months this time in HRT is basically equivalent to the previous times minus I knew what to expect it just happened slightly more rapidly.

Also seems like either the more my body is introduced to hormones or just me being older this time around that I and completely getting better results from therapy. 

I am still experiencing some body fat shift in my chest, waist and glutes. Steadily increasing in over all body hair. And a beautiful surprise of new placed facial hair and darkening/thickening of hairs that have been with me from the very beginning. 

I haven’t had such an incredible in energy and stamina since my first time in therapy (’14-’15). But I love it. Feels like I have also gained in total strength I’ll know that for sure in my next trip to the gym.

My bottom growth has returned bringing my sex drive back with a vengeance. I really could do with out the random boners. I can’t say much for actual growth because I never lost what I gained and I have also took up pumping so I can’t really judge what’s from horomones and what’s from pumping.

I am excited to see how the change from intramuscular to subcutaneous will effect the progress of my therapy.

Thanks for dropping by !!

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4 weeks in HRT *(again, again)

A month strong (minus one hiccup) in hormone replacement therapy πŸ™ŒπŸΎ

The first few weeks are the same every time. Subtle changes in the body here and there; if you know what you’re looking for.

What I can say restarting therapy so many times on different dosages has allowed me to see and understand the effects of my levels vs the amount and speed my body goes through certain changes.

Recap:

Original Dosage : .25
Biweekly

Original Gel Dosage : 1g /day

Restarted Dosage : .50
Weekly

Restarted Gel Dosage : 5g / day

Current Dosage : .25
Biweekly

 

My first levels ever test came back a little over 900. Definitely not good. For those who don’t know target testosterone levels for me are 600-850. *2014
Being more knowledgeable now I also notice that each time I reentered therapy my levels reacted differently excluding the change in dosage. As I suspected back then; the more on the low side my levels are the more rapid my body experiences the “re-puberty”.
So setting my own standards I am putting my target T levels at 650-750. Small window but it’s my transition so I think it’s fair I set my goals and limitations.

Looking back on all the times I began HRT I think the most evolved trait due to the introduction of hormones would be hair. Not so much the end result but the actual journey. To come from a place where peach fuzz took months to come in and regrow and was so thin and light it looked like my hairs could be wiped off. To now where legit stubble arrives at just under a week and and returning sporadic dark whisker patches on the bottom of both of my cheeks. And the icing on the cake my legit stache connects to my valid chin whiskers to make a struggling goatee. None of which I could say I had before. Wont even get started on the chest , belly and back hair.

In & out. Up & down the only thing that seemed to noticeably fluctuate was my weight, fat distribution & sex drive. Still I’ve heard unstable levels over time can be a health concern. But I’m sure everyone here already knows not to follow be behind me. πŸ€·πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈ

Personally each time in therapy got a little easier. I understood more. I got insurance. Overcame my phobias of needles (now I just don’t like them). And best of all I’ve learned how to make hormones a priority and actually stick to some type of schedule.

Back to present day…

Same changes around the same time period as the first time in hormone replacement therapy. Maybe a little more prudent because i.e. this isn’t my first rodeo. Hair was already growing there. Fat had been redistributed before. Adam’s apple had already enlarged etc.

Nothing magical…

Wish I could have more to share but the first month is usually boring.

If my calculations are correct my first home self injection should be coming up soon so be on the look out for that.

 

Thank you to all my readers !
-Iman

Living with bipolar depression and anxiety.

 

Or should I say “battling” πŸ€”

Either way I have been “struggling” with this mental disorder as a child. Yes as a child πŸ˜”. Sadly this has been an ongoing battle for as long as I can remember.

It makes life difficult but not impossible…

Let me take you back as far as I can remember;

I was around 5 years old. I had recently been told I was adopted by my mother. As a bright kid I understood what that meant but also as a care free child it didn’t make much sense. I only knew one parent. My mom was my mother irregardless to anything.
Going through court appearances & learning to spell my new name was trying but it didn’t affect me that much (or so I thought).
After i turned 8 I became what was; at the time, “a rebellious child”. My mother started receiving phone calls from the school, I was misbehaving at home & just seemed to always be the one that “did it”… But to me I was just a kid.
So my mom did what most parents did for an over active hyper child in the 90s πŸ™„ took me to a therapist.
And just like that boom πŸ’₯ I was diagnosed with ADHD and depression. I didn’t grasp what that was at all. I knew in the mornings I had to take a pill and at lunch everyday at school I had to take my medicine.
I can’t recall feeling all that different on the antidepressants. But the meds for my attention disorder well they did a number on me. Mostly for the better because I was physically able to keep still with out feeling like I was going to explode. So I guess the did they job.
Skipping a few years into the future I’m approaching my 11 birthday and my favorite phrase and answer for everything was ” I don’t care” at first it was shrugged off my mother. However by Christmas my response to what do I want from was still “I don’t care”. Looking back at in now what i thought was just a phase was a sign to deeper mental problems that would reveal themselves later on in life. Because when the rebuttal to my phrase was “Well what do you care about?” I really didn’t have an honest answer.
So that went on for more than a year. That was my first time dealing with my depression; not knowing exactly what it was at the time. Then the following 2 years were extremely difficult. Experienced my mother having a break down at the lost of her mother, the lost and abandonment I felt during hurricane Katrina and ultimately the lost of my grandmother weakened my strength ever more so. It was during this time that I could be honest with myself that I had a problem. But I down played it a chalked it up to PTSD & not having a loving environment. I had ups and down over the next decade or so.
Fast forwarding to 23 years old when I realized that my depression can in fact be cropping. It was in this 6-8th month breakdown I had 2 suicide attempts, constantly went missing for days & wouldn’t leave the house for months at a time. That was the first time I really reached out for help, professional help. Needless to say I could have used it 4-5 years sooner, but better late than never.
Can’t say this story has a happy fairy tale ending because to this day my life is a struggle dealing with the lack of capability to control my thoughts & emotions all the time and that’s putting it nicely.
I had another breakdown that almost wound me up in psychiatric hospital at the age of 25.

My mental disorders do not define me nor what I can accomplish in life. The do make up a part of who I am but it is not the biggest nor most important part of me.

I am Strong. I am Determined. I am Resilient.

Mental disorders like bipolar depression, PTSD, anxiety, schizophrenia etc are serious issues in our community. They aren’t talked about and even less likely treated or monitored.

So if you have a friend , family or know someone that suffers from these or any mental condition or disorder please let them know you are there for them; sometimes that’s all we need.

Thanks for listening..
-Kristian Iman

First self injection in 2 yearsΒ 

Yes newsflash people Kris is back in HRT and back on injections. If you’ve been here then of course you know I’m terrible with my medication. And if you’re just getting here… well, welcome to the shit show.

Recap. It’s been about 3 months since I switch from injections to the Gel. And it’s been about 6 weeks since I’ve basically dropped out of HRT.

What better time then now to get back into the swing of things, right?

It’s been sooo long since I did a self injection the anxiety I have towards needles hit me like a damn truck. But being that I was in the clinic and this was my first self injection class I had no choice but to find my balls and stick myself

After profusely sweating for about 7 mins. Several attempts at actually having the needle make contact with my skin. A handful of cuss words. And of course a few “no I don’t want to, you do it!”‘s (my nurse was the real MVP) I finally gave it all I had, the needle pierced my skin, I pushed the plunger…

And poof, just like that it was all over.

Apparently back in 2014 I skipped the viable skills I needed to learn on how to properly self inject. Not to mention the fact I was given the wrong gauge needlesΒ πŸ™„.

Nevertheless I came and I conquered my fear !!!

My originally dosage for the year was .5 weekly. I hated it. A shot EVERY week, nah. So now that I’ve switched physicians my new dosage is a comfortable .5 biweeklyΒ πŸ™Œ.Β These seems manageable for me.

So this week I will be setting up, preparing & injecting my own shot. And btw shout outs to my nurse !!!

Stay tuned for how I deal with being back in HRT with injections.

 

Testosterone x4

Yes yes your favorite guy is back in HRT !

Giving it a good try yet again πŸ€·πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈ. Approaching my 26th birthday and I realized I ain’t getting any younger so I might as well try to get this therapy thing right.

But 😩 being off injections for quite some time and maybe being this is the upteenth million time shit is hitting me like a truck.

Within a matter of days I’m eating like a horse again , regained my strength and stamina & of course my sex drive. Got the fuzzy wuzzy syndrome going on not to mention the flame on moments.

Still nevertheless feeling more confident than I have even been with this time in therapy. I look forward to my second class on self injections. The responsibility with keeping up with doctor visits , Rxs , refills , supplies etc. I fill more confident in my ability to make this a priority.

Just within the few 2 weeks ,of course there’s not to report soldier. Carry on.

 

Finally dropped the YouTube channel !!!

 

πŸ€·πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈ well almost dropped it
🀣🀣🀣🀣

Seriously. It’s been going on 2 years since I was suppose to make my official appearance on my own YouTube channel. Yes. My own personal YouTube channel. If you have been following me since before this blog then you might be familiar wit some other channels & co-channels I have been a part of in the past. Maybe even stumbled across one of my accounts as a teenie-bopper. But this time it’s the real deal. πŸ’―

So the channel is still under minor reconstructions but it is available so make sure you hit this link πŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎ

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgw_LAtfNAp2WHLtOs4PZuw/featured

And subscribe ; wouldn’t want you to miss anything. 😁

The official trailer will be dropping August 26th followed by the intro making its grand debut 2 weeks later on my 26th birthday; September 10 πŸ”₯πŸ”₯ Definitely don’t want to miss either!

But if you still need convincing here’s a quick run down on what my channel will be offering (😏for now)…

1. Follow my life as I continuously transition. Of course that’s on here, duh πŸ™„. As always I will be an open book regarding my transition. Doctor appointments. Stats & levels. Changes & growth. The works. (Also might throw in a open tranzguy forum , but for now thats low key information)
2. My most current hair style endeavor. Dropping the man bun, retiring the thottyboy braids and testing out the “waves” ;again completely detailed. Brush & wolf sessions. Hair cuts & products. The do’s & the don’t’s. Since this my first legit attempt most likely many, many epic fail moments.
3. My road to peak physical fitness. One of my least favorite subjects, taking into consideration that I love junk food and I’m too lazy to work out. Bare with me if this is the highlight of your subscription. But it will entail my diet methods equipped with superfoods smoothies, home exercises, meditation etc. Maybe even throw a yoga day in there.
4. Traveling adventures. Even though my travels have slowed within the last year there is still ample footage and wacky adventures just waiting to be published. No matter how much I don’t like them I can’t seem to help meeting new people.
5. Reviews & Promos. Insider information: I have partnered with a new prosthetic company and can’t wait to tell you about their products and services. Also I think I’ll give Yelp a try. Ha ha 😜just kidding. If you ask me this is what most people will stick around to watch.
6. Raw footage. Saved the best for last. Whether you are an adoring fan, fumed hater or creepy stalker. Get ready for some unedited , unscripted and uncut scenes from the life of yours truly. So if all else fails come be nosy πŸ™ŒπŸΎ

Great! Now that I have your attention; here go subscribe πŸ‘‡πŸΎπŸ‘‡πŸΎ

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgw_LAtfNAp2WHLtOs4PZuw/featured

It’s literally 2 clicks πŸ‘πŸΎ you can do it!!

If you are still not convinced that’s fine too. I appreciate you stopping by and reading my blog. (My readers usually get the scoop first anyways) Don’t think as just a reader you aren’t appreciated. You are just as important as any of my fans on any of my social platforms. ❀️

Pick & Choose. Mix your potion.
Catch you there.

Instagram: iman.da.god
Facebook: Iman King
Twitter: imandagod

My life as a “Cute” grown ass man..

Some people have cute smiles. Some people have cute personalities. Some people have cute bodies. You can see where I’m going with this.

I have way too many cute attributes. Especially as society expects a grown man of color to be portrayed as.

Now before you think I’m sucking my own dick let me explain I am no way in any form bragging on my cuteness. Honestly the shits not all it’s cracked up to be after age 5.

Just to emphasize; I went through an ugly duckling phase. Weirdly enough I was an adorable little girl then matured into this awkward prepubescent and then evolved in to this adolescent social butterfly.

Between the ages of 5 – 9 I was adorable my dimple would always get my way and my thick eyebrows and hyperjetic facial expressions got me out of almost anything.

As a child I always heard “you are so cute ” “oh wow she is so adorable” I’d give a little fake smile yada yada.

Fast forwarding here cause we are getting off track ; Now at almost 26 years old this “cute thing” does more harm then good in soooo many different ways. Yes of course I’m going to explain.

It’s is so hard to look my age. A simply task, taken for granted; that so many of you do naturally. It’s the 8th wonder of the world for me. I struggle from what style clothes I should wear. The way I wear my hair. Even the way I walk into a business or establishment. It’s a bother it is. And it’s rooted in the basic fact that I have a cute face. When you hear cute facial features your brain doesn’t necessarily think “man” now does it. So put a cute face on a individual the size of a teenager most likely in a PokΓ©mon Tee plus the amount of facial hair (mainly peach fuzz) of a prepubescent male. You see a sweet innocent cute young man. In some instances I’ve gotten as young as 14 (Caucasian) an in the rare occasion besides when someone guesses my correct age I’ve only gotten as old as 24 on a good day. You know nice suit fresh shave pep in his step kinda days.

Damn this cute face.

Mistaken identity; believe it or not me being so often perceived as a cute little young boy I get mistaken as such like for real. I’ve gotten stopped for being “truant” at 11:30 on a school day. Getting carded while my young barely legal associates walk right on through. And yes even embarrassingly enough mistook for a son when I was a boyfriend. Issa boyfriend. More recently being hit on by girls that are barely half my age. That’s appalling and disturbing to say the least. Not to mention that 16 year olds are staring to look at attempt to act like grown women. But this hasn’t just happen. This has been going on for quite some time in my liddo ol life. Interesting story about my first age ain’t nothing but a number till ha ppl find out scare. But will save that for another day. Point is when you look young you like shift into a whole other age bracket. And that sucks when it’s like been there done that.

Not being taken seriously. One person has a pit bull as a watch dog , another person has a chihuahua as a watch dog. Which person to you think is getting robbed more ? Maybe an extreme analogy but stay with me. Because this cute attribute makes every day like stressful to some extent. Especially when a person like me is already wary of relationships with other humans. Nice guys finish last but cute guys never finished. When you suffer from a cute personality people often see you as docile calm and in no way aΒ  threat. And it’s not like a brightly color “oh that’s cute but that shit can fuck me up cause it’s probably poisonous”. Its like that kid that stalks a harmless butterfly because it’s “cute” and then squashes it because it’s in now way shape or form dangerous.

With that being said take into consideration that I am that cute little butterfly every day of my life.

 

 

So I ask you is being cute all that it’s cracked up to be

Empty promises

Well hello everyone. I’m gonna skip past the ‘my faults’ & ‘Ive been caught ups’ , Y’all know my ADHD be having me stretched too thin to blog all the time. Plus my life really isn’t that interesting so I don’t have much to blog about. I literally need a months worth of adventures to have an intriguing entry.

Anywhose…

Picking up where ever we left off 3/12 would have been my 3rd month consecutively in therapy but I could say less because if you are an avid reader then you know.
So technically this is my 12th week in therapy and my 9th week on hormones.

Long story short work schedule got crazy , cut loose on vacation , and I still don’t like needles. 

I’ll take a minute to point out that lately I have been asked what’s the side effects of going on and off hormones or skipping multiple doses. Personally I have never experienced any negative effects due to lack of doses. If I can remember correctly the main warning concerning dosage was not to take more than prescribed, which I’m pretty sure everyone knows that. Also I recall coming across articles , blogs & media about individuals having to pause or even stop taking hormones completely due to medical reasons and sometimes even surgeries. 
***Just a reminder majority of the changes your body experiences while on hormones are either permanent or can take years to revert depending on your body , the length of time on & your dosage amount.
SWATBS.,

After a nearly 3 week hiatus I found the courage to drag my black ass to my doctor…. Only to find that my primary doctor was no longer at that location.. fortunately I still had my same crew of nurses there. 

Not much had changed during the 3 weeks I went missing in actions. Not sure how it effected my beard growth because lately I’ve been solely working on a baby goatee. My attitude has been up and down anyways due to the stress of adulting. Felt a major shift in my appetite , going 2 days with out a hot meal not notice it & I lost about 7lbs.

Seemed to have a little drop in energy but still could achieve top ‘get up & go speeds’ if I get a good running start.

The most major change was my sex drive. After a week and a half with out the stuff my libido sky rocketed & I felt like the main character of a Zane book. Going in to the 3 weeks cold turkey it’s like my dick broke. I had no drive or desire what so ever.

Now my first 3 days back on my sex drive is through the roof so it’s safe to say that libido is the first prisoner to be pardoned by the warden.

Also decided to make another sad attempt to grow a beard. 7 days no shave and I have annoying stubble patches under my cheeks right below my jaw bone.
I feel a little under the weather so I can’t really report much on energy or stamina.
Y’all know I’m a man of few words. 
All of my media sites are under construction so stay tuned…
✌