Dating as A Transgender

Many people have talked about this subject, and I have decided to hop on the band wagon. Ha ha. No seriously. A lot of people miss the actual important difference when dating someone who is transgender vs dating someone who isnt.

Of course the main difference is simply just the word transgender. Notice I say the word instead of actually “being transgender”. Because like most transgender individuals; we realize that it really boils down to that one word. 

Looking at it this way. A transgender male such as my self; either dating a woman who is transgender or a woman who is not transgender. Simply for example, I may have a preference but I do not discriminate.

Now dating someone who is also transgender means I don’t really have to explain in detail what it means to transition and whatnot because my partner has also experienced some type of transition. 

Of course I know that mtf / ftm are also very different transitional experiences but just grabbing the complete concept of transition from one gender to another is difficult without first hand experience.

Also friends and family are already aware; regardless of personal stance, with the term transgender and you don’t get bombarded with the typical “seeing a transgender up close for the first time” questions like:

  • So what was your name
  • Did you have the surgery
  • Do you have before pictures
  • So how do y’all have sex


Yes, I am very aware that you may still receive questions like this from family and friends of your partner. But usually they have already been briefed on what’s PC and what isn’t. Usually…

Vs dating a one gender woman’s whose family and friends MIGHT be familiar with what it means to be transgender. Even though media wise we aren’t shown in the best light all the time. I mean it is 2018. But apparently some people are still ignorant. Then not only do you risk being exposed to those stupid and sometimes triggering questions but you may face people in your partners circle that are more than just ignorant..  yes I’m talking about the transphobic.

Cause let’s face it. As a transperson most of us will not stand to be associated with someone who is transphobic for obvious reasons. But to a one gendered person those reasons and being associated with someone who is transphobic doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. But it would be a big deal to the partner of course.

Now do we see that this is a topic that doesn’t receive a lot of attention…. But really should…

 Again I am not showing favoritism. So like look at this from another angle. If yours truly is dating a one gender woman there is certain aspects of my body she would have more understanding, and I would have less explaining to do; as far as biology goes. Honestly pre/post/non operation status doesn’t matter; at one time both have share experience in the same sex body. (Hope I said that without offending anyone too much)

That is the only Pro I can’t personally vouch for… My apologies.

There’s always pro’s and cons to every relationship cis/one gender or trans; hetero or homosexual. But put the word “Trans” on something and people always go straight for the genitals; “How do you have sex?” A relationship period is more than just sex. Yup, sex with someone who is trans is definitely different, but sex with a little person would be different too. Let’s be a little more concerned with how people love instead of how they have sex.

Advertisements

Gendercat*** 3D Floating Testicles aka “Amazeballs” review

Well they’ve done it again over at GenderCat!!!

Of course we we’re all waiting for the STP to be released but floating 3D testicles ain’t half bad.

GenderCat also sometimes referred as GenderMender wowed it’s audience a few months back and released a pleasure / flesh light type of sleeve dual purposed for pleasure and pumping. Debuted publicly at the Vermont Translating Identity Conference. (Fascination Sleeve)

My promo code for a discount on fascination sleeves #ImanSleeve

So this new available add on to the already pretty neat prosthetics you can get at GenderCat still doesn’t cost you an arm and a leg. It doesn’t add an outrageous production wait time. It’s also available on just about any size, texture or color code.

I’ve had my Amazeballs for a little over a month. As always I am “fascinated” and “amazed” with my GenderCat product. I wanted to know more about packing with realistic testicles instead of the play perspective because there’s 24hrs in a day and personally currently I don’t spend not one of them having sex. However I do tend to sit on my ass alot. Ha ha.

The material inside is not a solid but some type of liquor so of course I was nervous because I didn’t want my nuts to bust, break my balls, etc; but after going on 2 month I am pretty sure they will hold up and withstand most.

” I haven’t been kicked in the balls yet “

I also decided to switch from an 6″ prosthetic to a 4″ intact prosthetic. Figured if the balls were different might as well step outside my comfort zone and try something else new.

(Yayyyy, now I get to do a review on the 4″ intact supersoft.)

I will save the jist of that review for a later day but I can say as a small frame guy I prefer 4″ supersoft in the winter.

Back to these amazing floating testicles.. not only does the skin on the sack rolls, pinches and moves naturally but there’s testicles floating around in there. I loved that the testicles were firm yet soft; completely life-like and natural. They even have gotten “lost” once or twice , moving from the lower natural spot at the bottom of my sack to being up close to my body and at the base of my penis.

They move and adjust like a biological scrotum and it’s so much more comfortable to wear especially in tight fitting boxer briefs. I notice without the add on of “Amazeballs” the sack seems whole and lacks the independent movement of each side of the sack. Causing more friction with movement which leads to adjustments and can cause the prosthetic to sit a unnatural way and be uncomfortable and even worse shift out of original placement.

“I still like the standard models, but who doesn’t like an upgrade…. Let’s face it balls are important.”

Again 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 for just about everything; from the product, to the company, to the customer service.

Check out GenderCat’s website here

Or check out some of my GenderCat YouTube reviews for other products like the 6″ Supersoft , Fascination Sleeve stand alone & helpful how to vids on the Self Adhesive Sheets

Don’t forget promo code (#IAmIman) for paid in full orders only !!!!!

Happy packing 

Underwear: GenderCat 
Socks: Hustlers
Photo cred: Kristian King

Dear LGB , T , QAI , etc

I fight back…

And we all know my blogs are unfiltered and I will read you your rights.

But apparently it would seem that my image had gone soft….

Just because I don’t address everything doesn’t mean I don’t see it or I don’t feel some type of way about it. I practice a lot more self care now and have greatly reduced the amount of stress I put myself through on a daily basis.

I still see the transphobia, the loss of unity within our community, the judgement, the shade, the hate, the comparison, I see it and it STILL makes me sick. I have just choosen to live more healthy lately.

Oh but I still see you and ya bullshit.

I don’t care who you are but I will not tolerate any negative energy, vibes or statements aimed at LGB , T or Q community and it’s individuals. With that being said emphasis on the “I don’t care who you are” ; meaning if you are part of any of the communities mentioned prior and think that because you are “part of the community” you are safe to say whatever hurtful, negative or triggering bullshit you want to those also in the community.

BECAUSE I WILL CALL YO BITCH ASS OUT!

” Iman, what do you mean? “

I mean exactly what the fuck I said. Cause apparently the last time I blogged about how we should protect and pick each other up in a calm reasonable manner no one listened so nowwwwwwww, now I gotta get ignant πŸ™„.
Just because you are a transman don’t mean you can down talk other Tguys on how the choose to transition or what they decided to do with their bodies.

Just because your gay/lesbian & one gender doesn’t mean you can question transgender people on why they “just didn’t stay gay/straight”

Just because you’re GNC does not give you the right or reason to misgender and judge those who choose to transition. AND VERS VISE.

Just because you are a heterosexual transgender individual doesn’t mean it’s ok to speak down or negatively on the trans folxs that identify as bi or pansexual.

Just because you identify as a lesbian doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to misgender and invalidate transmen.

Just because you identify as a gay male doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to misgender and invalidate transwomen.

Transmen. It is NOT ok to disrespect transwomen.

Transwomen. It is NOT ok to disrespect transmen.

Just because your are a transwoman it doesn’t make it ok for you to judge other transwomen by the way they choose to transition or live their lives.

Just because your transgender doesn’t mean you can misgender or judge individuals who identify as GNC or A gender.
If you don’t know by now I don’t play with all this damn hate and judgement inside our own community walls. I can’t stress enough that we ALL have to face the negativity of cis heteronormative assholes…. Let’s not do this to each other.

” Get your shit together people ! “

Social platform handles

IG : iman.da.god

Twitter rants: iman_da_god

AMOSC: Selfmadekris

Letter to my exes…

No , no don’t panic. This is not a petty blog..

Dear Ex,

What we had was special. At the time, I’m assuming; maybe not. That was then. This is me now. For whatever reason you didn’t make it to this chapter of my life; but that is neither here nor there now. I came to say that you taught me something. Wether it was a painful lesson or a bittersweet memory. No, you did not make me who I am today but you are forever part of my past. Something that can never be erased only learned from. However the promises I may have made, promises that I intended to keep; are no more. The past is the past for a reason. Irregardless to the facts and circumstances that lead you to becoming an Ex, I am grateful for all the learning experiences. And I am overjoyed to tell you that I am not the broken person you once knew… 

-I am Iman

I am a sensitive little b*tch..

No seriously…

Since I’ve transitioned and started living my truth I’ve allowed myself to really become in tune with my emotions and my feelings. Either that or I transformed into a sensitive little bitch πŸ™„πŸ˜‚

Being that I honestly don’t give a shit about what anybody thinks and having self awareness. Yes, I am more sensitive since I’ve transitioned.

It came on gradually after the initial breakdown my very first time in therapy but over time I noticed the shift little by little. I still have my dark humor but certain commercials or scenarios on TV had my eye all swelly and watery. And I don’t mean those deep ASPCA commercials with Sarah McLachlan singing in the background with close ups of helpless abused animals. But regular paper towel kid helps dad clean up mess , gives big hug and BOOM !; here come the water works. Then it got to the point where I would randomly think of a happy memory give a little chuckle and all of a sudden I have happy tears on my sleeve. When people tell me something that a normal person would just go “aww” and go about their day I’m clairvoyantly in a pile of empathetic borrowed emotions on the floor.

Not once was I like “Men Don’t Cry.”

But I applauded myself for letting my guards down and for once in my adult life truely allowing myself to feel. Feel everything. Not just happy and sad but a wide range of emotions.

So eh, if I’m a sensitive little bitch so be it …

The secret to my facial hair growth. v2.0

I’VE DONE IT!!!!!

I FOUND THE KEY TO GROWING FACIAL HAIR….

Sorry if you don’t smoke marijuana.. this maybe out of your reach unless you have pothead friends🀘😎

Yes. The key is weed.

As we all should know, marijuana has several helpful uses. Treating diseases like cancer. Helping mental disorders like anxiety. Improving appetite and cognitive function.

A Tbro of mine hipped me to the secret last year… I’m pretty gullible for old wives remedies and natural herbs for ailments. And of course it was always on hand with me 😎 especially at the time.

“Weed ashes bro.”

“Weed ashes bro?”

And that’s how it all began….

I originally started randomly ashing the blunt in my hand and rubbing on my chin. Didn’t really think too much of it and any new whiskers I came across I chalked it up to being remotely still somewhat in therapy. But as the months progressed and I again found myself weaned out of therapy the gains were still apparent, and still happening. So then I started to put more thought into.

Fast forwarding to a few months ago when I moved into my apartment (by this time I am convinced the ashes do help stimulate hair growth), from the first blunt I smoked in my house to this very day I have been ashing my blunts,joints, bowls etc into a small container. I knew that I would eventually find a way to combine the ashes with other natural products in hope to create my own beard oil/cream.

Almost to current time now..

About 6 weeks ago I ran across a unique concoction of natural oils that help facial hair growth AND that also didn’t smell like ass. So of course now I have to figure out how I was going to mix the ash and the oils & how I planned to apply it to my face.

4 weeks ago at the beginning of “No Shave November” I said fuck it and just went for it. At this point I have been out of therapy for just about 2 months. Also attended my Aunt’s funeral the first week of November so I was clean shaven to my normal stache and struggling goatee. 

Soo with all of the variables going in to the month of November compared to the gains documented during December I believe it’s safe to say; “By George! I think he’s got it!”

So with the confidence that I now I have in all this January will be my official documents of the gains from my “not officially named yet” beard oil. 😎

Never too old to discover your hidden talent. That’s why its called “hidden” talent.

-Iman

iAMi **FTM Beard Shop

Before I even talk about this product I have to say I loved loved loved it!!!!

So I opted for the full beard kit. Which includes beard shampoo & conditioner, beard butter & oil. I choose the beard kit because I’m over excited to graduate from baby beard & everything looks so awesome I couldn’t just try one product.

All of his products are homemade with natural oils & products. Plus he also offers several different style tshirts and even has transpride socks.

Package arrived within 2-3 business days if I’m not mistaken it was over the Thanksgiving break for me so I was out of town. But the owner did contact me to see if I had received my order. He was also in touch through my order to answer any questions I had.

When I got my beard kit everything smelled so natural and herbal & everything was clearly and cooly labeled I could barely wait to try it. 

The beard wash I ordered came in a small deodarant like container which was awesome to me so I didn’t have to worry about getting my beard so dirty since… Ya know.. I put it on my face. The natural ingredients had my face and baby beard all tingly suds well and it left my face squeaky clean.

The container needs a gentle shake as some of the oil settles during shipping but again it feels great and it leaves my face and facial hair feeling soft after letting it set for a few minutes as per instructions in the kit.

I use the beard butter before I go to sleep. I noticed after the first few days my baby goatee wasn’t dry or itchy even after a touch up at the barber. Also I felt as if my hair had became healthy and stronger.

I use the beard oil in the mornings or when I’m going to be out and about. Not really a particular reason other than it has a stronger smell than the butter and because I don’t want to wear oil to bed.

Its only been 2 weeks but I definitely give this product 🌟 🌟 🌟🌟🌟. From the time of order to delivery and even after when I had a few follow up questions I received excellent service and I can’t wait till my next purchase.

Buy yours beard kit and a ton of other products here:  

https://www.etsy.com/shop/iAMiBeardAndBodyShop
And don’t forget to use my official promo code #iamiman

Let’s talk How do you feel about living stealth* #WhatsUpIman

First off, too each their ownπŸ˜‡βœŒοΈ…

And I’ve said this multiple times., Personally I am DADT (don’t ask don’t tell). 

I also understand when people live stealth for certain reasons like safety or comfort. Just like those who choose to live unapologetically out loud like advocates.

Same as those who choose to go through legal transition, therapy & SRS; you do and live how best suits your needs and what is important to you.

So I can say that this is going to be a lengthy blog because this is more of an opinion than actual facts.

“…Because there is no way that you can fuck up every day living so bad that you might die.”

However I will say this… Eventually,now that I’m older and “cis passing” way more than the first time I blogged about this subject; I can see me living more out loud then DADT. I have taken this into consideration not only with my recent career change which puts my face out there more than before in the queer community but also because I CAN live my truth. I’ve never been one to rub my trans status it someone said face or always bringing it up in conversation outside of context. But I am fortunate enough that I can live my truth safely and comfortablely. Which not alot of trans and queer people can say. Those that can seem to forget that someone’s , guilty as charge. So I do see myself living a little more outloud in the future 😎

-Iman

A year of houselessness..

 ’16-’17 was a tough yearπŸ™„

From being dead broke recently divorced and packing up what little life I had left and blindly moving to New York…

To battling homelessness, heartbreak, extreme social anxiety & a complete fear and paranoia that everyone was out to destroy me…

And finally relocating to a small town, starting a career at a job I love, being financially stable and falling in love…

From the end of 2016 to a year later in ending in late 2017 life seemed to throw just about every curve ball possible at me. 

It started going downhill in Spring of 2016 as I struggled to understand my transition and where I wanted my new life to go I watched my marriage fall apart and what I that was my life explode. Not to mention the affair and jail time the year prior still causing me an extreme amount of stress.

Between my confusion in my transition and basically having my life turned upside down I began wanting to run. Run away from my problems. Run away from my mistakes. Run away from myself. So I did. I started running, or at least trying. 

Found myself leaving my home renting a room in a area of town where know  one knew my name, closing off from the world, barely even seen by my roommates but I didn’t seem to be escaping from what ever I was running from. So I ran farther. I ended up it Texas. Houston I believe. Paying weekly in hotel rooms, doing temp work, doing an assortment of drugs & trying to forget who I was/I am.

Eventually I ran out of money and mental strength to deal with people. By this time I believe I started to slip into depression. I still felt my demons on my shoulders, like I hadn’t ran at all. So I figure if I’m going to be broke, homeless and depressed I might as well go back to where it all started. Plus Texas is fucking stupid.

So somehow up I ended back in New Orleans, Metairie to be technical. A young broken man on the verge of a self destructive path. Fortunately I was taken in by my gay mother that had adopted me a few years prior. She tried her best to help me stand but mentally I was a complete fucking mess. And seemed like the more she tried to help the more it reminded me that my life used to be so great and it was completely falling apart all around me and there was nothing I could do about it only made me worse.

I went from being at depression’s doorstep to being hurled through the front door. Shit was bad. I mean like REALLY bad. Almost ended up in a psych hospital..

*Takes bong rip

Reaching my breaking point and still wanting to run away from it all, when the opportunity came for me to be able to run away 13000 miles away I took it.

Packed what I had left which ended up being a army duffle bag and 2 book bags and headed to the Greyhound station. I had no money in my pockets but I know if I didn’t do this and let my soul fly I would never get better & I might never figure out what I wanted to be in life.

“…But Son, what makes you happy?..”

You can read my blogs from my 26hr Greyhound bus trip from New Orleans to New York in my “Road Trip” section of my blog. 😊

Of course with no money in my pockets and not knowing anyone in NYC I ended up in the shelter system for the first few months and then renting rooms and eventually back in the shelter system. Seemed like everything was still going wrong. Getting lost. Being Robbed. Freezing temperatures. Injured at work. Losing my wallet. Getting played. 

But I felt like I had some how found what I was running to. I thought I was running FROM my problems but I was actually running to my life. My new life. The life my soul was searching for. Even with all the shitty stuff that was still happening I was happy. I felt like I made a decision that made me happy. Of course it wasn’t all shits and giggles and sparkles at first or for the first 6 months. There was times I wanted to give up but I refuse to just go home where I had found what I almost died searching for. So I stuck it out and eventually….

Well, eventually…😎

360waves, 12 weeks

Progress report. 

C’mon, you should know me by now.

Sooooooo , I have been slacking in the waves department due to work & traveling. Not to mention leaving important items such as durags, brushes & waves grease all over the United States while traveling πŸ™„

Anyways, every second is a second chance.

So it’s been almost 3 months since the big chop and the start of this amazing journey. Here I am 3 months and several hours of brushing later. 😎 I think I am doing pretty good.

Most recently trying to get back in track I’ve been using 3 different methods to try and continue making gains.

Connection Training.
I mixed 2 methods I picked up from fellow YouTubers. Click here: https://youtu.be/M36n07QXoRA to watch a video about my plastic bag/connection training.

COMPLETE brush sessions
Yes. COMPLETE brush sessions. Meaning 30 continuous minutes of brushing with different texture brushes. 10 minutes with a hard brush. 10 minutes with a medium brush. 10 minutes with a soft. At least twice a day, usually once after peel back in the morning and before the durag at night.

Combing my waves.
This method is somewhat still new to me and honestly I need to work on it to perfect it. But this method is helpful for weak sides, missed connections and stretching tight waves for corse hair wavers. This method is best during 4+ weeks into a wolf. The more growth the better. Combing against the grain then combing with the grain followed by a hard brush session. Seems simple, but I have did some damage the first few attempts. I personally do NOT recommend this method for novice or beginner wavers.

I still have a lot of gains to achieve and several hours of repair brushing sessions because I’m lazy and forgetful. But still spinning my guy.

Stay wavey , brushers.
-Iman