Approaching 90days HRT

Hello readers, it’s been a few weeks since I gave y’all any update on HR therapy. 

Well I believe this go round I am currently approaching 90 days in hormone replacement therapy. This particular time in therapy I have decided to stick it out with injections and I must say at first it was unpleasant.

However I have switched from intramuscular injections in my thighs to subcutaneous injections in my belly. Much easier for me personally because the shorter needle gives me less aniexty and since it’s not as deep as intramuscular I don’t experience feeling a needle piercing my muscle.

So update on my dosage: I am now .50 weekly subcutaneous.

This will be my 3rd week doing subcutaneous self injections so I figure I would do a video showing how I do that and explaining a little bit more in depth on my feelings out looks and expectations this time in therapy

So the first 3 months this time in HRT is basically equivalent to the previous times minus I knew what to expect it just happened slightly more rapidly.

Also seems like either the more my body is introduced to hormones or just me being older this time around that I and completely getting better results from therapy. 

I am still experiencing some body fat shift in my chest, waist and glutes. Steadily increasing in over all body hair. And a beautiful surprise of new placed facial hair and darkening/thickening of hairs that have been with me from the very beginning. 

I haven’t had such an incredible in energy and stamina since my first time in therapy (’14-’15). But I love it. Feels like I have also gained in total strength I’ll know that for sure in my next trip to the gym.

My bottom growth has returned bringing my sex drive back with a vengeance. I really could do with out the random boners. I can’t say much for actual growth because I never lost what I gained and I have also took up pumping so I can’t really judge what’s from horomones and what’s from pumping.

I am excited to see how the change from intramuscular to subcutaneous will effect the progress of my therapy.

Thanks for dropping by !!

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THIS IS WHY I LOVE PHILLY !!

Number 1 is my big sister she has been looking out for me since I was just a Tbaby.

Philadelphia in general seems like an ok place to visit maybe live and set up shop. Ok ok so I still don’t know shit about Philly. But so far every time I’ve been there it’s been nothing but good vibes and good times.

This particular weekend I was in Philly for the annual Trans March. Unfortunately due to poor planning and me just being exhausted I missed the majority of the actual March. I did how ever get to see Kahn park and experience the after party of the March. Yes I know, I suck at life.

I still had a wonderful time in Philly and did slightly partake in “the silly”. After party was with a few friends at a small bar in the “gayborhood” called Tabu. Had a Heineken, enjoy some laughs, indulged in some herbs and called it an early night. I am such an old man inside before 10pm in bed by midnight.

Like I say every time I leave Philadelphia; I can’t wait to go back!

Say tuned for my wrap of my time in Philly, coming soon to my YouTube channel….

New York City, is officially HELL!

So here I go traveling again…

This weekend is the Philly Trans March. And for some ungodly reason (cause it was cheaper) decided to go to NYC before heading to Philadelphia. Horrible horrible choice. My first mistake was arriving on a Friday. My second mistake was trying to get a cab at rush hour. My third mistake was trying to catch a Bronx bound train during rush hour. Fourth was getting off the train heading back topside and trying to catch another cab. 5th mistake was me thinking shit wasn’t going to be everything I didn’t want it to be when I got to New York.

This all started because I left my coffee mug at home after my awesome co worker reminded me to bring it….

So I’ve been here in hell since 5pm. (Fucking bus coming down here was and hour and a half late) spent the majority of the time either waiting for a cab or waiting in traffic in a cab.

Sigh….

This had utterly been a night mare and what’s worse is I still have to come back to this price of shit ass city on my way back upstate.

Sorry I’m trying not to vent. But typing this blog is distracting me from the fact that this hard headed cabbie is clearing taking the route with the most damn traffic.

But it’s not all trash. When I finally make it to my destination I will be amongst someone who cares about me , never switched up on me and I couldn’t ask for a better right hand if I lost the one already attached to my wrist.

Thanks for listening to be bitch and nag. I’ll make it up you guys.

-Iman

2 months of 360s

It has been a lot of trial and error.

I have learned that a cannot go more than a few days without wearing my durag at night without causing damage.

Any wet towel method is somewhat detrimental. Shrinkage is not helpful.

A dirty brush is a useless brush.

Don’t wash during a wolf.

There is NEVER a point that you WON’T have to brush.
So approaching 60 days in this new hair journey and I am very displeased that for the last almost week I have been doing horrible at maintenance. Missed brush sessions, no training, sleeping without my rag. It’s been a cluster fuck. 

In my defense I haven’t been able to keep any sort of schedule besides work. But time to get back on schedule. I have been blessed with the texture and dedication to achieve excellent waves so why not put my best brush forward.

I found that the best rountine for me is a nice full brush session followed by connection training and the plastic bag method at night. Of course I could brush more during the day but I’m working on it.

Dedication is key. 2 weeks of slacking in the brush department will cause negative effects and you will most likely start losing progress. Connections breaking. Crown separating. ( I think I have one of the best crowns to say I’m less than 3 months in ). I’ve said this before but sticking to a routine that works for you is important to see progress.

Good luck wavers. Keep brushing.

Let’s talk, BABIES *whats up Iman

 

YES , I said babies πŸ‘Ά. Of course if you knew me a few years ago , hell my whole life actually up into the last couple months you most likely will take this as a joke. But I warn you this is not a drill.

I’m not sure if it’s the fact that I realized that I’m pushing thirty with no kids of my own, that I have finally become comfortable enough with myself as an adult to give it a try, or that I’ve realized that I can finally truly have a “baby momma”.

Ok so let’s get the dumb questions out of the way πŸ€¦πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈ. How is man going to have a baby ? Come on people we are in 2017. Google is a thing , use it. But I know sometimes people completely ignorant to queer/trans lifestyles some how find their way to my blog. So for my avid readers bear with me as I clear somethings up for the lost one-gendered people.

Of course being a transman it is still medically and physically possible for me to make a baby. Also being a transman it’s is medically and physically possible for me to carry said child.

Duh.

So let’s travel down memory lane for a second. I have raised children from babies to toddlers to adolescents; from teens to adults & yes even adults to older adults. In my younger years (beside just not liking kids) I put having biological kids out of my mind because, well; I’m the daddy. Meaning I’d rather not procreate with another masculine person.

Now that the black and white area has become grey and I’ve taken more than just a stroll on the queer side I’ve found that having biological kids with a feminine person is not as far fetched as it seems for a guy like me.

So with all that on the table I have made the conscious decision to procreate with another transgender individual. Of course that means I will have to carry the baby myself. Not saying it’s gonna be the best time of my life but you play the cards you’re dealt. This allows me to have a biological child with a feminine person.

Yea I’m talking bout that trans on trans love y’all ❀️. Ha ha.

Now of course this is still somewhat new to society and I am very much prepared for everyone’s opinions (wether I asked for them or not). Backlash from not only the cis-hetero-normative community & the LGB community but also from my own trans community. But we all know Kris gives no fucks. 🀣

To some degree the idea of coparenting still makes me uneasy because of my Virgo characteristics. Knowing that in some instances I will have to compromise on the way I want to raise my child because it will be OUR child (to some luck woman).

But I’ve seen so many baby momma/baby daddy issues it’s more or less in the back of my mind. As long as you coparent with someone you have a strong line of communication with you can get through anything as a family.

So then biggest worry I have with this whole coparenting idea is how it will affect my child. 2 homes. 2 sets of parents. 2 lives. πŸ˜” However I am given hope because I first hand saw how it will affect the child well into adulthood.

So the biggest challenge now would be to find a woman that is willing to procreate and coparent with me😩. I’m not that bad of a guy but then again I ain’t exactly what some would call a “catch”. There is someone for everyone. Or at least what the old folks used to tell the ugly kids growing up.

So in closing; I am now taking applications for baby mother. Inquire within. πŸ˜‚

Happy hunting !

Instagram: Iman.da.god
Snapchat: Selfmadekris

Well hello for the 3rd time, NYC

 

I don’t know how I keep ending up coming back to this place πŸ€¦πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈ but at least I don’t live here anymore.

Feels so good to say that 😁

Sooo my return trip was a straight shot. One other pick up but not a single layover. Ended up back almost an hour early. Awesome right? Yea until I take the wrong train going the wrong way and totally fuck my life. No big deal reminds me of the first time out here last year attempting to catch the train by myself.

So long story short I took my jet lagged irritated ass topside and just caught a cab from Manhattan to the Bronx.

The cab ride is somewhat bitter sweet….

The fact that I can once again afford cabbies from Manhattan to the Bronx gives me heart palpitations. I’m throwing myself a congratulatory party since I totally deserve it.

I really don’t want to stress out and over analyze everything like I normally do so my goal is to relax , stay calm & remember everything is under control because I am in control.

Yea easier said then done.

A city called Ithaca, A village named Dryden.

 

Everything was a complete success!

😭😭😭😭😭 *tears of joy because I haven’t made that statement in over a year.

Ahh the homely town of Ithaca, NY… where do i start???…

For my fellow New Orleanians I would best describe Ithaca as 60% Metairie & 40% the country. (Y’all know what I mean when I say country) *Lutcher, Gramercy, St James etc

New Yorkers of course probably know how upstate NY is.

And for the rest of the world I would just say it’s a small townπŸ€·πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈ

The village of Dryden. Yes, population “village”. Few miles and a couple minutes away from downtown Ithaca. Little more out there a little more quiet & a little more country. Population wise this is probably the smallest area I have ever stayed in. Nevertheless I feel like this could be exactly what I need. πŸ™ƒ

So Monday afternoon I saw 2 different places. The first one was terrible. The house itself, was super nice. The landlord & neighbors not so much. Eh. Long story short as a POC I knew that the wasn’t the best choice πŸ™„.

That bummed me out for a few minutes. I was so excited I just knew I was going to find the perfect spot on the first day, first try. The next destination; of course, appeared that it was going to be the same prejudice. I mean honestly it was from the patrons when I walked into the bar/restaurant. (Oh yes btw I live directly above a bar/restaurant & also a barbershop, haha)

I’m not the type to just turn around and leave when I get the whole “where did this little black boy come from look?”. The first place was different I was getting all these weird “Get Out” time of vibes from the cat lady type landlord. That was just too many red flags.

I was determined to find something on my second try. Come to find out everyone there is super nice and super caring about their tenants 😁. So I viewed the quiet studio apartment and was I more than surprised. I found my home. Perfect size. Right location. Reasonable Rent. Plus only 16 steps down stairs to an alcoholic beverage. Immediately leaving the apartment I emailed the leasing manager that I had been contacting for the past week. She did not respond immediately πŸ˜•. I chalked it up to here being busy which she had advised of prior. Still no response after we left the office from a long day’s work. Now I’m getting a little worried. However I still keep my spirits high. Went about the rest of my evening and semi forgot I was waiting on an email.

 

The next day…

So I get to work in the morning ready to jump right back in from where we left off the afternoon before. My boss asked if I had heard anything back and then I got anxious and by 11am I was making telephone calls.

So I finally got a hold of someone and explained that their space was absolutely perfect. Of course it was the normal proof of income, references, background check yada yada. Definitely was not doing a background check. Because ignorance is bliss πŸ˜‚. I had a whole list of “references” I was creating. Shout outs to those who answered the call ! ✊🏾 I step outside to smoke not more that 15 from speaking with the property manage I received a return call. Before I had a sent off the email of acquired “references”

#success

So 2 hrs later (if that long) I’m doing the move in walk through. Rent receipt & keys in hand I felt so fulfilled. 😍 The last year of traveling has been so unforgiving.

Right back to work not skipping a beat some where during the work day I almost forgot that I still have to go back to NYC to gather my measly belongings πŸ€¦πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈ. Called it an early work and I’m still on a mental high. Even as I type this blog it all feels so surreal.(not sure if that’s word I’m looking for, working on 3hrs of sleep)

So now that I’ve FINALLY got everything under control all that’s left is to tie up loose ends and pack and my new life can begin.

See you in a few hours NYC!!!

 

4 weeks in HRT *(again, again)

A month strong (minus one hiccup) in hormone replacement therapy πŸ™ŒπŸΎ

The first few weeks are the same every time. Subtle changes in the body here and there; if you know what you’re looking for.

What I can say restarting therapy so many times on different dosages has allowed me to see and understand the effects of my levels vs the amount and speed my body goes through certain changes.

Recap:

Original Dosage : .25
Biweekly

Original Gel Dosage : 1g /day

Restarted Dosage : .50
Weekly

Restarted Gel Dosage : 5g / day

Current Dosage : .25
Biweekly

 

My first levels ever test came back a little over 900. Definitely not good. For those who don’t know target testosterone levels for me are 600-850. *2014
Being more knowledgeable now I also notice that each time I reentered therapy my levels reacted differently excluding the change in dosage. As I suspected back then; the more on the low side my levels are the more rapid my body experiences the “re-puberty”.
So setting my own standards I am putting my target T levels at 650-750. Small window but it’s my transition so I think it’s fair I set my goals and limitations.

Looking back on all the times I began HRT I think the most evolved trait due to the introduction of hormones would be hair. Not so much the end result but the actual journey. To come from a place where peach fuzz took months to come in and regrow and was so thin and light it looked like my hairs could be wiped off. To now where legit stubble arrives at just under a week and and returning sporadic dark whisker patches on the bottom of both of my cheeks. And the icing on the cake my legit stache connects to my valid chin whiskers to make a struggling goatee. None of which I could say I had before. Wont even get started on the chest , belly and back hair.

In & out. Up & down the only thing that seemed to noticeably fluctuate was my weight, fat distribution & sex drive. Still I’ve heard unstable levels over time can be a health concern. But I’m sure everyone here already knows not to follow be behind me. πŸ€·πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈ

Personally each time in therapy got a little easier. I understood more. I got insurance. Overcame my phobias of needles (now I just don’t like them). And best of all I’ve learned how to make hormones a priority and actually stick to some type of schedule.

Back to present day…

Same changes around the same time period as the first time in hormone replacement therapy. Maybe a little more prudent because i.e. this isn’t my first rodeo. Hair was already growing there. Fat had been redistributed before. Adam’s apple had already enlarged etc.

Nothing magical…

Wish I could have more to share but the first month is usually boring.

If my calculations are correct my first home self injection should be coming up soon so be on the look out for that.

 

Thank you to all my readers !
-Iman

Living with bipolar depression and anxiety.

 

Or should I say “battling” πŸ€”

Either way I have been “struggling” with this mental disorder as a child. Yes as a child πŸ˜”. Sadly this has been an ongoing battle for as long as I can remember.

It makes life difficult but not impossible…

Let me take you back as far as I can remember;

I was around 5 years old. I had recently been told I was adopted by my mother. As a bright kid I understood what that meant but also as a care free child it didn’t make much sense. I only knew one parent. My mom was my mother irregardless to anything.
Going through court appearances & learning to spell my new name was trying but it didn’t affect me that much (or so I thought).
After i turned 8 I became what was; at the time, “a rebellious child”. My mother started receiving phone calls from the school, I was misbehaving at home & just seemed to always be the one that “did it”… But to me I was just a kid.
So my mom did what most parents did for an over active hyper child in the 90s πŸ™„ took me to a therapist.
And just like that boom πŸ’₯ I was diagnosed with ADHD and depression. I didn’t grasp what that was at all. I knew in the mornings I had to take a pill and at lunch everyday at school I had to take my medicine.
I can’t recall feeling all that different on the antidepressants. But the meds for my attention disorder well they did a number on me. Mostly for the better because I was physically able to keep still with out feeling like I was going to explode. So I guess the did they job.
Skipping a few years into the future I’m approaching my 11 birthday and my favorite phrase and answer for everything was ” I don’t care” at first it was shrugged off my mother. However by Christmas my response to what do I want from was still “I don’t care”. Looking back at in now what i thought was just a phase was a sign to deeper mental problems that would reveal themselves later on in life. Because when the rebuttal to my phrase was “Well what do you care about?” I really didn’t have an honest answer.
So that went on for more than a year. That was my first time dealing with my depression; not knowing exactly what it was at the time. Then the following 2 years were extremely difficult. Experienced my mother having a break down at the lost of her mother, the lost and abandonment I felt during hurricane Katrina and ultimately the lost of my grandmother weakened my strength ever more so. It was during this time that I could be honest with myself that I had a problem. But I down played it a chalked it up to PTSD & not having a loving environment. I had ups and down over the next decade or so.
Fast forwarding to 23 years old when I realized that my depression can in fact be cropping. It was in this 6-8th month breakdown I had 2 suicide attempts, constantly went missing for days & wouldn’t leave the house for months at a time. That was the first time I really reached out for help, professional help. Needless to say I could have used it 4-5 years sooner, but better late than never.
Can’t say this story has a happy fairy tale ending because to this day my life is a struggle dealing with the lack of capability to control my thoughts & emotions all the time and that’s putting it nicely.
I had another breakdown that almost wound me up in psychiatric hospital at the age of 25.

My mental disorders do not define me nor what I can accomplish in life. The do make up a part of who I am but it is not the biggest nor most important part of me.

I am Strong. I am Determined. I am Resilient.

Mental disorders like bipolar depression, PTSD, anxiety, schizophrenia etc are serious issues in our community. They aren’t talked about and even less likely treated or monitored.

So if you have a friend , family or know someone that suffers from these or any mental condition or disorder please let them know you are there for them; sometimes that’s all we need.

Thanks for listening..
-Kristian Iman

Apartment Hunting!!!

It’s currently “too damn early to be up” o’clock.

And once again I am on the road 😁

This time I am heading to Ithaca, New York; to check out some apartments. I’ve been frantically trying to gather information and schedule days and times to view prospective apartments since my return from philly last weekend.

It’s about a 4hr ride from Manhattan to Ithaca; greyhound style. All I want to do right now is nap.

I was able to get some sleep last night somehow and the anxiety didn’t kick in and wake me up till about 1am …yayy

Just my luck I ended up sitting in front of two underage college strangers that want to get to know each other’s whole life story on this greyhoundπŸ™„ I don’t know what’s worse the blonde chewing her gum or this guys accent πŸ€¦πŸΎβ€β™‚οΈ

Anyways….

Keeping my fingers crossed 🀞🏾 that hopefully I find reasonable accommodations today because I would loathe having to come back 2 & 3 times just to apartment hunt.
I learned first hand from Houston, Tx that no matter how much cash you have finding a suitable apartment can sometimes be a long winded game of chess.

The sooner I find a place the sooner I can settle in and the sooner I can begin my dream job.

Think I’ll take a nap for a little while and dream of all the good things to soon come.

Add me on Snapchat @selfmadekris

&

Follow me on Instagram @Iman.da.god

…For live videos and updates from my journey to Ithaca New York.

I’ll be back shortly !