Some people have cute smiles. Some people have cute personalities. Some people have cute bodies. You can see where I’m going with this.
I have way too many cute attributes. Especially as society expects a grown man of color to be portrayed as.
Now before you think I’m sucking my own dick let me explain I am no way in any form bragging on my cuteness. Honestly the shits not all it’s cracked up to be after age 5.
Just to emphasize; I went through an ugly duckling phase. Weirdly enough I was an adorable little girl then matured into this awkward prepubescent and then evolved in to this adolescent social butterfly.
Between the ages of 5 – 9 I was adorable my dimple would always get my way and my thick eyebrows and hyperjetic facial expressions got me out of almost anything.
As a child I always heard “you are so cute ” “oh wow she is so adorable” I’d give a little fake smile yada yada.
Fast forwarding here cause we are getting off track ; Now at almost 26 years old this “cute thing” does more harm then good in soooo many different ways. Yes of course I’m going to explain.
It’s is so hard to look my age. A simply task, taken for granted; that so many of you do naturally. It’s the 8th wonder of the world for me. I struggle from what style clothes I should wear. The way I wear my hair. Even the way I walk into a business or establishment. It’s a bother it is. And it’s rooted in the basic fact that I have a cute face. When you hear cute facial features your brain doesn’t necessarily think “man” now does it. So put a cute face on a individual the size of a teenager most likely in a Pokémon Tee plus the amount of facial hair (mainly peach fuzz) of a prepubescent male. You see a sweet innocent cute young man. In some instances I’ve gotten as young as 14 (Caucasian) an in the rare occasion besides when someone guesses my correct age I’ve only gotten as old as 24 on a good day. You know nice suit fresh shave pep in his step kinda days.
Damn this cute face.
Mistaken identity; believe it or not me being so often perceived as a cute little young boy I get mistaken as such like for real. I’ve gotten stopped for being “truant” at 11:30 on a school day. Getting carded while my young barely legal associates walk right on through. And yes even embarrassingly enough mistook for a son when I was a boyfriend. Issa boyfriend. More recently being hit on by girls that are barely half my age. That’s appalling and disturbing to say the least. Not to mention that 16 year olds are staring to look at attempt to act like grown women. But this hasn’t just happen. This has been going on for quite some time in my liddo ol life. Interesting story about my first age ain’t nothing but a number till ha ppl find out scare. But will save that for another day. Point is when you look young you like shift into a whole other age bracket. And that sucks when it’s like been there done that.
Not being taken seriously. One person has a pit bull as a watch dog , another person has a chihuahua as a watch dog. Which person to you think is getting robbed more ? Maybe an extreme analogy but stay with me. Because this cute attribute makes every day like stressful to some extent. Especially when a person like me is already wary of relationships with other humans. Nice guys finish last but cute guys never finished. When you suffer from a cute personality people often see you as docile calm and in no way a threat. And it’s not like a brightly color “oh that’s cute but that shit can fuck me up cause it’s probably poisonous”. Its like that kid that stalks a harmless butterfly because it’s “cute” and then squashes it because it’s in now way shape or form dangerous.
With that being said take into consideration that I am that cute little butterfly every day of my life.
So I ask you is being cute all that it’s cracked up to be
Peace & blessings Guys , Gals and Everyone in between.
I made a sad attempt at getting 2 blogs out in a week. I swear I don’t have that much to write about. New York springs are basically winter to me , so I stay indoors and cabin fever turns into writer’s block.
This a small therapy update.
5 days ago I switched to the gel. After missing a weekly injection for 3 time and honestly not really being upset about it, I decided to just switch to the gel. Luckily for me it was covered by my insurance and I’m still paying barely nothing.
Since I switched to gel & I have zero anxiety about “shot day”. 😂
I’m on a different type of gel then I had been on previously. But it’s basically the same. Instead of jar and a measuring spoons it’s 30 convenient individual tubes. It’s 5 grams per day instead of the 1 gram I was familiar with. It’s specific location is the chest , shoulders & upper arms; but we all know I don’t follow rules.
All in all the only negative thing I have to say about it is it’s a little more sticky then I expected and would like. But about 10-15mins after application it’s completely dry and no longer has the feeling of slight stickiness. I would compare it to the feeling of confusing the handsanitizer with the soap.
My last T levels were around 600 and I believe that a month of shots so probably have my levels checked again a month and some change on the gel.
Spoiler alert I’ve been on the gel less than a week and I already missed a day , typical Kris.
Smell ya later
Facebook: Iman King
Peace and blessings everyone, Kings , Queens etc.
This is going to be a little bit different blog than usual. The title is subliminally self explanatory. Real quick short story of exactly how I started my hair journey & a few fun facts of African American hair and styles over the years.
It’s been 6 going on 7 months since my last haircut. My original idea behind growing my hair out was to wear a natural afro. But before even a week into hair journey I snapped back into reality. The reason why I have never had a fro over 5 months old. A full head of my texture of hair has to be twisted or constantly platted. The contrast of the thickness and coarseness of my hair mixed with the laziness of myself when it comes to maintaining a hairstyle is just too much.
The big chop was in September of 2016. I’ll locate lost footage eventually. If I remember correctly it was a clean all around fade. Again at this point I was under the ridiculous impression that I was growing an afro.
Some where between October & November things started to get a little hippy-ish. I couldn’t take it and I ended up getting a lining and a fresh taper , leaving my virgin curls untrimmed and untamed at the top.
For some strange dumb reason the hair that grows around my knowledge knot in the back of my head is nearly the total opposite of the texture of the rest of my hair. It’s like “happy feet” I still have baby hair. It’s awkward and responsible for numerous ‘bad hair days’ in junior high. I thought the taper would solve the problem but alas it wasn’t high enough *sadface. So I went to my go to back up plan , “The Frohawk”. It’s always my plan B when I wuss out on growing a full head of hair. I can hide my baby hair in plain sight at the back of my Frohawk.
The Frohawk only lasted a few weeks in December, again trying to recall correctly, and by mid to late January I had broke down to a “High Fade w/ Curls”. It was a new year joke that I couldn’t pull off a man bun if I tried. But by the end of January it was no longer a joke. Chop , Chop.
A few bad fades and sad attempts at braids later I found myself finally getting my natural unlocked hair successfully braided for the first time in over a decade and a half. February 2017.
I’m not “tender – headed” but I didn’t exactly miss getting my thoughts and ideas braided into my scalp , ha ha.
And now here we are at the end of March and going into the 7th month of my hair journey and it’s hasn’t been a single day in the last 3 weeks that I haven’t thought about doing chopping it all off.
Blessed with the gift and curse of having hair that can defy gravity isn’t all daisies and roses. Luckily it’s still a pretty chilly spring up here in New York so beanies are still acceptable. It’s not without a great struggle that I can get my free hair in or under a snap back.
Since I have enough length to grip I usually keep my hair braided cornrolled or platted but we all have a bad hair day where it would be immoral to leave out your residence with out some type of headgear. I just seem to have had more hat days as my hair grows longer and my patience grows shorter.
Normally for me the half a year to the first year is the ugly stage on the growth timeline. To avoid that I plan on keeping my hair braided or platted untill at least June. Wish me luck.
Over the years of my adult and prepubescent life I have had just about ever hairstyle or some version of style. Fade, waves, dreads , clean just to name a few; but as always I’m looking for something new , something to test out.
I did some research on what is the “man-bun”, not a whole lot of recent information pertaining to POC; not that much of a surprise. The style seemed to only resurface at the beginning to mid 2000s. Now it seems to be popular with people of every ethnic background.
Originally the undercut was worn by people in poverty that couldn’t afford a barber with the skill and training to fade out the sides.
Personally I think I would enjoy the style because it gives me the opportunity to grow my natural hair out but only having to put in half of the work it takes to maintain it.
I’m not a natural hair “guru” , in fact I probably would be the worst to ask for tips on natural growth for POC. Honestly I do alot of things to my crown I shouldn’t. Or they say I shouldn’t.
I usually wash my hair every day; bad habit I picked up in the military, which of course in BCT it was beyond necessary. I put absolutely no type of anything in my hair; which is not for the lack of trying. I’m currently looking for a line of natural hair care products from a small business I can trust.
There’s been several occasions where my hair was combed through with too fine tooth of a comb; realizing now that the pain is a sign of split ends to come.
I don’t protect it from the friction of my sheets at night of the elements of the weather during the day.
It’s not like I don’t love my hair or respect my crown. I do my own thing & so does my hair.
Haven’t decided on the extent of the amount of documentation I am going to do during this hair journey, I mean shit I can barely make a stable weekly blog. But if my readers & viewers are interested I’ll try to add it to the line up.
Until next time
Fb : Iman King
Sometimes you meet angels. They look like regular people. But something is different; their energy, their vibe. You can feel it. It warms your heart. Gives you a feeling of joy, hope; that the world maybe isnt that bad of a place. I love meeting angels. Especially since the world is lately in such a dark space, filled with so much evil & animosity. I have only been luck enough to meet about 4 angels that I know of. But each was a blessing in its own way. Even if it was only momentarily. As the years pass I see less & less people (myself included) excited or even in a good mood during the holidays. Yes, times are different. Yes, the world has gotten darker. Yes, the holidays are now more commercialized then ever. BUT take it for what its worth. Make the best of it & at the very least be grateful, thankful and joyful that you have lived through this year because sooo many others cannot say the same.
Taking a small writers hiatus for the holidays… So ill catch everyone up in January.
Merry/Happy whatever you celebrate!!!
Social media handles:
FB: Kristian King
Also adding* ask.fm/inspiredtad for anonymous questions.
DAMNNNN testosterone back at it again with the bullshit!
Soo I refuse to believe that its the air that brought on this sore throat, yup I’m blaming it on our good friend testosterone. But in all seriousness its been a week since starting therapy & I have in the last 2 days have been suffering from a sore itchy throat. I can only describe it as feeling like I swallowed a thick peice of bread and its stuck behind my adam’s apple. Ugh.
Besides that I have had a temper flare up once that I ashamed of to say the least. In general I do find myself raising my voice more than usual & not (at the current moment) caring who I offend or hurt. This is completely different than how I am normally. This time I am being proactive about & being honest with myself knowing that I may have a (slight) problem controlling my temper.
Also my mood in general is VERY sporadic going from mania to depression and back again at random almost blink of the eye speed. Not fully blaming therapy for that because I was diagnosed as bipolar at a very young age, however I will point out that I dont believe the testosterone is helping; blah.
At least 3 of the last 7 days I found myself either taking off the top blanket in the middle of the or pulling off the covers completely. Ew I hate night sweats.
This morning during my morning leak I notice that my penis looked slightly different. Not bigger… Just different, fuller, maybe. Speaking of which, at least one day in the last week I have had an erection nearly all day; starting with morning wood and just never going away. Actually lately my penis has been extra sensitive & its cause some discomfort.
A few whiskers have been sprouting on my jawline but I dont think they are new per say just maybe a little more prominate & darker than before but that could be from finally shaving for the first time since the end of October not completely sure. Lately (within the last 5 months or so) I had experienced a constant spread of peach fuzz from my side burns across my cheeks and along my jawline, so I cant chalk that up to therapy either. Guess we’ll have to play the waiting game to get a clear guess at the cause of this whole “woolly mammoth” thing that I have going on.
Other than that I havent notice any significant changes, but then again I havent really been looking for any either.
7 days & 2 shots in is too soon to tell…
Thanks for dropping by & I hope everyone appreciates the increase in the amounts of blogs.
Till next time, peace & blessings
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So Ive been in this crazy new fast paced city for almost a month now & it has been an eye opener to say the least. I have learned sooo much about myself in these last 30 days. Things i thought I could never do on my own I’ve done. Things that bothered me that id never thought I’d have the confidence to speak up about I have. This has truely been a growth experience for me in every way possible; in every way imaginable. I cant really get into detail because its so much & I still cant quite put my finger on exactly what has happened or where the change and epiphany occured but stay tuned I should have it figured out before too long.
Just know if you have been following me since the beginning these blogs to come are from an entirely different man…
Just a little more than 48hrs into therapy and it feels like I’m already coming down with an oh so familiar throat cold. But with these artic new york temperatures it might be an actually cold, eh. Besides that I’ve felt an increase in energy (in a playful childish way) and this morning I woke up with “morning wood”. Still some tenderness near the shot site but that of course was expected since its been over a year for my last injection. Its not overly sore, painful or bothersome, and it actually could be a mind thing.
Had a random thought that this all could be a “mind thing” , like what if i was injected with a mere placebo; regardless of what the dr, script or actually vile said… Who really knows?..
My Dr didnt check my levels unfortunately before my first injection, which I was hoping for, I’ve been curious as to why since the winter started I’ve have this “woolly mammoth” thing going on with my face. But oh well, I’m assuming that she will draw blood and check my levels during my appointment next week.
So to the deets of everything and the jist of me returning to therapy. All of my blood work came back good minus the fact that my bad cholesterol is high and my good cholesterol is low. No big deal. My Dr just advised me to eat less greasy foods & do more cardio, blah.
I am currently on a weekly injection of .25. Seems kinda high for me, but the Dr is the one with the degree so for the time being im just gonna flow with it. If I’m not mistaken last time I was doing injections for therapy it was a biweekly dose of .25. Lets see how this goes..
On the mental side of things I’m slightly worried that going through therapy this time with this amount of testosterone will either bring on physical changes I’m not really keen on happening(anyways) too fast. Also on the backside of that even slightly less worried that it could cause extra testosterone in my body to turn into estrogen (rare cases but it happens). Overall however I have complete faith in my Dr and her knowledge & abilities, so yeah I’m gonna chill; kick my feet up and see what happens.
So now onto the changes…
Come on guys, its only been 2 days, ha ha.
But seriously even though I’m neither stupidly excited nor dreadfully fearfull I’ll make sure to keep my readers posted & try to keep up with all (if any) changes.
I appreciate all my readers; whether you drop by once in a while to catch up or if you’re subcribe to stay up to date in real time (*which by the way I sometimes blog days in advances before I actually post) with all my blogs. I know I dont many (if any) of you personally but it does mean quite alot to me knowing that some one some where is intrigued with me or my story enough to stop by and read my words. Yall are the real MVPs. 😃
Again like always, thanks for stopping by..
PS: If you have been looking for my vlogs on youtube, I havent forgot, I’m just waiting for my very special editor to free up some time cause I suck at editing (and recording). But hopefully I will have something up no later than the new year. Its the holidays; bear with me people…
Till next time ✌..
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FB: Kristian King
In less than 4 days I will (yet again) be leaving my hometown of New Orleans and venture off to another part of the US.
This chapter will begin this Saturday afternoon when I touch down in New York City. Focusing on my transition into successful manhood. During this time I will explore my many talents that have been dormant and suffocated for so long. Hopefully finding new skills as well.
I will be blogging as well as now vlogging alot more frequently and look forward to continuously having some kind of current update.
In honor of no shave november, today I will be ironic and blog about my facial routine.
Personally I feel like shaving CAN help facial hair grow. I’m not saying it does & I’m not saying it doesnt. However I DONT think it has any negative side effects.
For me, personally; shaving ALONG with my facial hygiene routine did help my facial hair grow.
If you know me then you know I have had problems in the past with schedule keeping so technically the routine I am about to explain is more of an outline than a exact dialogue. Ha ha. Bare with me.
1.) Wash your face
2.) Rinse your face
3.) Moisturize your face
**Not kidding folks all of those steps are important. Don’t skip any!
Going through my first puberty (more of a small growth hiccup) I was lucky enough to not have acne problems. Unfortunately I also had “not so great” facial hygiene. Since my face didnt require that extra attention as a result of acne.. I didnt pay it any attention at all.
Fast fowarding to a few years ago when I began my transistion & went through my 2 puberty. I would exactly call it acne, but my face definitely went through something. I’m assuming it was because of new peach fuzz poppin through un-used hair follicles, sweating more profusely & small changes in everyday activities.
So now I have to like wash my face everyday… Ugh
(just kidding, kinda)
After growing tired of popping pimples on my jawline & putting toothpaste on my cheeks; I started taking exquisite care of my face.
Washing your face in the shower every day is a duh, right? Yeah, but somehow I still managed to jack that up.
So my routine now is to have a separate towel for my face with a 3 day max use. I only wash my face with gold dial antibiotic bar soap or the white dove sensitive skin bar soap. I save the smell good soap for my body.
Next is a step that I used to half-a** all the time.
I rinse my face until its squeaky clean, literally. And usually once more after. No matter how “skin friendly” a soap says it is, not properly rinsing can clog your pores and cause a pimple outbreak.
Also,(here’s the part where its mostly an outline) I wash my face once when I get out of bed and once before laying down for bed. Not sure about the statistics or fun facts behind this, It just makes my face feel cleaner.
Do NOT OVER moisturize your face! That puts you back at square one, with an oily dirty face covered in gunk thats just not supposed to be there. Drying your face out can also be a con. But personally I rather be a little ashy than greasy.
Im not going to tell you what I use, (no one pays me for advertising, yet) but just listen to your body and try not to constantly over or under do it.
And that is how I finally learned how to properly wash my face at age 22.
Again, I am not a scientist nor do I have scientic proof for the following statement. This is my personal opinions and results.
When I started to feel blue about being “beardless”, I took it upon myself to be proactive and started to try and grow a legit beard.
Now when I say proactively grow a beard a mean I adopted the habit as if I had patchy stubble, instead of just sporadic peach fuzz.
I started shaving my (imaginary) beard every 2 to 4 days. Sometimes clean, but mostly trying different styles. Always using a sharp razor, shaving cream & after shave. Even faithfully brushing my beard & carrying my brush almost 100% of the time.
Occasionally doing smaller things I read online; like daily 10-15min facial massages, eating foods that promotes healthy skin and hair & home made mixture that stimulate hair follicles.
It took a while, but eventually I started seeing more facial hair. At first it was barely noticable. The longer and more strict I was with my invented routine the more changes I saw.
In the recent months I started seeing my imaginary beard come to life. Just barely, but its nice to have peach fuzz everywhere you want with connections. Gives me hope for when I shed my down feathers and grow into my big boy beard. Ha ha.
“Patience is key. Finding what individually works for you is the lock. And your beard is the door, open it up.”
NO SHAVE, NOVEMBER
No shave november is more than letting your beard grow, boycotting the barber & letting your inner hippy breathe. November is cancer awarenes month. (as well as transgender, diabetes & men’s health awareness month)
During November if you choose to participate in #NSN let your hair grow wild, free & unkept. This is done for a few different reasons.
To show support and solidarity to all those who have lost the ability to grow hair due to chemotherapy while battling any type of cancer & those that have passed because of it.
To raise awareness about all different types of cancer. If you are normally known to be clean and neat; you will arouse questions when you change to a more of a wild and free look. “Why?” Conversation starter!
To donate all of the money that you would normally spend on hair care products such as hair cuts and styles, razors and shaving accessories, relaxers, perm etc to a cancer charity.
No shave november is mostly known in the male community and is expected to bring thick wild facial hair from stubble to paul bunyan beards. But everyone can participate in #nsn , men, women & everything in between. You dont have to skip a hair cut & you don’t have to have to grow an overnight drake beard. No shave november = cancer awarness. As long as you spreading awarness you are paticipate.
And that my friends.. is the real story behind the misunderstood & misinterpreted #NoShaveNovember
Thanks for stopping by and see you next time 🌎✌
Peace & blessings
Yt: Kristian King
Well hello hello reader & peepers.
Allow me to extend a brief re-introduction. My name is Kristian Iman King. My associates call me Kris, my friends call me King & those who really know me call me Iman. I am 25 year young black man originally from New Orleans, currently living in Houston. And you have stumbled onto the blog of a young introverted black transman trying to find himself and make sense of this crazy world while doing so.
To my return readers… Yet again I find myself apologizing again for the hiatus. 2016 has been not so kind to me. But to my new readers welcome & you have come at the right time, or so it seems.
I have recently relocated from New Orleans to Houston, TX. I am currently experiencing life instead of just living it. Meaning instead of the ball and chain 9 – 5 I am practicing more of an “as the wind blows” kind of lifestyle. Hence me blogging again.
As far as my transition once again I have taken a break from therapy and focus more of myself inwardly rather than worrying about gender & transition. I have taken up a vegan/vegetarianism eating habit. And also focus more on physical well being and staying active. Mental wise I has decieded to expand outside of my comfort zone and experience new things. Out here in Houston everything is new to me anyways! Still working on a future YouTube channel (so be on the lookout)!
There isnt much else to say in this icebreaker. Im glad to be back and happy that you are here too.
Yall come back now, ya hear?
Fb: Kristian King