68 things I miss about home

 

  1. Arguing over whose turn it is to go to the “candy lady”. One of the few instances where “not it” does not imply. Usually based on seniority or in some clear cut cases “I went last time” is sufficient enough
  2. Crawfish, Crawfish, Crawfish. As a kid (before I knew how to peel them) I could inhale at least 6lbs. Now as an adult I rarely ate more a pounds. But what I wouldn’t give for one of the little small ones.
  3. Hot sauce. No REAL hot sauce. Never really realize how much you take Crystals for granted until you no longer have access to it.
  4. Knowing everyone. It used to be sooo annoying. Now I understand the meaning of stranger danger.
  5. Snowballs. Yes I originally thought snowballs in the Chinese rice boxes were nationwide. Apparently not.
  6. “Hows ya mom’n’dem?” Translated : “How is your mother and your family doing?” Knowing that if you told ya momma “so-n-so” asked about her is going to trigger a long speech but you do it anyways.
  7. The “Neutral Grounds”. To most people around the world it is called a “median” , but to us it’s a parking spot, a place in the shade to wait for a bus or the best spot to catch the parade.
  8. Winn-Dixie. No not the book, the actual store.
  9. Nights on the lakefront. Some place have beaches others have piers. But give me 5 cans of Off bug spray and meet me on the lake for a crawfish boil.
  10. Normal size bugs. If you’ve been to places like Texas or Arizona then you definitely know what I’m talking about.
  11. Complaining about the RTA. Yea we’ve all cussed out that bus or street car driver that saw us running an still pulled off.
  12. Raising Canes. One word: CANES SAUCE.
  13. Jazzland. Or sixflags if you came along after the 90s. Or an abandoned forgotten amusement park if you didn’t get here till the 2000s
  14. Hurricane season. Yes Katrina basically killed my childhood and ruined my life. But nothing was more bittersweet than seeing your school on the “schools closed” list
  15. Hot sausage poboy. Or any poboy for that matter. Shrimp, oyster, fish, ham n cheese. As long as your French bread ain’t stale “lemme get two”
  16. Mardi Gras holidays. Wasn’t until I was about 15 that I realized that this was a holiday on found in New Orleans.
  17. The Superdome. And nooooo not the fancy “Mercedes Benz Superdome” we have now but the original one.
  18. The Twin Span. Why I miss this I don’t know. Crossing that damn bridge was always the longest 2 days of my life.
  19. Second Line Sunday’s. Most likely accompanied by gun shots, fights and NOPD. But the injuns always did they thing.
  20. Tulane & Broad. Lol naw just kidding. I really don’t miss that place.
  21. Having a Pa-Ran & a Teedie instead of godparents. I never knew that’s what that meant but ok.
  22. Manchu’s. Some people say they was in there cooking rats and pigeons , dogs and cats. All I know it that you can pull leftover Manchu’s out the fridge and eat it cold and it still be off the chain.
  23. Buku. The amount of shit I get for using that word any where but home is ridiculous. It’s freaking French you morons. It means a lot.
  24. Getting the piece of king cake with the baby in it. As a kid it’s a wonderful thing, as a parent it’s usually about $25.50.
  25. Morris Bart. Never actually had to call him for anything. But I remember his commercials clear as day. One call, that’s all.
  26. NOPD. Siiiiiiiiiiikeeee. Naw it was just a joke. They can kiss my whole ass !
  27. Audubon Zoo. What a way to spend a Sunday. Btw I heard they finally finished the new Elephant enclosure.
  28. Daiquiris. And I mean real New Orleans original daiquiris. From the daiquiris shop.
  29. Canal St. yea it’s a pain to work downtown. But on a boring low budget Saturday night “Canal St.” seems like buku fun.
  30. Mardi Gras. Also known as Fat Tuesday, also known as a holiday week to get fucked up.
  31. Big shot. Surprise surprise. Look at the bottle , you won’t find them anywhere else ; sadface.
  32. Hurricane Doppler Radar. Bob Breck greatest meteorologist of all time. Let’s argue.
  33. Taking Broad. From the east through gentilly to get downtown because the interstate is packed.
  34. Tchopitullis. I don’t really miss it. It’s just going to be funny to see other people try to pronounce it.
  35. The Riverwalk. Everything is always 60% off , they validate your parking & the view is perfect for a smoke session.
  36. Bourbon St. At first it was really cool. Then it got really lame. Now we avoid it at all cost.
  37. -eaux. Knowin that this sounds like “oh”. Geaux tigers! Geaux saints. Yo mommas a heaux.
  38. Gumbo. Apparently can’t everyone make gumbo. Never knew that.
  39. No open container laws. We probably have them but shit nobody cares. If you’re old enough carry on.
  40. Being a legal adult at 17. Don’t know, but it was pretty cool to say when I was 17.
  41. Catfish fridays. Everyone knows about red beans Monday but what you know bout that Friday fish fry.
  42. “Ya herd meh?!” Sometimes it’s a question. Sometimes it’s a statement. But it’s always said every other fifth word. Jus go with it.
  43. Free Cable. Cause you have that one cousin that works for Cox but looks out for you cause you fam.
  44. Callin yo people to come turn yo lights back on. Cause it’s Friday and Entergy be tripping.
  45. Q93. From way back in the day when they did the 9 o’clock props. To current where we still listen longer to Q93.
  46. Cajuns. Which one ? It doesn’t matter as long as you bring me back a smoked sausage.
  47. Rouses / Ross’ . When ya moms holla she going to the store did you want anythin and you don’t know whether to tell her some snacks or some socks.
  48. Flipping over a Jazzy Pass. Is it expired? Is it brand new? You don’t know but those purple zigzag made your heart skip a beat.
  49. The head. Downtown? Need Bud? Go check by the head them dudes prolly got it
  50. Unc/Teedie. A sign a respect that can often be misunderstood if said unc or teedie has yet come to terms wit their age.
  51. Cold drinks. Not fuckin SODA. Not fuckin POP. Not a fucking BEER. A “cold drink”. Only in New Orleans can ” a hot cold drink” make sense.
  52. Grass. I used to complain about not having side walk in certain parts of the city. But after living in this concrete jungle I’ll be fine if I never see another sidewalk in my life.
  53. Random festivals. Beignet festival. Crawfish festival. Strawberry festival. Tomatoe festival. You name it, we have a festival for it.
  54. Everything is pickled. Pickled okra. Pickled meat. Pickled eggs. Pickled pig feet. Pickled pig lips.
  55. And you can’t forget the hot pickle in a bag. No words needed. Just pass me a bag of hot cheetos.
  56. One ways. Making 3 rights or backing down up the street. Both has the same outcome. One takes patience the other takes skill.
  57. Governor/Mayor. I don’t miss them clowns. Just thought I’d point out the Bobby Jindal & Mitch Landrieu have made more empty promises than most New Orleans would like to recall.
  58. The weather. Just like the people it’s bipolar as hell. Start your day off wearing a jacket, if you have it on by lunch you’re definitely facing a heat stroke. And who could forget walking to the end of your driveway in the morning to check the weather.
  59. The highrise. I’ve lived in the east all my life but that Danzinger bridge has made countless people late for work for decades now. How does it take 30 mins to go over one bridge at 8am on week day !!!
  60. Oak trees. Cypress trees. Pine trees. Magnolia trees….need I really say more?
  61. Faulty pumping stations. No I don’t miss these but for some reason they still exist tho, go figure
  62. People telling me ” I’m  trippin ” while I’m sitting down. Now there’s always bugs or some shit. Or I’m in the wilderness. These niggas be tripping.
  63. Christmas in the Oaks. I wouldn’t say not as much fun as a kid; just a different type of fun. You’re never to old to “ohh” and “aaah” at pretty Christmas lights
  64. Bored pull out the grill. If there’s one way to find something to do on a Friday afternoon grab a 12 pack , pull out the grill and watch the games begin.
  65. The smell of fresh cut grass. Never realized how the little things you notice when they are gone.
  66. A simple nod. A welcoming gesture of the south. Nod up if you know them, nod down if you don’t. But everyone gets a nod! Southern hospitality.
  67. The 12 Yats of Christmas. It’s like no one else in the world knows “Santa and his reign deer used to live right here”.
  68. Genes poboy. Best sandwich in the world !! Enough said
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