Social anxiety/trust issues + Personal Relationships = ???

Excellent question..

To this very day still solving this equation. Here’s what I’ve found so far.

My social aniexty and my distrust in people go hand in hand. My trust issues cause out of place and what some would call outrageous thinking especially in social interactions and relationships. My thought process on how to deal with and understand other people and how they interact was skewed a long time ago.

…like a glass plate once it’s broken, even if you gather all the peices; it will never be the same.

It is a daily struggle and an ongoing battle for me personally but I have learned that not everyone is out to get me. For the most part. I still think unrealistic pessimistic outcomes in certain social interactions. But not as much as I have in the past.

One of my coping methods that seem to be working is thinking, “What’s the worst that could happen?”. It sounds like thinking like that would actually increase my aniexty. On the contrary it helps. I am an over-thinker, can’t really change that and working on the way I think is still being, well; worked on. So no matter how outrageous and non-likely whatever crazy outcomes my aniexty cause me to come up with I let them play out in my head.

Most of the time these thoughts are so farfetched I end up laughing at myself and realizing how ridiculous I am. Some more realistic thoughts however do require some soul searching. For example: a lot of times I find myself stressing about what people’s intentions are with me. So I map out exactly what’s the worst that could happen if they are in fact out to hurt me in some way. I pretty confident in my ability to protect myself both physical and mentally. So instead of just wondering I prepare. 

The downside to this is it takes a lot of brain power to manifest these thoughts without hurling myself into some kind of depression. I would compare it someone being scared of a rollercoaster. They watching rare videos of people in rollercoaster accidents. Then look up exactly how rollercoasters work, how to spot defects and faults on the tracks; fully understanding the end and outs of the coaster and mapping out all the possibilities that could actually happen should they decided to get on that ride.

“Now that I’m actually writing this… You know what, this will probably only work for my weirdness.”

So technically I’m still working on the answer to the equations above…. 

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420 experiment; Stems.

The age old question, is there enough THC in stems to get you high????

I was forced to find the answer to this question πŸ™„

In between careers, low on cash lead to the event we are about to discuss. It was going on close to a week since I had a proper dose of THC. Stress levels were increasingly high and I had become desperate. Google assistant of course found some nice articles about cannis plants and the how much THC is in every part of the plant.

 So I had the GREEN light 

 Actually I didn’t really read the article top to bottom, I got my answer and I proceeded. Missed the minor note that it may cause headaches; on top of several other reasons I would have probably got a headache today anyways. Ohhhhh man was is bad I had to wrap some ice in a towel and put it in the base of my neck to fall asleep. Before that pain was so excruciating I could barely see street. 

The buzz wasn’t even worth. But there indeed was a 30-50mins period where I was back to my normal relaxed self. And the headache didn’t get bad till almost 8hrs later & it didn’t turn into migraine until 12hrs after the first rip.

It’s mostly likely nearly impossible to simply roll a spliff full of sticks and stems and it be very successful. But a grinder and a water bong did about as much justice as it could.

Would I suggest it on a regular basis, probably not. But hey I definitely know the struggle. It’s hard out here for a pimp.

They should just legalize it πŸ™„

The secret to my facial hair growth. v2.0

I’VE DONE IT!!!!!

I FOUND THE KEY TO GROWING FACIAL HAIR….

Sorry if you don’t smoke marijuana.. this maybe out of your reach unless you have pothead friends🀘😎

Yes. The key is weed.

As we all should know, marijuana has several helpful uses. Treating diseases like cancer. Helping mental disorders like anxiety. Improving appetite and cognitive function.

A Tbro of mine hipped me to the secret last year… I’m pretty gullible for old wives remedies and natural herbs for ailments. And of course it was always on hand with me 😎 especially at the time.

“Weed ashes bro.”

“Weed ashes bro?”

And that’s how it all began….

I originally started randomly ashing the blunt in my hand and rubbing on my chin. Didn’t really think too much of it and any new whiskers I came across I chalked it up to being remotely still somewhat in therapy. But as the months progressed and I again found myself weaned out of therapy the gains were still apparent, and still happening. So then I started to put more thought into.

Fast forwarding to a few months ago when I moved into my apartment (by this time I am convinced the ashes do help stimulate hair growth), from the first blunt I smoked in my house to this very day I have been ashing my blunts,joints, bowls etc into a small container. I knew that I would eventually find a way to combine the ashes with other natural products in hope to create my own beard oil/cream.

Almost to current time now..

About 6 weeks ago I ran across a unique concoction of natural oils that help facial hair growth AND that also didn’t smell like ass. So of course now I have to figure out how I was going to mix the ash and the oils & how I planned to apply it to my face.

4 weeks ago at the beginning of “No Shave November” I said fuck it and just went for it. At this point I have been out of therapy for just about 2 months. Also attended my Aunt’s funeral the first week of November so I was clean shaven to my normal stache and struggling goatee. 

Soo with all of the variables going in to the month of November compared to the gains documented during December I believe it’s safe to say; “By George! I think he’s got it!”

So with the confidence that I now I have in all this January will be my official documents of the gains from my “not officially named yet” beard oil. 😎

Never too old to discover your hidden talent. That’s why its called “hidden” talent.

-Iman