I am a sensitive little b*tch..

No seriously…

Since I’ve transitioned and started living my truth I’ve allowed myself to really become in tune with my emotions and my feelings. Either that or I transformed into a sensitive little bitch πŸ™„πŸ˜‚

Being that I honestly don’t give a shit about what anybody thinks and having self awareness. Yes, I am more sensitive since I’ve transitioned.

It came on gradually after the initial breakdown my very first time in therapy but over time I noticed the shift little by little. I still have my dark humor but certain commercials or scenarios on TV had my eye all swelly and watery. And I don’t mean those deep ASPCA commercials with Sarah McLachlan singing in the background with close ups of helpless abused animals. But regular paper towel kid helps dad clean up mess , gives big hug and BOOM !; here come the water works. Then it got to the point where I would randomly think of a happy memory give a little chuckle and all of a sudden I have happy tears on my sleeve. When people tell me something that a normal person would just go “aww” and go about their day I’m clairvoyantly in a pile of empathetic borrowed emotions on the floor.

Not once was I like “Men Don’t Cry.”

But I applauded myself for letting my guards down and for once in my adult life truely allowing myself to feel. Feel everything. Not just happy and sad but a wide range of emotions.

So eh, if I’m a sensitive little bitch so be it …

Advertisements

90 days in Dryden.

It seems like so much longer than that…

Only because I’ve done so much since September. Several trips to NYC, a few trips to Philly, a road trip to Vermont & solemn return home. Conferences, marches, birthdays, funerals, vacations, just becauses. My travels over the last 3 months were strenuous, interesting, enjoyable and even heartbreaking.

I’ve had ups and downs. Ha ha’s and oh shit’s. But still the end of 2017 was better than the beginning of it and for that I am totally grateful. 

My 360 wave journey has been a rough one but as it should be I hate dealing with my hair. I wanted to get a little more in shape and bulk up a little but… holidays 🀦. In good news in these few months I’ve got to try something amazing products and I can’t wait to see what type of Christmas goodies I get.

I didn’t think I would like this small village… Jury is still out, but I don’t hate it.

Here’s to new beginnings πŸ’―πŸ’―

Steven Romeo ** Solidarity Soaps & Candles

A small natural & essential oils, all handmade soap and candle business located in Nashville, Tennessee.

Mr. Romeo partnered with Mr Aydian Dowling, president of the Point of Pride organization and donated 50% of sales on select soaps and candles.

Now about his awesome product…

I got the transpride flag color 4oz candle, naturally. I’m still on the first layer (pink), I burn it a few hours each day. I’m a VERY heavy smoker and the candle neutralizes the smoke very well.

There’s not a whole lot of things I can say about this product… It’s a candle πŸ•―οΈπŸ˜ŽπŸ€˜. I am very pleased with it. 

But the owner Steven is good with customer service and his team even included a handwritten thank you note with my order, which was a nice personal touch. I was slightly worried about it breaking in the mail but it was packaged great and made it to me in 2-5 business day in one piece.

Definitely pick me up another candle in the future and maybe try my luck at a bar of soap.

iAMi **FTM Beard Shop

Before I even talk about this product I have to say I loved loved loved it!!!!

So I opted for the full beard kit. Which includes beard shampoo & conditioner, beard butter & oil. I choose the beard kit because I’m over excited to graduate from baby beard & everything looks so awesome I couldn’t just try one product.

All of his products are homemade with natural oils & products. Plus he also offers several different style tshirts and even has transpride socks.

Package arrived within 2-3 business days if I’m not mistaken it was over the Thanksgiving break for me so I was out of town. But the owner did contact me to see if I had received my order. He was also in touch through my order to answer any questions I had.

When I got my beard kit everything smelled so natural and herbal & everything was clearly and cooly labeled I could barely wait to try it. 

The beard wash I ordered came in a small deodarant like container which was awesome to me so I didn’t have to worry about getting my beard so dirty since… Ya know.. I put it on my face. The natural ingredients had my face and baby beard all tingly suds well and it left my face squeaky clean.

The container needs a gentle shake as some of the oil settles during shipping but again it feels great and it leaves my face and facial hair feeling soft after letting it set for a few minutes as per instructions in the kit.

I use the beard butter before I go to sleep. I noticed after the first few days my baby goatee wasn’t dry or itchy even after a touch up at the barber. Also I felt as if my hair had became healthy and stronger.

I use the beard oil in the mornings or when I’m going to be out and about. Not really a particular reason other than it has a stronger smell than the butter and because I don’t want to wear oil to bed.

Its only been 2 weeks but I definitely give this product 🌟 🌟 🌟🌟🌟. From the time of order to delivery and even after when I had a few follow up questions I received excellent service and I can’t wait till my next purchase.

Buy yours beard kit and a ton of other products here:  

https://www.etsy.com/shop/iAMiBeardAndBodyShop
And don’t forget to use my official promo code #iamiman

Let’s talk How do you feel about living stealth* #WhatsUpIman

First off, too each their ownπŸ˜‡βœŒοΈ…

And I’ve said this multiple times., Personally I am DADT (don’t ask don’t tell). 

I also understand when people live stealth for certain reasons like safety or comfort. Just like those who choose to live unapologetically out loud like advocates.

Same as those who choose to go through legal transition, therapy & SRS; you do and live how best suits your needs and what is important to you.

So I can say that this is going to be a lengthy blog because this is more of an opinion than actual facts.

“…Because there is no way that you can fuck up every day living so bad that you might die.”

However I will say this… Eventually,now that I’m older and “cis passing” way more than the first time I blogged about this subject; I can see me living more out loud then DADT. I have taken this into consideration not only with my recent career change which puts my face out there more than before in the queer community but also because I CAN live my truth. I’ve never been one to rub my trans status it someone said face or always bringing it up in conversation outside of context. But I am fortunate enough that I can live my truth safely and comfortablely. Which not alot of trans and queer people can say. Those that can seem to forget that someone’s , guilty as charge. So I do see myself living a little more outloud in the future 😎

-Iman

28 day plank challenge

Still attempting to make this body sexy…

So it’s been a few weeks since I started my fitness routine, sorry I didn’t post more updates.

But recently I’ve been hearing about this 30 day plank challenge ; and I’ve seen some pretty good results. A know all too well about the “front leaning rest position” all too well. πŸ™„ Thanks to an alphabetical battle buddy in BCT. 

I’ve decided to do less upper body and core training during this time so I can see if this challenge will work for me. 

So basically the 28 plank challenge is exactly what it reads. A month of daily planking with 2 rest days. For those who don’t kno what planking is , in layman’s terms; it’s holding still in the push up position engaging your core muscles. Keeping your back straight. 

Beginners usually plank anywhere from 10-30 seconds at a time. It can be quite a stretch to plank for a full 60 seconds if you have a weak core.

The thing I love most about core and ab exercises is they can literally be done daily with out the high risk of tearing and hyperflexion. Yeah you’ll get sore but no pain no gain. The interesting thing about planking to me is the vast amounts of muscle groups it targets and works on uses virtually no movement and provides resistance by using your own body weight.

Here’s to the next 28 days of daily planking.

Feel free to try this challenge with me 😎

My first holiday miracleΒ 

Yes I don’t really do holidays… Nor am I a Christian.. but, I do know around holiday time (November – December) most humans tend to get “jolly”; the holiday spirit if you will.

A few days after Thanksgiving. Also marking the 1 year mark from the first time I stepped foot on NYC soil… Err, um concrete.

So typical travel dysfunctional morning Iman type of Tuesday. Over sleeps, forgets to purchase ticket, gets lost in subway, can’t find gate etc.

This morning trying return home was as always planned out relatively easy and every goal seemed to be accomplishable. Nope. Of course not. Too easy.

One of my biggest pet peeves of traveling is waking up TOO early. Too early to get ready but too late to get comfy and fall back into a deep sleep. And of course this was the morning my brain and bladder picked to work in unison at an attempt to wake me up on the wrong side of the bed.

I combat both with pissing and pot. Ha ha. Made sure everything was packed and curled up back under my woman. Between the now relief of an empty bladder, the buzz of the bud and the warmth of my partner I found myself fighting a deep sleep quite a few times to say I was only laying down for an hour.

This particular bank card is known to give me headaches but today I was already prepared, or so I thought. Noted now, you probably shouldnt purchase a prepaid debit card with the expectation of being able to use it within the same hour πŸ™„. Rookie mistake. 

The nice people at Duane Read tried their best to get the inefficient card I have been struggling with for almost 3 months now to work. They even had to work some magic even involving a second register to get the card that I now have but probably still can’t use for the the next hour or so. Still, when I walked out the door I felt confident that everything was going to be alright.

Normally I know exactly where to find my gate since I have found my preferred provider for transportation back and forth from Ithaca to NYC. Oh yea but today I’m already off my game. I believe it took me 30-40 minutes to find my gate location. About halfway there I panicked when I realized that the card that I just put all of my cash on can’t be used for online purchases for 2 hours after reload. Or I’m assuming that’s why it wasn’t working. (Cause it works fine now just ordered from Solidarity Soaps)

So I’m in front of my departure gate frantically trying to re-re-re enter all this card information and time is ticking. It’s not looking good. “Error”, “Opps looks like we’re having trouble”, “try using a different card”. Now it’s 10 minutes till departure so I’m calling my boss to tell him there’s an issue, calling my friend to see if he can order my ticket, texting my woman to see if she’s still up. Just a freaking mess. 

The last person in lines goes through the gate so I approach the bus driver (mom’s always said the worse someone could do when you ask them a question is to say no). I explain to him my situation, or at least the relevant parts. My friend calls back “no dice man, tickets aren’t up anymore”. 
And then a holiday miracle happens… 
What’s understood doesn’t have to be explained. But I will say this next time you want to cuss out the employee because the don’t want to give you extra sauce, or angry with the cashier who won’t let you “slide with the 50Β’” , try to remember that is that individuals job, livelihood, income & the way the support themselves and their family. Don’t get upset because they didn’t want to risk it all for you… Just be grateful when you cross paths with an innocent soul who will…
-Iman

Thanks Guy πŸ˜ŽπŸ€—πŸ˜Š

Jaydn Moss ** Commission Art Review

Hey guys, gals & everything in between 😊

Today I’m going to talk a little about the ask guy that did the commission art for my logo that was on the “November fan appreciation giveaway” tshirts.

First off I love my logo 😍 and for all those that won a Tshirt I hope you do too.

I originally heard of Mr Moss’ art work from an Awesome Trans writer by the name Elliot Deline. I was pleased with the art as well as the commission prices.

After reaching out to Jaydn I found that he is very professional and understanding as well as a talented artist. He was in constant contact with me and worked closely with me to get the art just right. 

Jaydn Moss is also a fellow YouTuber and participates in awesome giveaways such as binders and commission arts for free. 

Visit his artist page on Instagram:
http://www.instagram.com/jayscommissions

Check him out on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/JaysJourney

Thanks again JaydnπŸ˜‡

360waves, 12 weeks

Progress report. 

C’mon, you should know me by now.

Sooooooo , I have been slacking in the waves department due to work & traveling. Not to mention leaving important items such as durags, brushes & waves grease all over the United States while traveling πŸ™„

Anyways, every second is a second chance.

So it’s been almost 3 months since the big chop and the start of this amazing journey. Here I am 3 months and several hours of brushing later. 😎 I think I am doing pretty good.

Most recently trying to get back in track I’ve been using 3 different methods to try and continue making gains.

Connection Training.
I mixed 2 methods I picked up from fellow YouTubers. Click here: https://youtu.be/M36n07QXoRA to watch a video about my plastic bag/connection training.

COMPLETE brush sessions
Yes. COMPLETE brush sessions. Meaning 30 continuous minutes of brushing with different texture brushes. 10 minutes with a hard brush. 10 minutes with a medium brush. 10 minutes with a soft. At least twice a day, usually once after peel back in the morning and before the durag at night.

Combing my waves.
This method is somewhat still new to me and honestly I need to work on it to perfect it. But this method is helpful for weak sides, missed connections and stretching tight waves for corse hair wavers. This method is best during 4+ weeks into a wolf. The more growth the better. Combing against the grain then combing with the grain followed by a hard brush session. Seems simple, but I have did some damage the first few attempts. I personally do NOT recommend this method for novice or beginner wavers.

I still have a lot of gains to achieve and several hours of repair brushing sessions because I’m lazy and forgetful. But still spinning my guy.

Stay wavey , brushers.
-Iman

An eye opener… New Orleans??

My trip back home was emotional to say the least.. 

On top of dealing with something I thought would be years from now I had to deal with a lot of things I ran from last time I found myself in New Orleans.

Relationships, places, ideas, dreams, hoods…

All things I left behind in my city , or so I thought.

It was all so surreal seeing the apartment I called home with my wife and step kids. Family that I hadn’t seen since the beginning of my transition. Old neighbors & friends doing the same things they were doing almost 3 years ago. Shit was heavy man.

Then there was the missed connections.. people I thought would love to see me, seemed to do everything in their power to avoid me. Only a certain amount of moving hours in a day.. I missed links with people I really wish I hadn’t. Wasted time linking with those I really wish I hadn’t. 

But what was the most interesting thing over this weekend was random conversations I had with not only complete strangers en route and in town but the in depth conversations I had with some people that I never thought I would have. Outside looking in would appear to be minor things, trivial; but to me were monumental moments in my life that reflected the amazing amount of growth I’ve gone through as a person in just under 2 years.

My total travel time was about 8 hrs there and just below 12hrs on the return. *Including layovers and early arrivals at terminals.

I flew economy there and back with short layovers in Atlanta. Not sure what type of plane was from Syracuse to Atlanta and vise versa. But the 757 & 753 to and from New Orleans was the bees knees. Way to go Delta. 

I still prefer buses over flying , maybe one of these days I’ll take a train for the first time. Plane terminals are a lot easier to me. Maybe because most directions to your gate are pretty obvious and simple to read. Or that the fact there was someone I could re-ask what my gate number was almost every 10 ft. 

However as a TMOC , TSA was not so welcoming. Leaving out of New York wasn’t a problem. No extra searches , pat downs or luggage checks. Butttt coming out of New Orleans was the exact opposite. The workers stuck to their story that the extra “care” was because of my type of identification (which wasn’t a problem 4 days prior) but it still didn’t make me any less pissed about the 1st, 2nd or 3rd pat down. The old lady opening up both of my carry-ons or the wierd selfie stick looking device she ran over the edges of my Kindle.

I kept my cool till it was all over with, returned my vans to feet and stormed off to my gate which I made by the skin of my teeth…

All in all I call this an “eye opening” trip moreso than my previous adventures because it is rare that I get to return to a part of my past with fresh eyes. My reaction to almost everything has changed; from my mother’s passive aggressiveness, waiting on the RTA, certain areas of my city, the type of people I (used to) associate with, to way I receive people and they bullshit.

Yup I’ve changed.

The biggest thing that made it all worth while is people noticing the change in my vibe: “You don’t look all stressed” , “Seem to be alot more calm”, “Nothing pisses you off anymore” …

All things I needed to hear 😊 Things that are most certainly true 😎🀘

Be on the look out for my snapchat Vlog (tried something a little different) coming soon to my YouTube channel.

As always, thanks for reading folks and I appreciate your support πŸ€—

-Iman

#FlyHighGeraldineAUNTGERRYJones πŸ˜‡